Well here goes my story.
On the 19th of February 2004, as we lay in bed about to go to sleep, my wife said there is something she needs to talk to me about. She stated that she feels like she has missed out on so much in her life as we were high school sweethearts that started dating in November of 1992 and then married in 1997. She said she feels like she needs to be alone so she can think about what she wants in life. There were more things said but that was the jist of it. That Friday at work (we work in the same building together) it was a little weird. I did not know how to act around here at all. It was hard.
That night we talked some and she called everyone she knew just so she could talk to someone. Everyone from her friends, sisters, and even her mother. Well the next day she thought it best if she left, so she packed some clothes and that it was what she did. She was gone all day Saturday. Sunday she called and said she had some things that she would like to talk about and she would call me later. I told her I would like to talk to her face to face. She agreed and said she would stop by later.
When she finally arrived we proceeded to talk. I tried to figure out everything that was going on in her head and what she was thinking. I asked if I had done anything wrong, her answer was no. I asked if there was someone else, again no was her answer. The more we talked the better it got.
By the time we finshed talking and it was time for her to leave, both of us was taking it pretty hard. After she left I fell on my knees and prayed the hardest I ever prayed and GOD led me to do some things to better our marriage and give it hope. I sold the online business of web hosting I was running simply because it was taking up way to much time. I know that it had to be a factor in our marriage, but she still denies it. I was also not being the head like I was supposed to. So I prayed for forgiveness in that area and all my other faults.
Within about an hour she returned home with all her stuff and said she was sorry. I forgave her because that is what GOD does to us every time we turn away from him. We went in and sat down and talked. She proceeded to tell me about this guy that she was talking to online, that she had set up a meeting with and she had planned to stay gone long enough to see if she could go through with that then go from there. She also stated that this man was wanting to leave his wife and get my wife an apartment in his town which is about 5 hours from where we live. She told me everything and it hurt badly, but I had to love her because she did not go through with anything and for being so honest about it all.
After that I went through the process of selling my business and using the money to take us on a little getaway for the weekend. I wanted to take her back to where we went on our honeymoon. The weekend went great and we both had a great time, however two days after we had gotten back which was the 16th of March, she stated she was still having issues. She says that she just wants to be on her own and make her own decisions without having to worry about what everyone else thinks or if anyone cares. She stated that she was just wanting to do things her way, just be selfish. This struck me hard and the very next day after I got my paycheck I left work and tried to take off for a couple of days. I left her a note as to why and gave her the house key. This was a bad decision and it was defiantly clouded by anger and hate for what she said. The plan was to take off on then come back on the weekend, however I did not make it to the first night. I came home and of course she was upset because of the way I left, not because I left. I think it embarrassed her. I apologized and sought her forgiveness and the lords for stepping in the way and not listening. The next day she found an apartment and then we proceeded to move her in on the next day, which would be this past Saturday the 20th of March 2004. Things went weird from there.
On the first trip to her apartment I followed her in her car with my truck. Where she was supposed to turn to go to her apartment she didnt. She went straight. A few blocks down the road she pulled over and asked me if I seen them and I said I know where they are and led her there. The second trip to her apartment she almost did the same thing again. Then later as she made her final trip to get her clothes out of our apartment she made a wrong turn.
Then later that day she called because she could not get the bed assembled. So I went over and put it together for her. Then I fixed the tv and dvd setup. We talked a little bit, just not about what we were going through, mostly about her apartment and stuff. When I left she apologized for putting me through this and assured me that she still loves me a lot.
Later that night she called about she had washed one of her blankets for her bed and when she went to dry it the dryer didnt work. Wanted to know if I had any ideas. I didnt, but offered to come and get it and bring it back to dry it for her so she could have it. She said no that she had another blanket she could use, but thanks anyway.
The next morning as I was getting ready for church she called to ask about transferring some money in our accounts since she did not have internet yet. I was in the shower at the time so I called her a little after I got out. She was just stepping out of the shower when I called and her hot water quit working just as she put the shampoo in her hair. Needless to say she had to take and ice cold shower.
Later in the day after church and going out to eat with some of the members, she called looking for a cable and I said I would bring it to her. She still has a key to the house and knows where all the cables for the computer and tv stuff is at by the way. So I said I would bring it over. She then asked if I was hungry as she was about to fix dinner and I told her I was. Then she said, well wait just a little bit and I will fix dinner and then you can bring me that stuff and eat dinner with me. I said ok.
That all went well and I spent about three hours there talking about her apartment and helping her with some things around the house.
I have been praying earnestly for forgiveness for any sins that I may have knowingly or unknowingly done to cause what is happing. I know I have failed in so many ways and I just want a chance to try to make everything work. She on the other hand wont even seek counsel with me. She says this will give her time to think to even know if she wants to try and save our marriage or not.
She hugs me when I leave her place and we even kissed Saturday night before I left. Just a few soft loving kisses on the lips, but I felt that she still cares deeply for me. I want to give her the space she needs but I do not know how much space I need to give. I have prayed for guidance and comfort for both of us. I have to pray every time I think I should eat so that I can have an appetite. I have to pray for the LORD can give me a good nights rest. I am depending on him for everything. I am however constantly getting attacked by the devil.
