son problems

[~PICKLE~]

lately i am having major promblems out of my son..... he does not listen to his daddy or me at anytime, he does anything he can to make his sister cry. He has started telling me that he hates me and that I am mean. He even told me today he didn't want to live with me anymore. He's only 5 and i have no clue what is going on....

This morning we had a church come to where we live and give the kids presents and tell them the Christmas story. Usually when this happens he sits with the other kids and listens....today though he would not stay still and when i asked him to sit for just one minute until she was done, he started throwing a fit and saying he hated me. So I took him outside and spanked his bumm and talkied to him, he wouldn't listen he kept trying to run from me. I'm at my wits in, We can't go anywhere with him causing a scene. HE wants what he wants and if he don't get it, he throws the biggest fit there is.....Help what should I do.

 

[alaskamolly]

It's really hard to know when you can't actually be there and see it all in action, but there's one thing FOR SURE that will probably help:


Spend way more time with him than usual, and do his favorite things together.

Somewhere, somehow, your relationship is strained, and before discipline is going to help any, he needs to know that your heart and his beat together. So whatever it is he loves to do--if it's Lego's, then get down on the floor with him and build some contraption (fake that you like it, if you hate it). If he likes stories, sit on the couch with him and read him some male adventurous story. If he likes helping you bake, have him be your #1 Chef's Assistant and make Christmas cookies together--WHATEVER he loves that you can do together.

While you're doing it, look him in the eyes A LOT and SMILE at him a lot. Enjoy him. Ask God to help you enjoy him (even more than you already do). I'm not saying to cater to him, or to suck up to him, but I'm just talking about relishing time spent with him. Sometimes when a child becomes a discipline problem, it starts making us feel exactly the opposite!


Take him out of the house as little as possible, until he's more controllable--in the meantime, be his best buddy and do things with him as often as you can, complimenting him constantly (real compliments, not fake stuff) on his manly attributes (wow--you're mopping the floor faster than I can--you have really strong muscles!), etc...



This is what I would do in this situation. There have been a few times where I have "lost" one of my children--meaning, lost their hearts, because I was really busy or preoccupied in something else. You can tell by that look in their eye... It doesn't take long to win their heart back--they just need to know you really really really do love them, that you want them, that you are so delighted God gave them to you (and that's a great thing to tell them often!). There's nothing that spells love like T-I-M-E.

As you pray about this, God will probably give you all sorts of creative ideas you can use to reach out to your son--better ideas than mine! These are just my educated guesses! *grin* He will also probably begin to show you the root of the problem, so that you can deal with that area too. He's the best "parent of parents" around! Heehee...

Hope things get better for you!!!
Love in Him,
Molly

 

[BeanMak]

That is the best advice I have heard in a long time!

 

[mamaneenie]

I don't think I can add anything else to that advice. I am starting to go through something similar with my 3 yo boy. It doesn't help that I am sick so I guess I might give it a go.

 

[LynnMcG]

Wow, Molly you're a great mom. That was awesome. Thank you, I think I'm going to turn of my computer and spend some time with my kids!

 

[okiemommy26]

Well my daughter was doing the screaming tantrums when she was 5 especially durning Sunday school so my mom came over one day and we prayed over her, laid hands on her and prayed that the devil would leave her alone because she is a really good kid and we didnt know why she was doing that and it work she hasn't done it since. I think the devil is fighting you because you are trying to bring him up in the Lord and the devil doesn't want you to. I agree with Molly also