Social Anxiety

[bomichaels]

Does anyone else struggle with Social Anxiety? When I'm out in public I'm not sure how I should act? I went to the gym today and I'm constantly wondering what others think of me. I don't even want to talk or look at anyone out of fear of looking like a fool. The thought of talking to others scares me since I might mess up the conversation. I wish I could just be at the normal line where everyone else is. I hate that being Bipolar creates so many other sub-problems. Where does the Bipolar end and myself as a person begins? I'm frightened because I can't seem to know the difference.

Please don't advise with Scripture and how God loves me. I know that and I've read the bible over many times. I know my place with God and salvation. I know He loves me and will get me through. However, even Paul needed companions to talk with and work out his suffering and doubt. Sometimes people have to live with thorns until their dead too.

Please only respond with your personal struggles with this and how you cope practically. Thanks.

 

[locket77]

hey im new here and just read your post, I know exactly how you feel, i have been there myself and had a lot of rejection because i have let my anxiety rule, i left church for 4 years because I could nt socialize properly that was before i was medicated. In that four years i had alot of healing in this area, for some reason i met someone in that time that could deal with me being so screwed up and i just had to socialize with him and primerily his mom, it was horrendouse my mind was just filled with fear and anxiety i jsut thought that i must come across so crazy, but for some reason they accepted me it took me four years to build a relationship were i now feel comfortable but it really took me massively out of my comfort zone, in that time period i got medicated and feel alot more in control now but then i really didnt, i was just expecting rejection, because my emotions were so out of control. I dont think i delt with it very well but i did have support and i could talk through my paranoia about what people must think of me, until i realized it was rubbish, it took quite a few years but im better not perfect but more easily able to deal with what i think because i have a more positive basis now of how i feel and think about myself, it has helped majorly being treated. I have recently returned to the church and what i have learned is being severley tested and im very scared and pray inside my head when i speak to people that i wont mess it up, im socially inadequate, and i can be nervouse but sometimes im not and the more i do it the better im gonna get, i hope its very scarey and vulnerable but i felt like god told me to go back, so im trusting him that i can do it. I hope this helps.

 

[Soulwings]

Hey there... you sound a lot like me, or how I used to be a few years ago. I have social anxiety as well, and am on meds for it (Neurontin [gabapentin] and Klonopin [clonazepam]) which help a lot. However, a few years back I was not diagnosed with an anxiety disorder, and struggled a lot with being the shyest kid in my department (I'm a 6th year college senior so that would've been when I was a freshie/soph). I still have difficulty in striking up conversations with people, but it's easier now that I have meds and am a little more in control of my life - when I was a freshman/sophomore things were really bad for me; I had an out-of-control eating disorder, hadn't been treated much for bipolar (hadn't even been diagnosed yet), was self injuring a lot, nearly every day... the list goes on. Now I've been in therapy for 4+ years and have been treated in many different ways for my illness(es) (meds, ECT, hospitalizations, therapy, and a residential center for my ED), and feel more in control of my life and how I function than I did then.

I hope I'm making some sense here, because I feel like I'm just rambling. In sum, I think a large part of it was me feeling out of control of my life... and also, in between then and now, I met and got to know the man who is now my husband really well, and he encouraged me and supported me through my ups and downs. He is really an amazing guy... refuses to leave me even though I know his life would be MUCH easier without living with a bipolar woman who struggles with self hatred to the extent I do!! But thankfully he and I both believe that marriage = forever. So I don't need to get anxious about that. Haha. But back to the question... I think that that (self hatred) also plays a part in social anxiety... I hate myself so much, think I'm such an awful person, that I expect other people to think the same thing, so I don't even want to risk getting to know them. Does that make sense?

Anyway, God bless you, friend, and I will be praying for you. Feel free to stop by the coffee shop thread - that's where most of the fellowshipping gets done here on this board, and there is a group of wonderful and accepting people there. Take care of yourself.

 

[Biker Angel]

Does anyone else struggle with Social Anxiety? When I'm out in public I'm not sure how I should act? I went to the gym today and I'm constantly wondering what others think of me. I don't even want to talk or look at anyone out of fear of looking like a fool. The thought of talking to others scares me since I might mess up the conversation. I wish I could just be at the normal line where everyone else is. I hate that being Bipolar creates so many other sub-problems. Where does the Bipolar end and myself as a person begins? I'm frightened because I can't seem to know the difference.

Please don't advise with Scripture and how God loves me. I know that and I've read the bible over many times. I know my place with God and salvation. I know He loves me and will get me through. However, even Paul needed companions to talk with and work out his suffering and doubt. Sometimes people have to live with thorns until their dead too.

Please only respond with your personal struggles with this and how you cope practically. Thanks.

