Some help and prayer please...

[forgiveable]

It has been a very trying week with many tears shed. Frustrated that I cry at the smallest things and yet they are things that I believe will have a ripple effect in eternity. The smallest of things that before all of this I would have taken for granted. How big my son looks, how beautiful my daughter is.. Will they remember me as a loving mom. How much condemnation I felt as it is now wearing away. I can't help but wonder if the meds are maybe not strong enough. My dreams haven't been normal for quite some time.
I feel as though I should be changing the world.. Praying more..
Sometimes I feel as though God is close and at other times as though He is so far away.
I literally hang on to passages of scriptures like life lines.
That's what they are... Life
The intrusive thoughts I am glad to say are much less and that is a small miracle in itself.
~BRandi

 

[Jayangel81]

It has been a very trying week with many tears shed. Frustrated that I cry at the smallest things and yet they are things that I believe will have a ripple effect in eternity. The smallest of things that before all of this I would have taken for granted. How big my son looks, how beautiful my daughter is.. Will they remember me as a loving mom. How much condemnation I felt as it is now wearing away. I can't help but wonder if the meds are maybe not strong enough. My dreams haven't been normal for quite some time.
I feel as though I should be changing the world.. Praying more..
Sometimes I feel as though God is close and at other times as though He is so far away.
I literally hang on to passages of scriptures like life lines.
That's what they are... Life
The intrusive thoughts I am glad to say are much less and that is a small miracle in itself.
~BRandi

Keep holding onto those scriptures. It is what we need to hold onto most of all especially during these trying times.

Will keep you in my prayers

 

[kaykay9.0]

Praying for you, forgiveable! Hang in there, girl. The Lord loves you.

 

[BeccaLynn]

Brandi,

I go through cycles it seems where I can cry so easily, and at the tiniest thing too! My son will actually ask me if I'm crying again because I'll start getting choked up when I'm talking. I know you mentioned about your dreams too. When I was on an anti-depressant, my dreams were absolutely wacky! I don't tend to dream much, or at least I just don't remember my dreams, when I'm not taking anything. As far as crying goes, when I took anti-depressants, they actually caused me to pretty much feel unable to cry. Each person is different though and meds do different things to different people. I often feel as if God is far away. Sometimes it depends on what's going on in my life, whether I'm feeling really guilty about something, what my emotional state of mind is, etc. I have always tended to connect feelings with reality, which can really feed those feelings of God seeming so far away. I'm learning more and more to not give those feelings so much thought. Maybe you should mention to your doctor about what's going on and see what he/she thinks.

Love,
Rebecca

 

[Yuki Usagi]

It has been a very trying week with many tears shed. Frustrated that I cry at the smallest things and yet they are things that I believe will have a ripple effect in eternity. The smallest of things that before all of this I would have taken for granted. How big my son looks, how beautiful my daughter is.. Will they remember me as a loving mom. How much condemnation I felt as it is now wearing away. I can't help but wonder if the meds are maybe not strong enough. My dreams haven't been normal for quite some time.
I feel as though I should be changing the world.. Praying more..
Sometimes I feel as though God is close and at other times as though He is so far away.
I literally hang on to passages of scriptures like life lines.
That's what they are... Life
The intrusive thoughts I am glad to say are much less and that is a small miracle in itself.
~BRandi

Heb 13:5b: ...he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee.
Mat 28:20b: ...and, lo, I am with you alway, [even] unto the end of the world. Amen.

He will always be with you, even if it feels He isn't. I hope you get better. <--for you