Sleeping with a bed hog

[GirlieGirl]

Maybe it's because it's the wee hours of the morning and I can't sleep which is making me just a little bit irked. Maybe it's that every last part of my body has decided to scream in pain because of that time of the month and I'm feeling a delightful combination of headache, sniffles, naseau, and radiating pain throughout my back, tummy and hips. Yes, I'm in quite the mood...but I digress...

I'm a typical suburban woman with a terrible nighttime secret- I sleep with a bed hog. No, scratch that. I sleep with the human steam roller. Why a human steamroller, you ask? Because nearly each night at around 2 or 3am, my husband starts to fuss in bed and will plow his way right over my side and into me. Miraculously (Praise Jesus!), I've been able to adapt and sleep on a record width of roughly 20 inches on my back and even less on my side. Yes, I actually got up and measured one time after hubby protested "I don't hog the bed that much!".

But tonight is different. Tonight I feel miserable and that man decided it was time to evict me from the bed again. It starts with a nudge. Then an arm gets thrown over...and if it lands across me just right, it feels like he's hugging me which I kinda like. And then he starts to roll. Since I'm half asleep and don't have my wits about me, I recoil to edge and let the steamroller have his way. He's doing this all subconciously (maybe that should make me worry?), but nonetheless, he's doing it. Tonight, I was already awake due to my miserable state. Too many glasses of water last night so I staggered to bathroom...only to retun to find out that my little sleeping man has flopped totally onto my side of the bed. I'll need to correct that statement: He's flipped diagonally across the bed. Head and torso are sleeping like a baby on my side - and legs and feet are in dreamland on his side. There is no place for me now. And he looks so darn peaceful...so darn cute...so darn relaxed that I don't have the heart to wake him up. And anyhow, I know very well that my agitation is coming from pms hell more than my little steamroller. So I'm getting a blanket and sleeping on the couch.

Did I mention I feel awfully. Really. Two ovaries for sale here. I'll toss in the uterus for free if the bid is generous enough. Why do my wrists ache? I feel sick all over....I'm whinier in the middle of the night...

Wish me sleep.

 

[karla]

Hope you finally got some sleep. My husband used to be like that, but everytime he rolled on my side, I woke him up and enough so that he was awake. He eventually decided to give me my space. I like cuddling and all, but when it is time to sleep I want to give him a kiss, say I love you, and turn over to sleep

 

[Busybee]

I hope you feel better, but the way you described it was hilarious.

I used to feel your pain. My husband would sleep on his back and then draw his knees up. Well his leg closest to me would always fall over onto me. I adapted this method of taking my foot and shoving against his heel to knock his leg back down onto the bed. A heavy leg on my side was killing me. My oldest daughter has this same habit lol.

After awhile of roughing him up in the bed that way, I rarely ever have to deal with it now. It's actually reversed now and he's hanging off the side of the bed because my newborn runs me down in the bed when I'll allow her to sleep with us and she ends up taking over .

 

[Leanna]

Push back?

 

[IslandBreeze]

An investment in a king-sized bed might be the answer.

 

[Jenna]

Oh goodness, do I feel your pain! *hugs* My husband is like that too, and it used to drive me out of my mind. It didn't matter how big the bed was, he would chase me around the bed and proceed to roll over onto me and push me off the bed. Through some tough love, I've managed to tame him a bit. Now he's manageable enough that I can just push him back over to his own side of the bed. Previously though, I would go somewhere else and sleep. He would get upset that I would be out of bed, and he would pout at me over it. However, after a few times of him feeling guilty, he started making more of an effort to stay on his side of the bed. Now, when he's having a rough night, I stick a big pillow or two between us, and it acts as just enough of a barrier to keep him from crushing me. It doesn't help that he likes to actually lay on top of my, and rest his head on top of mine. I get claustrophobic and have a panic attack, so he gets a real forceful shove over to his own side of the bed. lol So, now when he wants to cuddle when he falls asleep, he'll turn his back to me and *I'll* wrap my arms around him.

 

[GirlieGirl]

I finally got some sleep last night. Good thing our couch is comfortable! I woke up around 8:30 and a strange man was wrapped all around me. Hubby doesn't like to sleep alone you see. I woke up to him asking me "Where did you go? Why didn't you sleep with me? WHy are you on the couch?" I did my best to answer but (I'm told) it came out more like "So sleepy...you're cute....sucks to be a girl....."

I feel terrible about shoving him. Rationally, I know that I shouldn't. But when it comes right down to it, I feel too bad to do it. I think I should become a steamroller too. Maybe if I claim dominion on his side first, it will act like a preemtive strike!

