Sex Education topic

[randombowl]

I recently "graduated" from a anonymous college/university and while doing a senior project, ran into a few "Christian Bumps" as I will call them. I wanted to hear other opinions on one of the matters...

Background: I was a student film maker and wrote a script about a father who was having that awkward conversation with his son about sex. The father describes to his son about how the birds & the bees were like the penis and the vagina. It was made to be a comedy -- how the conversation that was to be for good, took a turn and went bad. Throughout the story, the father digs himself into holes by using these metaphors instead of telling his son exactly what he needs to hear.

Issue: So as I submitted this script thinking, man, this is actually really funny. My Health for Life (academic class) teacher would love this movie for the sex education portion of his class.

As the professors sat and read the script. They immediately started going off at me for writing such a script. (I started praying "oh dear God, I'm not going to graduate.") All they were concerned about was the fact that it was dealing with sex and that their school didn't promote such a thing. What?! They didn't think that a 'Christian Institution' should promote that type of material? I wish they could separate subjective from objective. Have subjective disagreements but don't mix that up with objective evaluation. Now here's a kicker, this 'Christian Institution' as they called it supported others senior projects that were about suicide, another was a horror, and a good friend of mine just did one on a witchcraft practicing woman. These are short story projects (not documentaries or learning education videos). All of them promote/lead the audience to believe what they're watching is real and true. My script was just a short comedy about the awkward conversation between a father and his son yet I got the heat from the professors about promoting sex? How can a story explaining about sex to a kid promote sex. I used multiple parenting books on "Explaining Sex to your Child" as a base for the script. Makes me mad... and hurts a bit, too.

All the books I read about explaining sex to your child had the same message. Don't be shy about it. You and your child need to be comfortable talking about the subject. It's nothing to be ashamed of and will be messy. "Not a hallmark event" as I said in my script.

Now that you know the short version of the story... do we as Christians really have a problem with the sex talk? I'm not sure what I'm expecting to hear back. Maybe I'm hoping that these three professors are just shy about the subject. Maybe I'm wondering if it really is our religion that denies such a thing exists. Is it our schools? Am I suppose to treat sex as this well known secret that doesn't need to get out?


I'm looking forward to your ideas and comments on the matter. God bless.

 

[IndomitableAmy]

By the answers, I think you meant "Should sex be...", not "Is sex...". That's how I answered it, anyway.

Surely there are more things that could be said, more aspects that could be addressed, but for now I will say this: There have been religious sects (within Christianity) that did not promote sex. None of them lasted very long. I don't, in general, think it's a good thing to start down that path.

 

[Trashionista]

Sex has to be talked about in some capacity.

 

[peanutbutter12]

Sex education should be the responsibility of the parents, not the school. Sadly, it doesn't always happen like that, but that's as it should be.

 

[tessas212]

Eh, the whole of chrsitians have made sex so taboo... its ridiculous and only makes it MORE appealing.

 

[mina]

sex is definitely a part of life and should be talked about within families. It might be awkward but talking about sex with your parents is going to be to some extent. That doesn't mean it should never happen though. I think any parent that DOESN't take a proactive role in teaching their children that sex is a beautiful part of life does their child a great disservice. I'm all for sex within marriage, but that doesn't mean you can't teach your child that AND that sex is a beautiful natural thing that God created and called good .

 

[E.C.]

Western culture is funny. Look at movies and games and so forth that are given mild ratings, yet have gross amounts of gore, killing, negative dialogue, etc; yet the second there is any mention of the sex word, its an automatic tough rating and a "corrupter of youth".
Give me a break.


Yes, sex does need to be talked about to a point. "These are the players, this is what goes on and here's what happens later" at a minimum. Anything more than that is up to one's own discretion.

Sure, I could understand the "Institutions" gripe if the script was somehow bordering X ratings, but from what you've shared, it did not. They could have somehow seen it as promoting promiscuity in some demented way, but even that's a stretch.

(What be a great one is hypocrisy - tolerating suicide and murder yet condemning what is a very key part of basic life)

 

[randombowl]

Thank you for all the replies. I found each one extremely interesting.

As I shared, my script is about the sex talk. Neither promoting, nor discouraging. I was very careful not to promote sexual intercourse throughout the whole thing. But it does seem that once you get out of the "sex education" class. It is an off topic.

Could it be one of the many problems that encourage kids today to have sex? Not discussing it? Or would discussing it further (in an educational manner, of course) help prevent dumb decisions and promote smarter actions... ?

Since no one knows me here I can say that I was one of the dumb people and had sex during high school. Not knowing much about it because no one ever talked about it, I didn't see what was so dangerous about it. The only thing that people ever said was "it's bad, don't do it." As a teenager, if you're going to tell me that, and not give me a reason why, puh, I'm going to look into it.
Now that I've aged a tiny bit or matured if you will, and I've had many sex talks with other people I now understand so much more about sex--it's wonderful capabilities and yes, even its destructiveness. So why are people so afraid of it? (The topic/discussion)

 

[mina]

I think that people are afraid of it, b/c they never felt safe to talk about it with anyone. No one helped them to see that it was a good and valuable thing. I had wonderful parents but we never talked about sex openly. Somehow i was lucky enough to develop a really healthy and well rounded view of sex. This is something i want to conciously be different in my parenting opposed to my parents. Well when i have children that is.