Hey brother, I wrote a long thing to you yesterday, but just then
this whole site crashed and it was lost. I told you that I too am
not very good with talking to people live (face to face) and that
when I am depressed like now it gets worse. But when I am manic
I get aggressive and just want to kill everyone. For me there is
a big difference between manic and depression when it comes to
dealing with humanity. Are you depressed or manic when it happens
to you?

 

[Brinmar]

April - you make perfect sense. I think we've all been there.

I had REALLY bad social anxiety till recently (and I work in Radio!! - tough). Becoming Manic helped me overcome social situations. I talk a lot now and it doesn't matter who I'm talking with - I just chatter on, and on. It works! Then just recently, on my trip home from taking my oldest daughter to college (8 hour drive). I spent the time in prayer. (Had to because of all the endless miles of road construction and detours). I felt very close to the Lord - the closest I've ever felt. When I got home - I realized that I had been healed of a lot of "stuff". I no longer suffer from memories and my anxiety (all kinds) had just gone away. Still BP, but have been encouraged to keep on praying for even more healing.

Biker - just a note - my first husband was the kind of manic that you have. The kind that made him feel like "killing" everybody. He's in depression cycle now too - I'm praying for you - depression. Anything else I can add to the list???

Heidi

 

[BlondieLashes]

I too have social anxiety and if you knew my past you would probably not believe that I have it. I used to be the type that could go anywhere and do anything...literally anything. Now just to get out of the house takes courage... I am not sure how bipolar mixes with the social anxiety, but it seems like a lot of us here struggle with it as well.

 

[Nikki1445]

Lord I come before you today asking for everlasting peace for my brothers and sisters in Christ that struggle with social anxiety. Lord your word says that "the fear of man will prove to be snare, but whoever trusts in the Lord is kept safe"- Proverbs 29:25 Heavenly father, you did not give us the spirit of fear, but the spirit of power, of love, and and a sound mind. God, keep your word in the forefront of our thoughts, that we may meditate on it daily. I declare healing over each and every one of us. Thank you Lord for your grace and for your mercy. In Jesus name...Amen.
I know I'm super late on this post but I wanted to pray for you guys. I have struggled with social anxiety my entire life. As a child, I was bullied and rejected by many of my peers. Over time I allowed the spirit of rejection to manifest itself inside of me. I didnt feel worthy of anything, and I began to place my value in how many people accepted me. Over time I grew more and more scared to speak, almost as if I had lost my voice. I didnt want to give anyone a reason not to like me. I ignored the idea that I struggled with social anxiety for so many years by just choosing not to go anywhere and using my seclusion as a defense. I thought, if I didnt go anywhere, I would lower the risk of me making a fool of myself by trying to communicate and fumbling over my words, or my mind drawing a blank and not knowing what to say. Only now, as an adult, I've come to realize, this is exactly what the devil wanted me to do, to not trust God, and to shy away from everything. Guys remember what Jeremiah 29:11 says..."for I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Understand that God loves us so much and that he would never lead us astray. I couldn't agree more with what istandbyjesus said in another post....the more you care about what Christ thinks, the less you will care about the judgement of man. Once you make the decision to follow Christ, Jesus takes the throne in your life and the opinions of people become irrelevant. God has an amazing plan for each of our lives. Don't allow yourself to miss out because of fear of people. When you pray, start asking God to take over your thoughts as you think and your voice as you speak. God gave each of us a unique voice. Who are we to allow anything or anyone take that away from us. If you're like me, I had trouble for a long time expressing myself clearly and concisely. I felt like I knew what I wanted to say, but didn't have the words, only later on I found out that I did have the words, but I was just too scared about how I would sound when they came out, and that fear crippled me. Other times, I would get in social settings and not know what to say. I would be too worried about, "well what if this person doesn't like what I choose to talk about or thinks I'm too boring" I read into facial expressions, feedback, and social cues WAY TOO MUCH! Any one of you that is still struggling with this, I encourage you to start declaring over yourself every day and magnifying what God says about you (ex. I am far from oppression and fear does not come near me- Isaiah 54:14, I have the mind of christ- 1 Corinthians 2:16, I am complete in him who is the head of all principality and power-Colossians 2:10) I've learned that the more you meditate on God's word, especially if it's in the area of something you have been struggling with, eventually, the situation will break in your favor. The devil will no longer have a hold on you because you know the truth. Let God's word be your confidence and your foundation. I've made a decision that I refuse to continue to live my life with anxiety in social situations...our purpose in life is not to please people, our purpose in life is to love people, and to use our gifts and talents that God has given us to serve and to bless others. I declare favor over each and every one of you. God Bless

 

[Greg J.]

I got jolts from the Holy Spirit when I started reading the first sentence and as I finished the last sentence. Thank you for your kind and loving post!