Should I Go Out Tonight?

[nb408]

My coworker asked me if I want to go to a bar with all my other coworkers tonight and he really wanted me to go. I'm so shy that I've been working with my other coworkers for three years and all they know is my name and my age. That's how painfully quiet I am. However, I tend to let loose and be more outgoing when I'm outside of work and responsibility. The only reason I don't want to go tonight is because I don't want to make it awkward for anyone else. I want them all to have a good time and I feel like I would just be interfering with that. I can't help but think whenever people ask me out to go somewhere it's like they're doing charity work and it makes me feel horrible. I don't want them to think that I won't go because I'm too cool for them or anything because that's definitely not the case. What should I do?

 

[BFine]

Don't assume stuff like that... I ask out people I
actually want to spend time with.

 

[colorblindlover]

Hey there
Have you by chance ever taken a personality test such as the Myers Briggs or similar? I want to assume you're an introvert, but I won't. However, as an introvert, I will share a few thoughts that might help, since your situation sounds like a large portion of my life up until about 5 years ago.

I'm wondering if you've ever thought of your coworkers in this way: they don't know you well (you said this in your post, right?) so when most people don't know someone very well and they're the type of people who like to go to bars or other venues to socialize, aren't they likely to WANT to get to know the person they don't know better? If so, do you think maybe they are asking you to hang out because they think you're interesting? Maybe even mysterious since they don't know you that well?

I'm also wondering why you think you would make it awkward for them... since you said that you become more outgoing and "let loose" when you socialize outside of work. It sounds like you are a fun person, but perhaps your personality is more reserved than theirs. They may be extroverted and so their personalities may seem more "fun" on the outside. Your "fun" personality is more on the inside, if that makes sense. But that doesn't mean you're socializing the wrong way. I'm thinking that maybe you view yourself much differently than they do, otherwise, like BFine said, they probably wouldn't be asking you to hang out. Usually if people want to hang out with you, it's because they like you or want to get to know you a little better. Assume the best!