A common thing of old fashioned courtship is the guy asks the dad permission to marry his daughter. Just wandering, what if the son asks permsission, and the dad says no? What happens? If the son marries the daughter after her dad does not grant him permission, can the dad have the son arrested? Can he have a restraining order put on him? Can the son be charged with rape?
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Son asks dad, dad says no
- Thread starter jsu5381m
- Start date
peanutbutter12
Senior Veteran
If they are of legal age (18 in the US), then nothing legal can go on as long as the girl is ok with what is going on. However, it will also create a lot of strain within the relationship between the girl, her family, and the guy which is never a good thing to have.
I'm always amazed how many couples have issues with in-laws. It's really sad. My in-laws are great and we love spending time with them. I wouldn't want it any other way and it really shouldn't be any other way. It would just add more unneeded stress in life and strain between my wife and myself.
I'm always amazed how many couples have issues with in-laws. It's really sad. My in-laws are great and we love spending time with them. I wouldn't want it any other way and it really shouldn't be any other way. It would just add more unneeded stress in life and strain between my wife and myself.
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When a woman is of age (18), she is supposed to be free to choose who she marries with no legal reprecussions from parents. Although this is true, it is good to discuss the situation. A woman's parent's, if there is a close bond there, will often know their daughter best after many years of raising but at 18, 19...or even 23, she still may not be fully wordly and may be perhaps a little naive. Does the father have good reason to council his daughter against marriage to a certain man?
A parent I feel, should not prohibit a proposition, even if they are against it, it is a woman's right to choose when of age. If she declines the proposition, it will be okay for that father. If she accepts, a family discussion should take place as to the reasons why a father would have a problem to which she should pay careful attention to.
A parent I feel, should not prohibit a proposition, even if they are against it, it is a woman's right to choose when of age. If she declines the proposition, it will be okay for that father. If she accepts, a family discussion should take place as to the reasons why a father would have a problem to which she should pay careful attention to.
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well, if the son asks the dad to marry the daughter, and the dad says no, and he does it anyway, then it sounds like the son goes to jail for incest, because it sounds like they're brother and sister.
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ImperialPhantom
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I started to give the awkward question to my now-father-in-law with the ol' nervous speech, and he grinned and gave me body language that said "I know what you're going to ask, ask it, you'll like my answer!" and he said yes! Good thing too - he's a big strong guy who I wouldn't mess with. His shoulders are about 1 1/2 times as wide as mine.
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well, if her dad says no, if he doesn't want her to be married yet, then wait, if he doesn't like her boyfriend, the boyfriend should respect her dad and end the relationship.
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LOL, the bf should end the relationship solely based on the dad's decision?
Sorry, but in the real world, everyone should lead their own lives and make their own choices. Marriage and ending a relationship should be because the Man or Women decide to; it has nothing to do with the parents.
For this reason, man/women shall leave their parents and become one.
A romantic relationship is about the two people involved, and no one else. It is THEIR life, not anyone else's. You marry because of real true love, and you end relationships because one or both parties are not in love.
Ever read Romeo and Juliette? Those two made their own choices in life, not letting others (their families) live for them.
The entire story isn't about what Romeo and Juliette should have done, but what both families should have done.
You can't stop two people when they're truly in love. You can't control someone else's life, regardless if they're your daughter, son, or family member. All you can do is learn to accept other's choices in life and show unconditional love and acceptance, as God REQUIRES.
It is time for old fashion oppressive culture to die and make room for reality. Aggressively trying to control your children only causes yourself destruction, shows hatred instead of unconditional love, and brings unneeded stress, and a lot of pain on your children.
I'm so glad I live in the U.S.A. instead of some of these oppressive culture countries where the "father" has aggressive and oppressive control over their children. I never fully realized how honored and grateful we all should be for living in a free country like the U.S.A. We are not just free because the government doesn't restrict us a lot, but we are free because society has liberated itself, mostly anyways, from a lot of oppressive and contrlling culture that is under the guise of "old fashion".
Romeo Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo?
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K9_Trainer
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There is nothing a father can do to end his daughters relationship, whether he approves of it or not.
Women are not property, they are human beings responsible for their own lives and making their own decisions, and those decisions should be respected and supported by family. Although unfortunately, that isn't always the case and that's when problems arise with in laws.
My dad does not expect my boyfriend to ask him for "permission" before he proposes because it's not his decision to make, it's mine.
Women are not property, they are human beings responsible for their own lives and making their own decisions, and those decisions should be respected and supported by family. Although unfortunately, that isn't always the case and that's when problems arise with in laws.
My dad does not expect my boyfriend to ask him for "permission" before he proposes because it's not his decision to make, it's mine.
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TheDerek
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I know it's not quite the same, but...
Lisa wanted me to ask her dad for permisson to date/court her. She wanted her parents blessing before we started up our relationship. I was sooooo nervous. I mean, man, I was just nervous. But I did it. And he said yes.
Lisa and I had breifly talked about what would happen if he said no. Her response was: "Well, then we wait." That was my response, kind of. While I would have respected him, I would have wanted Lisa, him and I to sit down and talk about why he said no. To help me understand. Luckily it didn't come to that.
Lisa wanted me to ask her dad for permisson to date/court her. She wanted her parents blessing before we started up our relationship. I was sooooo nervous. I mean, man, I was just nervous. But I did it. And he said yes.
Lisa and I had breifly talked about what would happen if he said no. Her response was: "Well, then we wait." That was my response, kind of. While I would have respected him, I would have wanted Lisa, him and I to sit down and talk about why he said no. To help me understand. Luckily it didn't come to that.
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ImperialPhantom
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She's a grown woman who can make her own decisions. A dad can give his advice and counsel on it, yes, but if she's legally an adult and especially if she lives away from the parents, she can make her own decisions about it.
I know my wife's dad would have rolled his eyes if I asked him for permission to DATE his daughter. The women in my wife's family are independent and strong-willed, and I think he takes pride in that.
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a woman is under her father's authority until she's married, so therefore, her father has the ONLY opinion that matters
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katautumn
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Seriously? So you view a woman as a piece of collateral that belongs to her father and then contracted over to her husband on the wedding day? She isn't free to make her own decisions about what to wear, where to attend church, where to go to college and who to love?
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ImperialPhantom
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So what if you end up dating a girl whose father is 1) dead, or 2) not someone she has a good relationship with?
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Unbroken
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1] The will of the father is irrelevant then, of course.
2] That can be a tricky subject. The Bible does say "Respect thy father and mother", and we should respect their wishes, but at the same time, some fathers act without Scripture, or in opposition to Scripture, and complications arise.
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