 

[Jenna]

*laughs* Your husband and mine sound like they were made from the same mold. I've tried switching to his side of the bed, especially when he starts moving, but it hasn't worked. Instead, I get pinned between him and the wall. lol

 

[~PICKLE~]

I have two bed hogs and I only have a Queen size bed. We have two beds in our house but sometimes in the middle of the night our son wants to join us and I get the raw end of the deal. So either I go to the couch or I take my pillow and go to the opposite end of the bed. That doesn't work either cause the covers won't cover my feet without covering my son's head. Plus this morning his head was pushing my feet off and his bumm was in my back. I was hangin on with dear life not to fall off the bed. ANd that's just my son, my husband flopps all night. So My chioce is the couch at most times, My son's bed scares me, LOL. He has a bunk bed and that top bunk hoverin over me makes me nervous. So needless to say I don't sleep in my son's bed.

 

[desi]

Sleep in separate beds.

 

[laura-ann]

Sleep in separate beds.

you cant be serious im sure thats not healthy for a marrige!! haha

 

[GirlieGirl]

He's not serious. Desi is just in a bad mood today.

Hey, I have had two nights of nice peaceful sleep! Yeah for us!

 

[EmSchmem]

He's not serious. Desi is just in a bad mood today.

Not to drift from the subject but if Desi's responses are indicitive of mood, he's never in a good one.

Now, I too am married to a bed hog. A bony one at that. The first few months we were married I actually got multiple black eyes and bruises from his very bony pointy elbows! I actually have learned to duck in my sleep.
These are other things he does.
Talks
Snores
Does push ups
Shadow boxes
"clicks" i still don't know how or why does does it
smacks his lips in his sleeps
giggles
says strange perverse things most 12 year olds would say (totally different category from just talking in his sleep.
knees me
elbows me
shoulders me
kicks me
throws his pillow at me when he decides he doesn't want it anymore

SO. What do I do? I nudge elbow should kick shove back. I wake him up and tell him to roll over if he is snoring. If he is talking i talk to him to have something to tease him about in the morning. I take back my side of the bed! It's my bed too and I have no qualms about waking the boy up!

 

[bliz]

There are happily married couples who do sleep in seperate beds. It's not my preference, but it's the only thing that works for some couples.

We went for the king sized bed. It's great! We can cuddle together in a small portion of it, sleep on seperate sides, have space so that if one of us is reading the other is still pretty much in the dark, and have room for kids to flop down and talk to us. Once in a great while we have had to share a full sized bed and I have no idea how on earth some couples do it!

 

[GirlieGirl]

Says perverse 12 year old things? My naughty side is dying to know what those would be.

 

[Jenna]

There were times when I really did want to have my own bed. I even thought that it would make the sex even better because it would be more novel to cuddle and lay with me. Heeheehee..... But, he just won't sleep without me, even if I can't sleep with him. lol Really though, things have gotten a lot better. I think that all we needed was some time to train him to respond to me while he is still sleeping. Now that he'll move if I nudge him a little, I'm happy.

 

[EmSchmem]

Says perverse 12 year old things? My naughty side is dying to know what those would be.

Dumb Beevis and Butthead type stuff...

"i had chicken breasts for dinner... hehehe you said breasts. I like breasts. hehehe"

One night he was all "Dude. My wife is so hot. she has the sexiest a$$. Yer jealous aren't you?"

Those are the tame things. But it's always said like a geeky 12 year old. MEN!

 

[laura-ann]

Dumb Beevis and Butthead type stuff...

"i had chicken breasts for dinner... hehehe you said breasts. I like breasts. hehehe"

One night he was all "Dude. My wife is so hot. she has the sexiest a$$. Yer jealous aren't you?"

Those are the tame things. But it's always said like a geeky 12 year old. MEN!

HAHA!!! that is so hilariuos i think i would die of laughter and wake him up if i was in your situation!!

 

[EmSchmem]

HAHA!!! that is so hilariuos i think i would die of laughter and wake him up if i was in your situation!!

I usually prod him to keep talking and tease him about it in the morning. Except when he was talking in his sleep and said I f***ed her. Then I shook that boy awake.
He has also had this dream that makes him talk about penguins standing in line at the time clock and how you don't want to mess with them becuase they'll throw cheese at you.
Crazy if you ask me!

 

[laura-ann]

I usually prod him to keep talking and tease him about it in the morning. Except when he was talking in his sleep and said I f***ed her. Then I shook that boy awake.
He has also had this dream that makes him talk about penguins standing in line at the time clock and how you don't want to mess with them becuase they'll throw cheese at you.
Crazy if you ask me!

so funny!!! i know i talk in my sleep but im sure i never say anything as crazy as that!
hope everything is going good for you guys