So much pain...

[heavenzkiss]

Hey, I'm new here and in need of some major help, I've tried everything but this pain isn't leaving.
I've gone through many things in my life, doctors that I've talked to about it don't understand why I'm not dead(if you want this explained you can message me about it all). Anyway, I've recently lost the two things that have kept me going, God and my boyfriend. Lately I have been having problems trusting and believing in God, I mean I do believe in Him but alot of the time my mind races with questions like how can He allow me and everyone else to be in pain, I'm scared I've lost Him, I try so hard to get rid of those thoughts but they just stay with me.
My boyfriend and I have been going out for nearly two years and his mom just now decides that she doesn't want him to ever talk to me again, we have had to go long dis. for about a year so we defently aren't going to get to talk again until he turns 18(3yrs) he promised me that everything would work out and that we will be togther again even if he has to wait that long(I would like to tell some one about me and him and get an opion on this whole thing). The reason I'm here is because after losing God and my boyfriend you can guess how much pain I'm in, I have no friends or anyone else to turn too and this broken heart of mine is killing me. Lately I have been having thoughts of suicide, I don't want to do anything like that but yet I do. I'm just so scared right now and don't know what to do. A broken heart has to be the worst pain on earth and it's the pain I get the most. I'm very sorry this is so long but I had to get every word of it off my chest so I could at least breathe and maybe find some hope. The only escape I have had for awhile is music & poetry. If anyone here can help me out then please do because I can't stand being in this pain any longer.

 

[koban4max]

Hey there,
I read your post. I'm sorry to hear about your problem. Look, I'm going to be straight real with you, okay? SO, what I say..please don't take it personally.

Now:
You really to wake up from a nightmare...seriously. I used to think about suicide because I lost someone important to me. You need to really focus on God. THe problem with you is that you don't really have faith. I know you want to escape...but you know what? THat's not the answer. You better face your problem. You know...you true purpose is not to have a bf or whatever. IT's about turn you head to god and trust him. THings happens for a reason. Maybe you and him were apart because you weren't meant to be with him..and I don't think God is going to send you an another man or return to your old bf till you truely are prepared spiritually with GOd. You are only 17...dang, no offense but you got lot growing up to do..you need to mature. When you suffer, that is actually a good thing...because you need to turn to god for help. He may not answer you prayer...but he listened to you. He knows you...he made you. He ain't gonna give it to you till the time is right. You got it? I don't like to sound mean..but i'm giving the truth...and you need to stop wimpering and stay strong. I've been through hell and GOd saved me. You would imagine what it's like to have "final destination" on me every single day. I almost got killed the other day by having the gate closed up on me. I thank god for saving me. YOu need to learn to appreciate God.
SO, wake UP and smell the coffee. You got to fullfill the lord's plan that he made for you. You need that attitude of "I don't care" and learn to trust GOd.

peace.

 

[heavenzkiss]

"THe problem with you is that you don't really have faith."
I know that, and my other problem is that I don't know how to get faith

 

[koban4max]

"THe problem with you is that you don't really have faith."
I know that, and my other problem is that I don't know how to get faith

Faith...to believe..
You have a hard time of trusting...but you will in time.
in time..you will see...
BUt try.

 

[Desert_pea]

Hi there. I'm sorry you are going through this. I am feeling the same way having broken up with my boyfriend of 3 years just recently. The pain is horrible isn't it but you must go on. Things will get better I promise, just don't give up. I am only just starting to feel a little more positive about my life and its been nearlly 3 months. I still cry everyday and pine for my ex but I am trying to accept that we weren't meant to be. I still love him so much though which makes it so much harder. You havent lost God though. He is always there, he is always near you and loves you so much.

I'll be praying for you,

Dani

 

[TheWinterGaze]

You havent lost God though. He is always there, he is always near you and loves you so much.

Heavenzkiss,

Yes, God is always here and always near you. His eyes have not been leaving you for a moment! He will not let your foot slip. He who watches over you will not doze or fall asleep! He watches over you. He guards your very life. He sees your hurt, and He weeps with you! He does not delight in seeing people suffer. He who is so BIG and mighty loves you so much. He hates all the evils and wrongs being done to you, that leave you in pain - because He love His creation so much. And you are His creation. You are His workmanship. You were made in His image. You are fearfully and wonderfully made.

These are some of the truths about who our God is, how He feels about you, how He sees you, (and it is difficult during hard times when we are so low that we do not feel like they are the truths... When you were asking what faith is, it is about believing the truths, and those truths we cannot yet seen with our eyes, or difficult to feel with our hearts when we are feeling so low. (I virtually got mad with God when I am very down, but we can be honest with Him and tell him your feelings - He is much bigger than we think and can handle our emotions)

Believe me, you have not lost God because He simply wouldn't let you go or desert you as an orphan. This is His promise! I'll remember you in my prayers. Be brave, Heavenzkiss. You are His Child...

WG