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Sin and forgiveness and utter confusion

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LaundrySoap

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Hi everyone.
This is PG13 and I'm sorry but I need help.

A few months ago I posted about how, last year, my boyfriend and I went "almost too far." Long story short, I asked him repeatedly if we could "go all the way" and physically pressured him, and while we didn't go That Far, we did have oral sex.

I felt so, so guilty for that. And I still do. We broke up last month over other issues, but this is still in my head. I even asked him about it this morning, and I told him I feel like he has every right to press charges, because I wasn't "lost in passion," i knew what i was doing. But he's not going to, and he offered me advice on forgiving myself and moving on.

He's told me repeatedly that we did NOT have sex that night. I'm just paranoid, because clothes were off and we were so, so close. I literally analyzed how everything felt and I have this horrible thought that, what if we DID, like, a tiny bit? And he didn't realize? Does that make sense? I'm sorry, I don't want to be graphic but I am so scared to talk about this to anyone in person.

And basically, if we DID have sex, even a little bit that he didn't correctly interpret, then that means I did something HORRIBLE, because I pushed him.

I have good reason to trust he knows what he is talking about when he says we did NOT go all the way. But I'm so, so terrified.
 

SavedByGrace3

Jesus is Lord of ALL! (Not asking permission)
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1 John 1:9 KJV
9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

1 John 2:2 KJV
2. And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world.

1 John 2:12 KJV
12. I write unto you, little children, because your sins are forgiven you for his name's sake.

Psalms 103:3-4 KJV
3. Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

Isaiah 43:25 KJV
25. I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins.



There is going to be regret. Let that be a motivator in future temptations.
 
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Maria Billingsley

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Sorry it is still considered illicit sexual activity. Blessings.
 
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TheLastGeek

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What are you terrified about? Going "all the way" and having oral sex are on the same level of intimacy here. You didn't like, escape some big, scary, awful sexual sin, just because you had oral sex, but not vaginal sex. You still had sexual relations. You were still intimate.

You're broken up with this guy now. Why are you talking to him about this after breaking up? This incident occurred last year. Stop making it your ex-boyfriend's problem, leave him alone, and move on.

If you feel guilt for what happened, then take it to the Lord, confess it, repent of it, accept His forgiveness, and let it go.

If you find you can't stop harping back to it, then find someone to talk to who's spiritually more mature than yourself. A female church leader is what I would recommend.
 
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LaundrySoap

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So... long story short, I ended up talking to my ex about this again (and it will likely be for the last time, because we ended up blocking each other a couple days later). I explained to him how I felt that we might have done "a little bit" of "regular sex" (because we were so close). He insisted that even if we had, it's not the same as really going all the way, and he followed up with the fact that we didn't do the "little bit" that i was worried about. I still don't fully believe that--not that I think he's lying, but I'm paranoid that maybe he just didn't realize. I know that he's had a partner before me, but even still.

I know that I was still much too intimate with him. I know that I need to divulge that information to a future boyfriend (when the time comes). But if asked directly, if I have ever had sex, I am really not sure what the answer is supposed to be? How am I supposed to explain this? (My ex, when I told that him I wasn't sure how to explain it, said, essentially, that we didn't have sex, so the answer is simple: I can say "I am still a virgin." But, based on how I felt and how paranoid I am, I'm just not that certain.)
 
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BobRyan

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LaundrySoap said:
Hi everyone.
This is PG13 and I'm sorry but I need help.

A few months ago I posted about how, last year, my boyfriend and I went "almost too far."
Click to expand...
You are wayyy over-analyzing this thing.

"All have sinned come fall short of the glory of God" Rom 3:23.

you need to be comfortable that all are sinners and all are bound for the lake of fire in Rev 20 - the final end for the lost person.

The only escape is the Gospel.
"These things I write that you SIN NOT - and if anyone sins we HAVE an Advocate with the Father" 1 John 2:1

You keep trying to turn sin into "less than horrible sin" -- "not so bad sin" , "better than ??? sin".

Stop going round and round on that. Just confess to God , ask for forgiveness and stop trying to put lipstick on a mistake. Just move on.

Jesus loves you. He died to save you and He is not going to dump you just because you discovered that you are a sinner.

Did you and your old boyfriend ever give anyone Bible studies and lead them to Christ? Did your old boyfriend try to get you to do that or pray about ways that you might do that when the two of you were alone?

The modern form of "dating" is designed to get young adults "to fall" into sin. Don't let Satan add depression and discouragement - just seek God who loves you more than anyone else ever can , and who not only "forgives us our sins" 1 John 1:9 but ALSO "cleanses from ALL unrighteousness".

IN Matt 5 Jesus said that even THE THOUGHT of impurity carries with it the sin of that impurity. Stop trying to dress it up. Just give it to God and let him take care of the rest.
 
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Paul4JC

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I disagree. If you've confessed this and repented, it is under the blood of Christ. Bad as it was, you didn't go "all the way." Move forward now and don't look back. If you maintain purity from now on, no need to bring out these "dead man bones" again, to anyone. With that said, if you continue in this kind of behavior I would not give the above advice. In the end, you may end up sharing with him, but it's not some binding requirement if you've already done business with God. It will all work out if you put God first.

God bless you and bring the right man into your life at the right time. Grow in your faith and know God is easy to live with. Grace to you.
 
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LaundrySoap

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I get what you all are saying, and I appreciate your words, I'm just certain that I'm going to be asked by a future potential husband "have you ever had sex before" and I'm just not sure how to answer that. I know we had oral sex. But I'm not sure if we technically had the other kind of sex. So I am not sure how to answer that question succinctly without going into unnecessary details...
 
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Paul4JC

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You can cross that bridge when you get there. Meanwhile, enjoy God's love and favor and that he is greater than all our problems past and future. Don't put on an albatross around your life that the Lord doesn't want you to have. Your future husband should be one who even if he knows will also concede with many here that it's in the past and you dealt with it with the Lord. If you have to walk on eggshells with him then he may not be the one either.

Again, if God has forgiven you in Christ, it's not always necessary to bring up the matter again. If he's forgiven and cleansed you, then you need to start acting like it, my dear. I don't see the verse where it says, "List all your sins you've ever committed." If there was we'd never get done listing our sins! God bless.
 
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