 

[RachieCat]

I can be shy about it but with friends and stuff Im ok to talk about it

 

[acropolis]

if you don't talk about it, teens won't have it, duh

 

[Boss_BlueAngels]

I think that people are afraid of it, b/c they never felt safe to talk about it with anyone. No one helped them to see that it was a good and valuable thing. I had wonderful parents but we never talked about sex openly. Somehow i was lucky enough to develop a really healthy and well rounded view of sex. This is something i want to conciously be different in my parenting opposed to my parents. Well when i have children that is.

I think that's the exact point the OP was trying to make with the script they wrote. Evidently it worked too well.

I personally think that idea sounds pretty funny and entertaining!

 

[.Sabre.]

I don't think it's an "out of bounds" topic, nor should it be. I am not in the least body-phobic, which may sound strange, given that I post in Recovery, but it's quite true.

I lean towards the view that sex ed is something that should be done at home, but it's impractical to ask it of everyone.

 

[ernest_theweedwhackerguy]

Sex education should be the responsibility of the parents, not the school. Sadly, it doesn't always happen like that, but that's as it should be.

Agreed. I don't think schools should have anything to do with sex ed for certain reasons.

Eh, the whole of chrsitians have made sex so taboo... its ridiculous and only makes it MORE appealing.

What's the first thing teens do when their parents tell them not to do something?
They either think about doing it long and hard, then change their minds, or they do it.
And if you push certain things about sex too hard, then it's not gonna work.

Scare tactics work perfectly on this subject.

if you don't talk about it, teens won't have it, duh

 

[DZoolander]

I'm probably a little too old to be chiming in on this forum - but I saw the post title on the main header and couldn't resist.

Yeah - people's attitudes about sex are unhealthy in our culture (and faith). That ain't anything new. I also agree with the sentiment that sex ed *should* be the responsibility of the parents (and not the state) - however I can understand why the state steps in. As much as people whine about wanting to leave it to the parents - more often than naught - parents are woefully negligent in even broaching the subject with their kids.

...and someone's gotta do it.

For example - in my own family growing up - my mom somehow got it into her head that she was really open with us kids about issues of sex/etc. I don't know where she got that impression - because I certainly wasn't part of it. lol I remember asking her where babies came from as a kid - and her canned response was "Why do you want to know?????"

Dad wasn't any help either. I think the only time dad ever broached the subject of sex with me was when I was in high school. I had a girl that I was friends with and used to hang out with a lot. One day - dad brought me into his room and asked if she and I were "doing anything inappropriate". I was a rebellious kid - and joked back to him "Well, I guess it really depends on what you consider to be inappropriate..." and started reciting off various positions to him (we weren't...by the way...lol). He just got red in the face and told me to leave. haha

So - despite whatever my parents had convinced themselves to believe - the reality was - that they really never addressed sex with me *ever*. I'm 38 now - and both of my parents are now gone. The conversation never happened.

...and I doubt that I'm unique in that. I know a lot of people who have similar stories.

So - in the face of that *reality* - I can totally see why the state sometimes feels the need to step in. Parents aren't doing their job - but are complaining about the state usurping their authority. It's a bunch of nonsense.

Oh well...

As a side note - I didn't find out from school either. By the time that school got around to it (8th grade) - I already knew the details. It wasn't my parents, or my schools, that taught me about sex. It was the kid down the street.

 

[sullengirl]

I have a lot to say about this issue because it is one that I am passionate about. Billions of dollars are put into programs that promote 'abstinance only' education. It has been shown from the schools where these programs are in place that not only do kids not learn how to protect themselves/learn what sex is, but the number of teen pregnancies didn't go down at all. Not learning about sex only makes kids more curious about it. The more you know about something, the safer you are. Parents don't handle sex education the way they used to. Many kids don't even get a talk at all. Luckily all of the schools I went to did have some sort of 'sex ed' class though so I was able to educate myself and know right from wrong.

In my opinion, simply teaching something does not promote it. It can actually prevent it. If someone feels strongly enough to do something, they will likely do it anyways.

 

[Fed]

When you're more open-minded than all your professors that's a problem. Definitely sounds like a double standard too

 

[Allegory]

Sex education should be part of health classes. The sex education around here is pretty good...what I got from my parents was more along the lines of "use protection and if you get a girl pregnant I'll kill you" (metaphorically of course, they would never actually kill me..they might kill me with nagging, not that it matters anymore being that I'm 25 years old and have a career now)

 

[Ryanswife]

There is a difference in discussing sex in it's biological capacity and just being plain vulgar. I think many religious institutions don't know how or don't want to make that distinction. It's automatically sex = dirty. It is a reckless menatality in my opinion.

 

[Beautiful Fireball]

Eh, the whole of chrsitians have made sex so taboo... its ridiculous and only makes it MORE appealing.

What she said