Some men are jut weird

[Aino]

OK, so I just need to vent about this. Some of you might have realized that I date someone right now and we've been together for a while now so everyone knows... Like we've met each other's parents and all. Anyways, what bothers me is that there's a guy who's constantly trying to get to spend time with me and talks to me all the time. Well all right, it's OK to talk to and hang with other guys too as long as it's casual and you don't get too deep. I also know he knows about my boyfriend because I've told him and he said he's not into me; he just thinks it's fun talking to me.

But really, he wants to meet me one-on-one more then once a week and is upset if I just don't have time for him. The worst thing he's suggested was taking me to Sweden for a weekend on the boat - in a 2-person cabin and a 2-bed room "so we could have our peace". So I said that was just not OK with me and that I wouldn't want to bend anyone else's trust for me.. And you could see he was frustrated and upset about it but then he claimed later that he understood and apologized. Well now he wants to take me camping with a couple of other friends. The deal is just that I need to invite mine because he doesn't want to invite someone and then have to hang out with them and not me... So now I'm supposed to invite people over to the forest fr the weekend with me so me and the guy wouldn't officially do anything considered cheating but then not hang out with them? LOL I'm not sure if he really thinks there's a difference at all...

And I'd like to believe he's innocent and just tries to be good friends but then what the heck is this? Can someone seriously be so ignorant about stuff that goes on around them or is he trying to get me?

 

[Andrew12]

Aino,
It sounds to me as if this guy is not being totally honest with you. I would caution you to be wary of his intentions and to pray about it.

 

[tapi]

Hmm. Sounds weird LoL. It's hard to analyze the situation without more info, but from how you described the whole situation it certainly seems that he's out to get you.


If you and him go way back and have been close friends for very long, it could be that he fears that your friendship would suffer / cease to exist because of your boyfriend and that relationship taking priority in your social life.

These are just total assumptions but it could be that he's kinda trying to win you over from your current bf by trying to spend all this time with you, especially in private like the boat trip. I'd take some distance from him while maintaining a friendly/neutral disposition. Situations like this are hard though, good luck

 

[Lena75]

Tell him you're taken and he needs to get his own girlfriend. He may know that you have a boyfriend but sometimes it takes an in-your-face approach, tell him point blank, then maybe he'll click. And yes, they do like to act ignorant like this.

 

[Mrs. Luther073082]

Stop hanging out with him. He's not going to respect your relationship.

 

[Speculative]

These are just total assumptions but it could be that he's kinda trying to win you over from your current bf by trying to spend all this time with you, especially in private like the boat trip. I'd take some distance from him while maintaining a friendly/neutral disposition. Situations like this are hard though, good luck

Yeah, that's exactly what he's doing. Taking a trip to Sweden on the boat is for more than just friends.

 

[stormdancer0]

Look at it this way.

How would you feel if your boyfriend came to you and told you that a woman wanted him to take the same trip, and asked how you felt about it?

 

[Nilla]

Hey girl... get rid of that guy. Tell him to stop it plain and simple and hang ouit with other friends.

 

[Perhaps Today]

I think this guy wants you. I don't think it matters to him that you already have a boyfriend. My advice would be stay away from him. You need to protect yourself, and not be put in a position that this guy seems to be using to undermine your current relationship.

 

[Weak&Loved]

Sounds like a situation that my friend is having right now, except the guy admits that he's madly in love with her. I would personally say to tell him that you can't hangout with him anymore (or just keep your distance), and if he doesn't respond to that so well, then that's something he'll have to deal with.

 

[Aino]

Well I know it sounds weird but to me he mostly just seems like a bit of a socially not-too-clever person... And while I don't want him acting that way regardless of whether he wants me or not I don't want to be rude to him either... :/

 

[FaithPrevails]

Hey girl... get rid of that guy. Tell him to stop it plain and simple and hang ouit with other friends.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Well I know it sounds weird but to me he mostly just seems like a bit of a socially not-too-clever person... And while I don't want him acting that way regardless of whether he wants me or not I don't want to be rude to him either... :/

If you have told him plainly that you aren't comfortable with the idea of hanging out the way he is suggesting and he is still not respecting that boundary, it is NOT rude to create a stronger boundary with him. There are some people who simply don't "get it" and need a stronger response. That doesn't mean you're being rude - it means you are standing up for yourself. Big difference.

 

[Aino]

Whew, I think I just did the hardest part... :o I sent him a message that I'm not going to the forest with him LOL and that I'm not interested in a movie right now and that it bothers me when he calls me sweetie. Hmm, let's see what happens...

 

[stormdancer0]

Tell him you'd be glad to go with him. When can you and your boyfriend come, because you love him and would never go without him. When he asks you to a movie, tell him that you and your boyfriend would love to join him for a double date.

 

[Aino]

Tell him you'd be glad to go with him. When can you and your boyfriend come, because you love him and would never go without him. When he asks you to a movie, tell him that you and your boyfriend would love to join him for a double date.

Ha, well actually now even I see that he's been trying something all the time... I once told him he could join me on a bigger event if he wanted to and the second he found out that my boyfriend was going to be there he said no.

 

[Perhaps Today]

Ha, well actually now even I see that he's been trying something all the time... I once told him he could join me on a bigger event if he wanted to and the second he found out that my boyfriend was going to be there he said no.

That says a lot about his motives. I'd avoid him at all costs if I were you.

 

[FaithPrevails]

Whew, I think I just did the hardest part... :o I sent him a message that I'm not going to the forest with him LOL and that I'm not interested in a movie right now and that it bothers me when he calls me sweetie. Hmm, let's see what happens...

Any response yet?

 

[FaithPrevails]

That says a lot about his motives. I'd avoid him at all costs if I were you.

Truer words were never spoken! And...they came from a man, so you know he's right about the guy's motives.

 

[Aino]

Any response yet?

Oh a long angsty Facebook message that intended to make me feel guilty. I responded with another long and angry message and haven't gotten anything back yet