Sometimes it's not that complicated.

[mjmcmillan]

Every now and then I run across something like the following piece. Last time, it was in Dave Barry's writings, today it's on a humor website that I frequent. There's a lot of truth wrapped up in this, though. Women have a tendency to put themselves through the wringer thinking constantly about the relationship, men are thinking about--- lunch. Any ideas?

 

[dayhiker]

That is good.

 

[scraparcs]

That's so true sometimes! (Other times, not so much.)

 

[Bridgit]

The example given, IMO, is an exaggeration, at least for me.

However, I find it funny that you guys don't see anything wrong with the guy's attitude.

 

[Life2Christ]

However, I find it funny that you guys don't see anything wrong with the guy's attitude.

LOL. Yeah, I thought the same. I was like what is wrong with this guy. But I know it is supposed to be a humourous piece.

 

[mjmcmillan]

What is wrong with the guy? What is wrong with the gal? Same answer: Lack of communication. The guy has a problem with his motorcycle, he has not communicated with his GF, so she begins to imagine the worst: He's got another GF and they're about to break up! He has no idea she's thinking this, and has no intention of breaking up-- nor does he have another GF-- but since neither one is communicating with the other, how can either know?

Alright, I'm going to spell it out-- again, because I'm aware that it's been said before: Men are not mind-readers. We can't know what's going down unless you tell us.

Women aren't very good at mind-reading either, even though many of them think they're closet psychics. You think you know what your man is thinking, and you guess wrong. Worse, I've had it happen so often it's not funny-- you guess he's thinking the absolute worst. So, what's wrong with the guy? He didn't say "Honey, the problem is my motorcycle won't start and I don't know why". I think that might have helped-- then again, maybe not.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

If he would have said what was on his mind, then the woman would have been like "all he ever cares about is that stupid motorcycle, he never thinks about ME!"

 

[Bridgit]

What is wrong with the guy? What is wrong with the gal? Same answer: Lack of communication. The guy has a problem with his motorcycle, he has not communicated with his GF, so she begins to imagine the worst: He's got another GF and they're about to break up! He has no idea she's thinking this, and has no intention of breaking up-- nor does he have another GF-- but since neither one is communicating with the other, how can either know?

Alright, I'm going to spell it out-- again, because I'm aware that it's been said before: Men are not mind-readers. We can't know what's going down unless you tell us.

Women aren't very good at mind-reading either, even though many of them think they're closet psychics. You think you know what your man is thinking, and you guess wrong. Worse, I've had it happen so often it's not funny-- you guess he's thinking the absolute worst. So, what's wrong with the guy? He didn't say "Honey, the problem is my motorcycle won't start and I don't know why". I think that might have helped-- then again, maybe not.

Miscommunication or even non-communication is the problem here, on both sides. That is a big problem when in a relationship. For any man who finds it difficult or a bother to communicate, might as well he stays single.

Relation = communication. I can just imagine the state of the relationship of any man with God if there is not communication! It works the same with human relationships.

 

[mjmcmillan]

If he would have said what was on his mind, then the woman would have been like "all he ever cares about is that stupid motorcycle, he never thinks about ME!"

You'd be surprised how often that happens. Then again, maybe not. It IS one reason men go mute about what's on their minds.

 

[memoriesbymichelle]

You'd be surprised how often that happens. Then again, maybe not. It IS one reason men go mute about what's on their minds.

Nope not surprised. I'm not one of those kinds of women but still.....I'm not surprised at all. I also think men communicate when and if someone can help them fix the problem because men are generally "fixers" and women communicate sometimes just to get the thoughts out of their heads . So a man wouldn't tell his woman necessarily "hey my bike won't start and I don't know why" because he already knows SHE can't help him. And likewise when we women vent we don't want our man (or anyone really) to "solve" our problem, we just need to get it out there so we can further analyze it and talk thru it.

 

[iambren]

In life I've concluded that women just worry more. I think they mull over the enormous amount of details that they have to juggle; they dig little things. Some men are anal and will turn things over but even THEY won't deal in the emotional complexities like a woman will do.

Be creative and add to my little list, women must deal with periods, worry about the effects of pregnancy, figure what type/size bra to wear, coordinate an outfit, pick colors with funny names for lipstick, makeup, chose among the gazillion shoes to wear, mascara running, negotiate all nuances not just with men but how to relate or not offend women also.

Most men would have an emotional breakdown before the got out of the door!

 

[BigMat]

I get it. I've got a single track mind. If I'm trying to figure out something in my head the rest of the world tends to blur out and fade into the background.

About four or five years ago, I pulled into a gas station to get a couple of soda pops. My stress level was running pretty high so my mind was already preoccupied. It was raining and my windshield wipers were on. When I switched them off they didn't stop running. I switched off the ignition and they still kept running. I messed with the switch for a little bit and finally got them to turn off.

I went inside, my mind fully focused on what was wrong with the wipers and how I was going to fix them so that I could finish out the rest of my busy day driving around in the rain. I got the soda pops, went back out to the car and proceeded to try to figure out what the problem was. I must have sat there ten minutes fiddling around with the wipers before some dude walked up to the car and knocked on my window. I opened the door to see what was up.

The clerk had sent him out to see if I was going to pay for the sodas or if she needed to call the cops and report a robbery. I took me a little bit before I realized that I hadn't paid for anything. Apparently I had walked right in front of the cashier with the sodas and out the door, all while she tried repeatedly to get my attention. I never heard her. My brain was focused solely on fixing the windshield wipers.

I went inside and paid for the soda pops, feeling like a total idiot. Part of the problem was that I had been in that gas station dozens of times over the years to do the same exact thing, buy a couple of soda pops. Walking out the front door with a couple of Mountain Dews in hand didn't feel like anything out of the ordinary.

Granted, I'm not as bad as the dude in the example. If I had a wife and she asked me what the deal was I would tell her about the motorcycle, that is if she could manage to derail my current train of thought.

 

[dayhiker]

Great story, Mat