Butterflycharm-
At the core of our code of conduct as Christians is a set of motivations, rather than a set of laws. Not only are we to do the right things, but we are also to do them for the right reasons. And it is our recognition of which motivations are to be seen as the identifying characteristics of the sinful nature, and which are to be identified as the characteristics of the Christlike nature, which helps us to realize whether what we are urged to say or do conforms to God's will or not:
So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature. For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want. But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under law.
The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the sinful nature with its passions and desires. Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking and envying each other. (Galatians 5:16-26,NIV)
The acts of the sinful nature are the motivations which culminate in the commission of sinful acts. And no action which has these motivations as its impetus can be seen as anything other than sinful. Just as a poisoned tree cannot yield good fruit, actions which have these motivations at their core cannot yield anything but evil results. And this rule applies even if the actions are cloaked in pietism. If someone tells you that it's okay to have a certain motivation listed as an act of the sinful nature because God said that it was okay, he's lying.
In order for the actions to be righteous, the underlying motivations which culminates in those actions being performed must also be righteous. And that occurs only when the motivations are 'the fruit of the Spirit'. Just as the motivations listed as 'the acts of the sinful nature' will always culminate in the commission of sinful acts, the motivations listed as 'the fruit of the Spirit' will always culminate in the performance of righteous acts. That's why the words which immediately follow the listing of these 'fruit' are, "Against such things there is no law."
God bless-