Shelter Kids?

[angellica]

This question has to do with "sheltering" kids. My example is this: my cousin, wife, and their son were over at my apartment. Their son was playing with my iPhone and he started up the iPod. It started playing some song and my cousin asked me if there was anything on there that he shouldn't hear. I said yes and quickly took it from him and turned the music off and then let him play the games again. My question is this - what would you have done if you were my cousin in this situation - your kid started playing the iPod, would you let them listen to whatever was on there or would you ask if there is inappropriate things on the playlist and then make him turn it off?

Additional info:
Their son is 5 years old, so for this example assume your child is 5 years old as well.

Some of the songs on my playlist were Three 6 Mafia, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Lil' Boosie, 50 Cent, mainly a bunch of rap and most of it is uncensored.

If you decide to answer this question, thanks in advance. It's nothing I'm worried about, I'm just curious how much other people expose their children to.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

I have some songs on my iPod that I don't let my 13 year old listen to, let alone a 5 year old. I would've done the same thing that you did. I know my kids will be exposed to some stuff sooner or later, but I'd like to put it off as long as possible. For instance, I have the song Rockstar by Nickelback. It's a catchy song and my oldest has heard it a couple of times on the radio. Even though the song is somewhat farcical in nature, it still talks about the "mile-high club", doing drugs (from a pez dispenser), the Playboy mansion, things like that. So he's not allowed to have that song on his iPod. I carefully monitor all songs that he buys - I check the lyrics beforehand and if there's any swearing, it's a no-go.

 

[angellica]

I agree with you, Preacher's wife. There's no way I would have felt comfortable with letting him listen to that. I've heard a few people on here say that they don't want to shelter their kids from anything, so I am curious to see what they would do in this situation.

 

[PreachersWife2004]

My little nieces, who are going to be 7, listen to crap all the time. My brother listens to the most foulest rap music on the face of the earth. Usually it's full of the f the cops and stuff like that. He's a good guy, but his music tastes for the large part suck. He doesn't seem to care that the girls hear it, and he wasn't bothered one bit when one of them got a note home from the school saying that she was singing the lyrics to some song that included "shoot the white mo-[wash my mouth][wash my mouth][wash my mouth]" or some such nonsense. He says they will be exposed to it so why hide it from them...

I totally disagree with him, but he does at least tell the girls that it's an inappropriate way to talk in public, that these "artists" are expressing their pain and suffering from racial discrimination in their music. I don't think they understand that, though.

 

[Tenka]

I was keeping a 7yo entertained while our mums did some scrapbooking and had an uncensored talk about their teaching jobs. I don't really have any kids music so I played some Opeth for her, tracks such as Benighted, Isolation years and most of the album Damnation is pretty soft too.

I wouldn't let anyone listen to your selection, man, woman or child.

 

[angellica]

What kind of music is Opeth? I've never heard of them (her?).

 

[ShieldOFaith]

This question has to do with "sheltering" kids. My example is this: my cousin, wife, and their son were over at my apartment. Their son was playing with my iPhone and he started up the iPod. It started playing some song and my cousin asked me if there was anything on there that he shouldn't hear. I said yes and quickly took it from him and turned the music off and then let him play the games again. My question is this - what would you have done if you were my cousin in this situation - your kid started playing the iPod, would you let them listen to whatever was on there or would you ask if there is inappropriate things on the playlist and then make him turn it off?

Additional info:
Their son is 5 years old, so for this example assume your child is 5 years old as well.

Some of the songs on my playlist were Three 6 Mafia, Snoop Dogg, Ludacris, Lil' Boosie, 50 Cent, mainly a bunch of rap and most of it is uncensored.

If you decide to answer this question, thanks in advance. It's nothing I'm worried about, I'm just curious how much other people expose their children to.

First off, you need some Hank Williams Sr. in that Ipod.

Second, there are many things a 5yr old should not hear.

 

[angellica]

First off, you need some Hank Williams Sr. in that Ipod.

Second, there are many things a 5yr old should not hear.

My parents always listened to country music when I was little, so it was forced upon me. I guess that's why I can't stand most of it now, no offense .

 

[hsmommyofmany]

i would have done the same thing. i do not see protecting an innocent 5 year old from the vulgarity and un-Godliness in the world to be sheltering...it is responsible parenting. your cousin definately did the right thing and so did you by saying that there was inappropriate stuff on the ipod.

 

[Tenka]

What kind of music is Opeth? I've never heard of them (her?).

Swedish Prog/death/melodic metal, I wouldn't recommend much of what they play for kids to listen to but some is quite peaceful and beautiful if sad in tone.
Link to Benighted on youtube, (acoustic, slow, soft vocals).

 

[angellica]

Swedish Prog/death/melodic metal, I wouldn't recommend much of what they play for kids to listen to but some is quite peaceful and beautiful if sad in tone.
Link to Benighted on youtube, (acoustic, slow, soft vocals).

Cool, thanks for the video .

 

[angellica]

I tried to think of something to say, but really I just wanna bump this thread so here goes...

