Some Guidance Please?

[Ryokeen]

Many of you know I've known my Girlfriend for 5 months now and that we've ALWAYS shared just about everything with eachother. From memories and painful times to silly stuff like us being crazy and what not. I think that's one of the reasons we're together. We aren't very open people but with eachtoher we are. Anyways, I asked her if I could tell people about this and she was fine with it.

Bassically up until yesterday her dad was been having an affair, even when the whole family found out, he stayed married to his wife and had the affair. Yeah, she was devisated, her mom was heart broken and her two little brothers were so very confused, being young.

Now yesterday he claimed that he broke up with her. We're not completely sure that's how it went( but we're trsuting and hoping it is), and now ontop of all this, Chelsi (my girlfriend) is worried that maybe her dad is just using her mom as a fall back option. Now understand she's never had the best relationship with him. When she was younger he got slightly abusive with her, not horribly but slightly. Now I can tell by how she acts from time to time, that she's mentally abused about somethings. Like school, She feels as though she'll never be good enough. Keep in mind she makes all A's. 4.0GPA.

Right now she just doesn't know what to do at all. She's not very strong in the Faith but she's getting better. God's using me to draw her closer to Him I believe. He got her to open a Bible and thinking about it. He got her to fast, pray and to think. I know that without God none of that would have happend so I give Him full credit or I try, we all know that's a little hard sometimes.

There's this book I have that I felt would truely help her. "The Power of a Praying Teen." I talked to her about it and she said she'd be very interested in reading it. So Today I'm going to give it to her. That book is very strong and helped me figure out a lot in my life.

My question is other than being there for her and supporting her emotionally, treating her right, and just making her laugh from time to time is there anything else I should be doing? Ofcourse I pray for her whenever I get a chance.

Thanks!
-Aaron
P.s. If you would like to pray for her, feel free to. Thank you!

 

[heartnsoul]

It's wonderful that you are doing everything you can to be her emotional support, however, one person will never be able to sufficiently meet all the needs of the other. It's very important for both of you to expand your circle of friends. Your girlfriend needs a group of strong, Christian female friends that she can bond with as well. Likewise, you need a group of strong Christian men to hang out with sometimes too. AND...both of you should try to find other Christian couples to have fun with. I recommend that both of you go searching for a large church that has a big youth group so you can find some good friends and participate in bible studies together.

Many young people (including myself when I was younger) tend to fall into the trap of isolating themselves from others and not taking the time to strengthen their spiritual walk and develop meaningful Christian friendships. Both of you are still very very young. No need to rush into anything permanent or serious like marriage. Take this opportunity to grow, learn and enjoy life. Friendships are a blessing and joy to those who have them. May God bless both of you with peace, comfort and friendships.

 

[A2597]

Hello!

I'm in somewhat of the same situation, my Girlfriend is very obviously abused at home.

The main things I do to help her are be there for her, let her talk, console her, and try to build up her self image, self worth, and self esteem.
As you noted, abuse tends to lead people to feel very insecure about themselves (Her getting a 4.0 GPA and feeling like she isn't doing well being an example) I just try to encurage her the best I can.

Another thing is try to talk about God, as my Girlfriends faith has strengthend, I've noticed she's been better able to cope with what she has to go through at home, and try to maintain a positive outlook. Whereas before it brought her to the point of tears, now she just gets a little aggervated that her parents are like this and deals with the situations as they arise.

I'd say, just keep doing what your doing, and make certain to keep God first in your relationship. Also remember that anything that happens is Gods doing, and what he does, last alot longer and is alot better then anything we can do. Don't fall into thinking that you alone are helping her, just let God work through you.
(I speak from experiance on the last bit...)