Should I regret?

[leiriko]

I've been in a serious relationship for a year now, prior to that having two relationships where one was abusive physically and the other mentally, and neither of them did I do anything sexual with. But with the man I've fallen for, I have lost my virginity to him. He did not force me. We did it for the closeness, not for the "pleasure". It is, and always will be, an act of love. But should I regret that decision?

We are two opposing people. He comes from a deeply religious family, yet was born with his parents split up and stuff. He isn't religious a single bit and I understand if we ever were to get married it would not be in a church. I have loved before, but never like this. We respect everything we believe, but I'm not sure whether I'm Sinning or can even call myself a Christian anymore. I like to believe that I'm human enough to see past differences, because this world is so complicated and so delicate.

I don't know what to do. I wouldn't leave him for my beliefs. That isn't fair. He would never do the same for me. But I'm just really messed up in the head at the moment and need some advice.

 

[angrySCORCH62]

I want to first stress that I am an absolutely rookie Christian when it comes to scripture and interpreting the bible, I have only been getting closer to God once again sometime last week so I can't give advice when it comes to what is consider sin and what is not, I hope somebody with more knowledge does reply to you about that (I don't want to promote sinning but I also don't want to claim something is a sin when it might not be).

What I do know is that God is all loving and forgives our sins (Christ died on the cross for our sins), once again I must stress that I don't know if these are considered sins or not as I think people are divided over many issues.

4 Reasons Not to Worry - What Does the Bible Say About Worry?

 

[quitespirit]

Yes, you are sinning. Pre-marital sex is sin, God intends sex for marriage. There is no way around it. Should you regret it? Yes. Look what 2 Cor 7:10 says http://www.blueletterbible.org/Bible.cfm?b=2Cr&c=7&t=NIV#10"Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death."

I was tangled in this sin myself. I knew that I needed God to change my heart on this issue because in my defiance of HIS will I persisted in my sin and was hardened. I asked HIM to soften my heart and HE did!

This direction will cost you. God see's everything, even when no one else does. Spiritually, emotionally, and maybe even physically we pay a price for immorality.

 

[Andres88]

I'd say that you are crossing the line toward obsession, rather than a true understanding of love. When limits are established by God, it's not to limit our freedom, but for us to experience the fullness of happiness by living in an un-obstaculized communion with Him. Every time we decide to cross the limits, we are giving Him our back and preferring the things created rather than the Creator Himself.

I think you should evaluate, not only your relationship, but also your motives and what exactly is driving you to act. Having sex for the "closeness" diminishes the closeness that would otherwise be experienced in the context of marriage (where God intended sex to take place in).

There is forgiveness in God, but you need to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him. You can't be led by feelings: we are to walk by faith. And trust me: I know how hard that is. I went through the same, but in the end, it's my responsibility to decide if I will follow God or follow other gods.

I'll be praying for you!

 

[Spunkn]

I'd say that you are crossing the line toward obsession, rather than a true understanding of love. When limits are established by God, it's not to limit our freedom, but for us to experience the fullness of happiness by living in an un-obstaculized communion with Him. Every time we decide to cross the limits, we are giving Him our back and preferring the things created rather than the Creator Himself.

I think you should evaluate, not only your relationship, but also your motives and what exactly is driving you to act. Having sex for the "closeness" diminishes the closeness that would otherwise be experienced in the context of marriage (where God intended sex to take place in).

There is forgiveness in God, but you need to deny yourself, take up your cross, and follow Him. You can't be led by feelings: we are to walk by faith. And trust me: I know how hard that is. I went through the same, but in the end, it's my responsibility to decide if I will follow God or follow other gods.

I'll be praying for you!

This. This is not true love, it's infatuation. And I've fallen for it before, and it feels like love, but it's not. Love is waiting for the right time to have sex in marriage. You may feel close to him, but how long have you really known him? Have you spent time around him with others? How does he act in group situations?

Since you said he is not religious to begin with, it doesn't seem like a very good idea. You are caught up in the emotions, but the reality is that "loving" feeling if it's not true love won't last. Love is often a hard choice. And it takes a lot of work, and working through problems to truly be loving to one another. Not just because you sleep together.

I think you need to be really careful, because once that "feeling of love" wears off, things start to get ugly.