 

[truthshift]

It's a tricky subject. It's hard to say where the line is. How much control is too much control? How do we discern whether we are protecting or restricting??

I've often thought of taking another approach:

Children are capable of learning at accelerated rates. Their power to take in vast amounts of information, very rapidly is inherent in all of them.

Why not allow them exposure to the various "elements" of society that we would normally deem inappropriate? In the same turn, explain to them all of the alternatives and the effects of such behaviors that there might be.

They say that the uneducated mind is forced to use profanity and resort to acts of violence because it can find no other alternatives for expression of emotion or thought.

Why not provide excessive amounts of information and promote the desire for understanding of the world. Why not push them to grasp the big picture immediately, so there is not this process of them being taught all of these rudimentary truths and then only later allowing them to see the entire picture? That breeds very close-minded people. It also, certainly, provides plenty of resentment in the parent-child relationship.

I'm not saying that you should go and overload your child with all this information about life, rather, let them discover for themselves what exists in society and then provide them with all of the information regarding the subject and let them decide for themselves. You have to be the expert and the mentor.

I don't believe that it's appropriate to hide information or indoctrinate people into a certain lifestyle under the guise of "protection". I feel that it's just an excuse because people do not feel that they have the ability to instill their morals on their children without making it the only thing they know.

I'm aware that the young and/or adolescent mind is very impressionable and not as under control as they(the children) say it is. The influence of society is, by and large, the greatest mental force in existence. Even so, if you do not agree with society, you do not reserve the right to lie to your children. You can teach what you know and instill what you feel is important but beyond that, I feel that there is an infringement of human rights taking place.

There is no real way to find where we cross the line in sheltering kids, so I think a safe policy could be to not try to cross it at all.
__________
Edit: There are guidelines on all forms of media that do a pretty good job of telling parents the age group that it is appropriate for. There is no reason that you should not want to promote certain media for your child. There are some things that are not appropriate for children. It really is incredibly hard to draw the line, I mean, you certainly would not want your kid exposed to pornographic media or death and destruction at any age where they are still a minor. But, should they come across it, be ready to tell them why it's inappropriate and not fit for daily life.

 

[angellica]

So truthshift, what would you have done in my situation, and/or in my cousin's situation? I do appreciate your thoughts, and I've read them but I'd also like to know what you would do in those situations. Thanks!

 

[truthshift]

So truthshift, what would you have done in my situation, and/or in my cousin's situation? I do appreciate your thoughts, and I've read them but I'd also like to know what you would do in those situations. Thanks!

Personally, I'd let them listen to it. Chances are, they don't understand half of what it means at the time anyhow.

I'd hope that I'd have the ability to promote education in my child to the point where they are not influenced so greatly by entertainment media. I think that much of the power of influence that media has on our kids comes from us not giving them better things to do.

They spend so much time soaking up the random stuff that flows into our homes and lives through every media outlet because we do not provide them with enough of an interesting challenge. The childs mind is naturally looking for opportunities for learning and information because it is trying to gain as much information of the existence around it as rapidly as it possibly can.

What entertainment media provides is an information overload, it hammers "truth" into the child's mind with entertaining repetition and force. This gives them a very narrow perspective of life and this in turn makes.. much of what we see in society today.

So, I'd let em have a go at it. If they like the music being played, I'd give them instruments to try and make their own. Instead of action figures... legos.. If someone bought an action figure for them or they bought one for themselves, I'd let them. They'd find out how quickly action figures can get boring whereas legos can go on forever... For every entertainment show they watch, I'd have them watch something educational or.. read! :O But, I wouldn't stop them from watching it.

I'd do my best to provide open-ended, constructive, alternatives and provide other sources of information and entertainment. But, again, I would hide nothing from them.

 

[Garyzenuf]

Whats a iPod? Is that like a 8-track?

*

 

[BreadAlone]

Perhaps the better question is why one is, from an ethical perspective at least, listening to such profane music themselves, not if they have to hide their own misdeed from their children.

I don't necessarily think that one's children should be made ignorant of what's out there. I think it is more akward for a young child to find out words and innuendos from their peers in school, where it may take time for them to comprehend what exactly it all means (or, God forbid, they went and googled it on the internet, specifically if it was a sexual term or insinuation), than it would be for a parent to simply sit down and explain things to a child at various stages in their development.

 

[truthshift]

Perhaps the better question is why one is, from an ethical perspective at least, listening to such profane music themselves, not if they have to hide their own misdeed from their children.

That's an valid point, but who's to say that that is a misdeed? I feel like that could be in line with saying "Driving is a bad thing because kids aren't allowed to do it." A lot of things become appropriate for people as they age. And, contrarily many things become inappropriate as people age.

 

[cantata]

It's a tough one.

Personally, I would be unwilling to censor too much - my preference would perhaps be to listen to the music with the child if they insisted, and then talk about it afterwards.

I don't think it could do much damage to a child, but I would want to point out to them that some of the attitudes expressed are not attitudes that I endorse.

 

[Gremlins]

[music snobbery] I think perhaps weening everyone you know off of rap music would be a more productive use of time [/music snobbery]