Shall i send divorce papers?

[devastated]

Hi,

I have been separated from my husband for about 14 months now. We had been married for 18 months. About 8 months into our marriage he told me that he didn't love me and that he didn't believe in God anymore. He no longer wanted to go to church or see any of our friends from church (still doesn't as far as I know). I think we tried to make things work. I know I did things wrong, I admit that. But I also know that he was too close to a particular girl who became his 'best friend'. And I spoke to him about this, but he said they were just friends and he didn't think he needed to back off. I know that there was nothing physical whilst we were 'together'. But one day he just left and went to her place (her parents place), and has been there every since. I know a couple of months later they went overseas together.

I wa incredibly devastated when he left. I loved him very much and believe in marrige for life. I blamed myself for it all, because he said it was my fault. Now I know that it wasn't. I know that I did things wrong, but it doesn't justify him leaving and having an emotional affair, and not trying anything like counselling.

So I'm at the point of, do I send him divorce papers. If he came to me tomorrow and asked for things to go back, I'm not sure what I would do. I don't want him back, but I feel guilty because divorce is a sin. I am still angry with him(though nowhere near as much as I was before), and I still hate him, and probably still love him a little, though I don't think I'm in love wth him.

Should I send him divorce papers, and make him sign and pay for it? If he left me, is it wrong for the wife to seek divorce? I am still a christian, he is not. Or should I just wait for him to do it? - which could be a while depedning on how lazy he is. I kinda want to move on and be free. But I still feel guilty... and sad, divorce is incredibly sad.

Any advice?

Thanks

 

[mrhappy3]

Sister, you make my case look like an epic, see thread on DUMPING WIFE. One thing i would advise is, don't feel guilty, let Jesus take the strain. He wont condemn you. The Church world might, and man certainly will, but he wont, he understands. EVERY case is different. What I would say is dont suffer ALONE. Share this with a close friend, someone you trust. You need a shoulder at this time. Take your time. Be at peace. You cant change this situation yourself. Dont allow the enemy to beat you down. Get in the Lords presence, he'll see you through. Is divorce a sin ?? NOT always. x

 

[bethrow]

It's not your fault that he left and became involved with another woman. Noone deserves that sort of treatment. He has made no effort with you and he left you.
It's such a tough place to be, but you have to do what you need to do to move forward. God loves you. No, he doesn't like divorce, but he doesn't want his children hurt. I say do what helps you to move forward.

 

[devastated]

MrHappy3 - when do you think divorce is or isn't a sin?

Anyone else?

 

[young@heart]

In my personal opinion and from experience I wouldn't divorce unless its necessary. In that I mean wait on The Lord. it might turn out that he will send you papers instead.

I've been divorced a month and regret it big time, hubby divorced me but I pushed for it through pain, now it's over we have managed to forgive each other and 14 months after separation are now considering reconciliation. If only we had held off the divorce!

I know every situation is different but divorce causes God pain so if you can avoid that try ur best too.

Try the book the power of the praying wife, it might help you come to terms with what's happened the main thing is to pray that God will, help you to overcome and forgive what's happened.

I am saying these things form experience and hindsight, I wish I had never pushed my hubby to leave, he wasn't perfect but neither was I and I let the devil win

 

[true2theword]

Hi,

I have been separated from my husband for about 14 months now. We had been married for 18 months. About 8 months into our marriage he told me that he didn't love me and that he didn't believe in God anymore. He no longer wanted to go to church or see any of our friends from church (still doesn't as far as I know). I think we tried to make things work. I know I did things wrong, I admit that. But I also know that he was too close to a particular girl who became his 'best friend'. And I spoke to him about this, but he said they were just friends and he didn't think he needed to back off. I know that there was nothing physical whilst we were 'together'. But one day he just left and went to her place (her parents place), and has been there every since. I know a couple of months later they went overseas together.

I wa incredibly devastated when he left. I loved him very much and believe in marrige for life. I blamed myself for it all, because he said it was my fault. Now I know that it wasn't. I know that I did things wrong, but it doesn't justify him leaving and having an emotional affair, and not trying anything like counselling.

So I'm at the point of, do I send him divorce papers. If he came to me tomorrow and asked for things to go back, I'm not sure what I would do. I don't want him back, but I feel guilty because divorce is a sin. I am still angry with him(though nowhere near as much as I was before), and I still hate him, and probably still love him a little, though I don't think I'm in love wth him.

Should I send him divorce papers, and make him sign and pay for it? If he left me, is it wrong for the wife to seek divorce? I am still a christian, he is not. Or should I just wait for him to do it? - which could be a while depedning on how lazy he is. I kinda want to move on and be free. But I still feel guilty... and sad, divorce is incredibly sad.

Any advice?

Thanks

the apostle Paul would say you were unequally yoked, don't marry an unbeliever, marriage is tough enough with both people being believers, marrying someone outside your faith is just asking for more tears and heartache