Should I be concerned?

[AnointedPoetess]

I think I have an eating disorder although I'm not quite sure. I have very low self esteem and body image issues. I feel like I need to starve myself as a form of self punishment. Its been going on for a few yrs off and on. I haven't been dxed. I REALLy need support. I also feel like do it bc I'm afraid of loosing control or being out of control. I'm really scared to let go of control bc I feel like everything else is so out of control all around me and in my life. I tend to go days without eating or drinking and if I do, its very little and not much at all.

 

[Criada]

It does sound as though you have a problem, sweetie. You need to talk to a doctor about this, and see someone to talk over the things in your life that have made you feel this way.
It's a very difficult thing to do, but you need to ask for help, sweetie, before you get very sick.

 

[RuthD]

I am wishing you happiness for yourself-you seem to be too hard on yourself by self punishment. I say this because I care about you. I also think seeing an MD would be wise. God bless you.

 

[AnointedPoetess]

Thanks Criada and RuthD for your replies and advice. I'm terrified to open up to my doctor about this. I'm so used to suffering in silence that I'm scared to reach out for help. The self hate voice has been so loud lately. I don't like my body at all and I just wish I could be beautiful but I'm not. I was sexually and verbally abused as a child.

 

[blessedmomof5]

I think I have an eating disorder although I'm not quite sure. I have very low self esteem and body image issues. I feel like I need to starve myself as a form of self punishment. Its been going on for a few yrs off and on. I haven't been dxed. I REALLy need support. I also feel like do it bc I'm afraid of loosing control or being out of control. I'm really scared to let go of control bc I feel like everything else is so out of control all around me and in my life. I tend to go days without eating or drinking and if I do, its very little and not much at all.

sounds like you need to open up to your Dr, i have been struggling with anorexia AND YOU SOUND JUST LIKE I DO, WITH THE SELF PUNISHMENT opps sorry about the caps.... not yelling

 

[Criada]

I know how you feel, sweetie, I was abused as well... I don't starve myself, but I do cut myself for the same reasons.
I know it is terrifying to open up to anyone.. I am a lot older than you are, and I didn't manage to talk to my doctor about it until last year. But, I wish I had done it years ago! I am having therapy now, and it's hard work, but things are getting better, and I can see some hope now that one day I will be free of the guilt and self-hatred.

Remember, though, sweetie, although you feel this way, what happened was not in any way your fault. You were a victim, and you are *not* to blame for it.

Please PM me if you want to talk, anytime.

 

[AnointedPoetess]

sounds like you need to open up to your Dr, i have been struggling with anorexia AND YOU SOUND JUST LIKE I DO, WITH THE SELF PUNISHMENT opps sorry about the caps.... not yelling

Thank you, Blessedmom! I'm so glad to find someone else who can relate to me. I'm scared to talk to anyone in real life. I don't know if I can. Am I really that bad?

 

[AnointedPoetess]

I know how you feel, sweetie, I was abused as well... I don't starve myself, but I do cut myself for the same reasons.
I know it is terrifying to open up to anyone.. I am a lot older than you are, and I didn't manage to talk to my doctor about it until last year. But, I wish I had done it years ago! I am having therapy now, and it's hard work, but things are getting better, and I can see some hope now that one day I will be free of the guilt and self-hatred.

Remember, though, sweetie, although you feel this way, what happened was not in any way your fault. You were a victim, and you are *not* to blame for it.

Please PM me if you want to talk, anytime.

Thank you for your advice and support! I'm glad to your getting better. It is very scary esp about this.

 

[AnointedPoetess]

I feel so alone. I can't do this by myself

 

[blessedmomof5]

Thank you, Blessedmom! I'm so glad to find someone else who can relate to me. I'm scared to talk to anyone in real life. I don't know if I can. Am I really that bad?

Please find someone to talk too... if you go to a ED therapist, then it will be easier to open up.
if you need to talk i am just a PM away