Spilling my guts

[icanbeyourfriend]

Hi,
I'm new here and so glad to have found this place. I was diagnosed with depression about a month ago, and it has led me on the most amazing spiritual journey. I've always considered myself a Christian, but my faith has been solidified by this experience. Yes, I am on anti-depressants, but I have also changed so many things about my life. My attitude had become so negative that it was poisoning me. I was constantly involved in negative self-talk and feelings of worthlessness. Always looking for the bad in situations and people. What a wake-up call it's been! I'm feeling soooo much better and have great hope for the future now that I feel God's presence so strongly in my life. Part of my healing has come from reading everything positive and encouraging I can get my hands on (I went to the library and hit the Christian shelves big time!). I've stopped watching so much junk on TV, and I've eliminated foul and negative language without really trying. I just don't have any desire.

There has to be a problem, right? Well, my new positive outlook is putting a strain on my marriage. My husband is becoming increasingly negative. I realize now that in many ways, he helped contribute to my negative feelings about others. He's always been positive and encouraging to me but seriously critical of most other people. I've been trying to cultivate friendships with other Christians, and he can't stand the idea of letting anyone into our insulated world (that I've now started to chisel away at). He just doesn't trust many people. I've been very open and shared my thoughts, feelings, outlook, insights from reading materials, but he feels threatened and has even said he's afraid I'm going to leave him because of my new life. I've reassured him that I'm not!

Hey, wasn't I supposed to be the sick one here? Now I find myself facing a brand new stress when I thought I was healing in such a fantastic way! I've prayed about this and know that I need to be patient with him. He's just been flying off the handle a lot more lately.

How's that for an introduction? There. I've spilled my guts. Any ideas?

 

[RaddMadd]

oh is he Christian?

 

[icanbeyourfriend]

He considers himself Christian but admits he's skeptical and criticizes anyone outside his denomination.

 

[RaddMadd]

He considers himself Christian but admits he's skeptical and criticizes anyone outside his denomination.

oh have you both become born again?

 

[RaddMadd]

oh have you both become born again?

cuz yeah if you haven't just read John 3:3. and ask what it is. if you have then just pray with faith and don't worry cuz your praying with faith!

 

[icanbeyourfriend]

cuz yeah if you haven't just read John 3:3. and ask what it is. if you have then just pray with faith and don't worry cuz your praying with faith!

I am born again; he's not.

 

[PrairieGurl]

Dearest Icanbeyourfriend,

You ARE healing in such a fantastic way

I don't know why some men seem so threatened when their wives make a positive change My husband, at the begining, was supportive and encouraging...but it seems as I cultivate more friendships and want less of the "worldly stuff"...he gets upset. Could it be that they are convicted of "where they are in their lives"????

 

[icanbeyourfriend]

Thanks, WantToBe! It helps to know I'm not alone. I am going to keep praying that the Lord will bring us closer and make our family a much happier one. I was at rock bottom and so was our family (we have 3 sons), and I'm now able to give my kids the love and encouragement they need. I was just going through the motions, but I'm coming back to life more and more each day and learning to appreciate each and every moment!
God Bless!

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Is he open to the idea of therapy?

 

[icanbeyourfriend]

I can't imagine he would ever seek counseling, and I don't even want to ask right now. I may go; I have a checkup coming up with my doctor and can get a referral then.

He lives in a tight circle and lets very very few people in. He doesn't want to be vulnerable.

I was talking to another mom at the local pool yesterday, and we just both ended up sharing stories of our renewed faith. I don't believe in coincidence anymore!!! I was so excited and felt a real sense of trust with this woman, but when my husband found out he said I'd better not be telling her anything about him. I hadn't said much--just that we'd been going to his church and I hadn't felt a strong connection there. Ugh!

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

That's to bad that he isn't very open to the idea of counseling. It could really help him to change his negative thinking patterns. At least you are doing better, though!

 

[PrairieGurl]

Thanks, WantToBe! It helps to know I'm not alone. I am going to keep praying that the Lord will bring us closer and make our family a much happier one. I was at rock bottom and so was our family (we have 3 sons), and I'm now able to give my kids the love and encouragement they need. I was just going through the motions, but I'm coming back to life more and more each day and learning to appreciate each and every moment!
God Bless!

This is SO GREAT to hear icanbeyourfriend We have two sons who I can now give love and encouragement that they need. "Coming back to life"...this phrase is just how I feel too! Somedays this seems to "level out" BUT most days my family and I can see the changes !

 

[RaddMadd]

I am born again; he's not.

hey! well there you go. theres the problem. if he's not born again then that create alot of problems. its only natural for something like this to occur, actually it would be weird if it didn't. just get him to become born again. take him through the commandments showing him hes in need of the Saviour. if you don't think this will help, tell me why, if you think it will help but need more info on it, then ask and thou shalt recieve

God Bless!!

 

[icanbeyourfriend]

hey! well there you go. theres the problem. if he's not born again then that create alot of problems. its only natural for something like this to occur, actually it would be weird if it didn't. just get him to become born again. take him through the commandments showing him hes in need of the Saviour. if you don't think this will help, tell me why, if you think it will help but need more info on it, then ask and thou shalt recieve

God Bless!!

Hmm....it definitely would have to be a gradual realization, I think, but I have my doubts. (Still have hope, though!) He's very very resistant to change. He just says little things that put down my new outlook. I'm trying to just live the way I need to live and ignore his negative attitude. If you have any ideas, I'm all ears!

 

[RaddMadd]

Hmm....it definitely would have to be a gradual realization, I think, but I have my doubts. (Still have hope, though!) He's very very resistant to change. He just says little things that put down my new outlook. I'm trying to just live the way I need to live and ignore his negative attitude. If you have any ideas, I'm all ears!

lol yeah i getcha. im the same sometimes i don't like change i just like to chill.just teach him how to get saved.

the disciples in the scriptures were casting nets all day, they didn't recieve any fish intil Jesus came, He told them to cast the nets again, when they did, the nets were overflowing with fish. this shows that we should just teach His Good News and He will do the rest. cast the nets and He will fill them!

God bless!