Soo...DivorceCare?

[deliciousBass]

Anyone been or going to a local DivorceCare group?

I've been to two meetings now and for the most part it's pretty good. We have it at my church and we spend maybe half an hour watching a video and the rest of the time talking about our situations and giving eachother support. We have several people there who are pretty much already over their divorce but are just there to support and encourage others.

What sucks for me is that I'm like 1 of 2 guys who shows up hehe. The rest are women with abusive, alcholic, drug addicted, violent, or cheating husbands so I feel bad. They are all victims and in my case, I was the jerk But at least I get to see what my wife went through.

Anyway, I would highly recommend it... Especially if you feel lonely. For two hours you get to spend time with people going through similiar situations. It is also a biblically based class with the understanding that God is the only person who can heal you completely so that's a plus as well.

 

[tryingtobeagain]

That sounds like a great idea! I know my church dosen't have one but I think I might suggest it.

 

[momoftwocuteboys8]

That's so great that you're able to attend those DivorceCare meetings. I don't have any in my area, but they do have a 13 week course on their website that I've been doing and it's been very helpful. You can print it out and work on it each day. It's a good resource to help you work on all the different emotions and stages of divorce that you're facing. They also send emails that are very encouraging. I'd definately recommend that everyone check out the website.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

You can go if you were the jerk! That's right up my alley!

Seriously, I just talked to a pastor about this today. A very dear friend of my wife and I went when she divorced a few years ago and recommends it. If we do separate in the next two weeks, I may attend DivorceCare. The group here has had a few people reconcile and not get divorced. I'm hoping.

 

[Godisgr8r]

I went a few years ago and I really liked it a lot. It helps to have other people that you can talk to that understand what you are going through.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Are there people there that admit to being the cause - primary problem creators?

 

[Godisgr8r]

Yes, there were a few when I went.

 

[deliciousBass]

Are there people there that admit to being the cause - primary problem creators?

Hehe, at the group at my church I was the only one.

 

[FLANDIDLYANDERS]

Divorce care? Interesting.

I juss go to a play park or party house and end up in conversations with several about these issues. Works for me, and them it seems.

 

[Godisgr8r]

It's more than conversations. It's kind of like a bible study. You have workbooks you do together, and videos you watch. It was very interesting. I liked it.

 

[dbhost]

Anyone been or going to a local DivorceCare group?

I've been to two meetings now and for the most part it's pretty good. We have it at my church and we spend maybe half an hour watching a video and the rest of the time talking about our situations and giving eachother support. We have several people there who are pretty much already over their divorce but are just there to support and encourage others.

What sucks for me is that I'm like 1 of 2 guys who shows up hehe. The rest are women with abusive, alcholic, drug addicted, violent, or cheating husbands so I feel bad. They are all victims and in my case, I was the jerk But at least I get to see what my wife went through.

Anyway, I would highly recommend it... Especially if you feel lonely. For two hours you get to spend time with people going through similiar situations. It is also a biblically based class with the understanding that God is the only person who can heal you completely so that's a plus as well.

InRiv,

First things first, your honesty is quite refreshing.
Secondly, I did not do Divorce Care, as it was not available in my area when I went through my divorce a couple of years ago. However, I went through a similar program at Houston's Second Baptist Church called "Rebuilders". There was a much more equal (40% men 60% women) mix in the group. The small group within the program I was in though I was the only man at the table other than our instructor. It was pretty eye opening more for the women in the small group than for myself. Generally speaking, if you are going through one of those programs, something serious has gone wrong. To the last person in the small group, we were all the ones cheated on, abandoned, or abused. There were a few, but not many that were in the program that had been the adulterer, and they were there dealing with a lot of guilt over what they had done to their families, and the families of the other person. I don't envy them for having that kind of guilt on their conscience.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

I guess I'll definitely be starting in two weeks. She said in our counseling that she was separating more to prepare for divorce than to try to heal the marriage. She said tonite she's not sure we'll continue to go to counseling after we separate.

It's no hopeless, but it sure feels that way.

 

[GodHasAPlan]

I got a lot out of the Divorce Care sessions. I am still going - and I feel that the Lord can speak to you along the way.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

I start a week from Monday. I'm out of town for a week, and when I get back we separate. She decided on Thursday, so even discussing reconciliation ... even asking her to consider in in three months ... angers her.

Good news is a friend that went when she divorced three years ago is going to go with me. Kind of moral support.

 

[AirForceTeacher]

I went today and I am the only one whose wife didn't have an affair or was verbally abusive. So, I'm the only one there whose divorce was their fault. I could barely sit in the room.

I want to reconcile ... I am really working hard to change myself, but my wife gave up.

 

[psalms66]

I've been going for 2 weeks now. It's been pretty god. I put my foot in my mouth though about him leaving so many times, etc. not in a mean way, just mentioned it. ANd the lady beside me said, "I did that to my husband."

oops.

I find I don't say as much now. But the part for the children is EXCELLENT. MIne love it and it has really helped them.

 

[mimi4him]

I just signed up for divorce recovery class . It starts this sunday (11th) . I am nervous about going but at the same time hoping I will come out a better person as far as not wanting my stbx to be cheated on so he will know how it feels. Plus I really want to let go of all the hurt ,anger and fear of being alone.

blessings
carol

 

[AirForceTeacher]

Blessings to you Carol. I'm going to figure out how to deal and hopefully to end up reconciling.

 

[deliciousBass]

Tomorrow I go to my 7th class and so far it has been well worth it. I've made some great friends out of it and I thoroughly enjoy and look forward to going every Tuesday night. The videos they make you watch are for the most part, right on the money. I advise any Christian going through a divorce/separation to attend.

Irv

 

[Wendell]

I finished up divorce care in November and my divorce was final in October. It was perfect timing, when I started the class in August we knew we were getting divorced but were just working out the details. I think everyone who is divorced should find a class and go through it. It not only helps you get through the tough times but prepares you for future relationships. My favorite Quote was ”divorce either makes you bitter or better your choice” I GOT BETTER!!!There were three men in the class one “Jerk” and two of us who were not perfect but not the cause of the divorce. With a 10:1 ratio (women to men) I found myself looking for the closest door one time when the man haters were in full rant, but it was just words and I learned that compared to most divorced me I am one heck of a good guy.