Siblings and SI

[anteloperunner]

I am currently raising my younger brother who is 16 now. I recently notice some marks that looked self inflicted. I confronted him about this and he did not deny it but instead threw it back in my face saying that it was not that big of a deal you used to do it.

I am not sure how to responded when he threw the fact that i used to cut back in my face.

I also fear that if i someday slip back into cutting, then how will i be able to help him. Everyday seeming like a battle lately and i am losing the strength to fight.

And yes he is in counseling.

How can i help him understand that just because his older sister used to it doesn't make it right?

 

[KittyKorner06]

I guess I would tell him how much it hurt you in your life and how hard it can be to get out of once you get in too far.

If you can, I would probably try to make sure he understands that you're only concerned about him and that you care about him. Hopefully he'll understand that you just don't want to see him get hurt the way you have getting involved in SI.

KittyKorner

 

[pockleberry]

Encourage him to get a support system of his own so that you don't feel you have to cope with it all on your own. He might just be defensive about it because it is hard to talk to people like family who tend to be close...Tell him about here if you think he might find it helpful. I would agree with KittyKorner about telling him how it affected your life and that's why you don't want him to do the same thing you did...

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Wow. What happened that you are the one raising him now?

 

[anteloperunner]

Thanks everyone for the advise. This has some different ways of approaching things.

Mr. Cheese- Why i am raising him is a vey long story. But to keep it simple 4 years ago our parents died in a car crash, we then moved in with our grandfather because we were both minors in the eyes of the law. A week after i turn 18 our grandfather died, God let him hang on just long enough, and i made the choice to take my brother in and not let him go into the foster care system.

 

[chloeobrien]

*huge hugs* I too believe you should tell him about your expericens with it and how it leads to unpleasant situations, and in the end it really makes life a whole lot more complicated. If you have trouble talking with him you could tell him you know others that hurt them selves too adn are struggling to get it out of their life now that they have been dependant upon it for so long. I'd be mroe than happy to chat with him, I've been rather successful with getting others to stop its just more difficult getting me to stop. I wish you the best of luck and you have all of my support!

 

[Mr.Cheese]

Thanks everyone for the advise. This has some different ways of approaching things.

Mr. Cheese- Why i am raising him is a vey long story. But to keep it simple 4 years ago our parents died in a car crash, we then moved in with our grandfather because we were both minors in the eyes of the law. A week after i turn 18 our grandfather died, God let him hang on just long enough, and i made the choice to take my brother in and not let him go into the foster care system.

Wow.
Loss of parents is not an unusual cause of self-injury.

At least you've been through it. Who better to help your little brother?

I admire your strength. That's gotta be hard.

 

[anteloperunner]

thanks everyone for encouraging me to talk to him about how S.I affected my life.

last night we sat down and started talking more honestly than we ever had before. This was going so well, i should have known it wouldnt last, we were about to agree upon a decision on how we can help eachother then the phone began to ring. He asked me to help him by removing some of the temptations from the house and i agreed.

I began to thank God for letting us has this converation.

Yet the phone rang twice last nice. The first call was for me, my best friend who was fighting in Iraq was killed. The second call was for my brother, his best friend was found dead (he went out for a run and never came back) of an enlarged heart.

Last night was possibly the second hardest night in my life not to S.I. No one ever said this struggle was going to be easy.

Again thank you for the advise and please continue praying,

Allison

 

[Mr.Cheese]

*hugs you and hugs you*

 

[beckybooiloveu]

*HUGE HUGS* stay strong and try to keep the communication between one another going. I know what you mean with trying to approach younger siblings about it... Although i am not raising my brother (15 yrs of age) i think he SI's sometimes too... and wenever I try to talk to him about it always throws my SI habits and suicide attempt back in my face...
I think the best way to help him is just to try and stay close and to keep the communication lines open.
*HUGE HUGS*

 

[texannurse]

thanks everyone for encouraging me to talk to him about how S.I affected my life.

last night we sat down and started talking more honestly than we ever had before. This was going so well, i should have known it wouldnt last, we were about to agree upon a decision on how we can help eachother then the phone began to ring. He asked me to help him by removing some of the temptations from the house and i agreed.

I began to thank God for letting us has this converation.

Yet the phone rang twice last nice. The first call was for me, my best friend who was fighting in Iraq was killed. The second call was for my brother, his best friend was found dead (he went out for a run and never came back) of an enlarged heart.

Last night was possibly the second hardest night in my life not to S.I. No one ever said this struggle was going to be easy.

Again thank you for the advise and please continue praying,

Allison

Many prayers and hugs for you and your brother! I am so sorry for your loss. We're all here if you ever need us! TN