I asked her if this had anything to do with the guy she was talking to and she says no. As honest as she has been with me I still honestly wonder and it is driving me crazy. I try so hard to put my worry and pain in his hands, but it is so hard.
[font="]I am sorry this is so long but I just needed to pour out my heart. I am sure there is some details that I am leaving out which I am sure will be explained later. Both of us are in need of prayer and guidance. I believe faithfully that we are meant to be together, its just that the journey to get there is not an easy one.[/font]
On the 19th of February 2004, as we lay in bed about to go to sleep, my wife said there is something she needs to talk to me about. She stated that she feels like she has missed out on so much in her life as we were high school sweethearts that started dating in November of 1992 and then married in 1997. She said she feels like she needs to be alone so she can think about what she wants in life. There were more things said but that was the jist of it. That Friday at work (we work in the same building together) it was a little weird. I did not know how to act around here at all. It was hard.
That night we talked some and she called everyone she knew just so she could talk to someone. Everyone from her friends, sisters, and even her mother. Well the next day she thought it best if she left, so she packed some clothes and that it was what she did. She was gone all day Saturday. Sunday she called and said she had some things that she would like to talk about and she would call me later. I told her I would like to talk to her face to face. She agreed and said she would stop by later.
When she finally arrived we proceeded to talk. I tried to figure out everything that was going on in her head and what she was thinking. I asked if I had done anything wrong, her answer was no. I asked if there was someone else, again no was her answer. The more we talked the better it got.
By the time we finshed talking and it was time for her to leave, both of us was taking it pretty hard. After she left I fell on my knees and prayed the hardest I ever prayed and GOD led me to do some things to better our marriage and give it hope. I sold the online business of web hosting I was running simply because it was taking up way to much time. I know that it had to be a factor in our marriage, but she still denies it. I was also not being the head like I was supposed to. So I prayed for forgiveness in that area and all my other faults.
Within about an hour she returned home with all her stuff and said she was sorry. I forgave her because that is what GOD does to us every time we turn away from him. We went in and sat down and talked. She proceeded to tell me about this guy that she was talking to online, that she had set up a meeting with and she had planned to stay gone long enough to see if she could go through with that then go from there. She also stated that this man was wanting to leave his wife and get my wife an apartment in his town which is about 5 hours from where we live. She told me everything and it hurt badly, but I had to love her because she did not go through with anything and for being so honest about it all.
After that I went through the process of selling my business and using the money to take us on a little getaway for the weekend. I wanted to take her back to where we went on our honeymoon. The weekend went great and we both had a great time, however two days after we had gotten back which was the 16th of March, she stated she was still having issues. She says that she just wants to be on her own and make her own decisions without having to worry about what everyone else thinks or if anyone cares. She stated that she was just wanting to do things her way, just be selfish. This struck me hard and the very next day after I got my paycheck I left work and tried to take off for a couple of days. I left her a note as to why and gave her the house key. This was a bad decision and it was defiantly clouded by anger and hate for what she said. The plan was to take off on then come back on the weekend, however I did not make it to the first night. I came home and of course she was upset because of the way I left, not because I left. I think it embarrassed her. I apologized and sought her forgiveness and the lords for stepping in the way and not listening. The next day she found an apartment and then we proceeded to move her in on the next day, which would be this past Saturday the 20th of March 2004. Things went weird from there.
On the first trip to her apartment I followed her in her car with my truck. Where she was supposed to turn to go to her apartment she didnt. She went straight. A few blocks down the road she pulled over and asked me if I seen them and I said I know where they are and led her there. The second trip to her apartment she almost did the same thing again. Then later as she made her final trip to get her clothes out of our apartment she made a wrong turn.
Then later that day she called because she could not get the bed assembled. So I went over and put it together for her. Then I fixed the tv and dvd setup. We talked a little bit, just not about what we were going through, mostly about her apartment and stuff. When I left she apologized for putting me through this and assured me that she still loves me a lot.
Later that night she called about she had washed one of her blankets for her bed and when she went to dry it the dryer didnt work. Wanted to know if I had any ideas. I didnt, but offered to come and get it and bring it back to dry it for her so she could have it. She said no that she had another blanket she could use, but thanks anyway.
The next morning as I was getting ready for church she called to ask about transferring some money in our accounts since she did not have internet yet. I was in the shower at the time so I called her a little after I got out. She was just stepping out of the shower when I called and her hot water quit working just as she put the shampoo in her hair. Needless to say she had to take and ice cold shower.
Later in the day after church and going out to eat with some of the members, she called looking for a cable and I said I would bring it to her. She still has a key to the house and knows where all the cables for the computer and tv stuff is at by the way. So I said I would bring it over. She then asked if I was hungry as she was about to fix dinner and I told her I was. Then she said, well wait just a little bit and I will fix dinner and then you can bring me that stuff and eat dinner with me. I said ok.
That all went well and I spent about three hours there talking about her apartment and helping her with some things around the house.
I have been praying earnestly for forgiveness for any sins that I may have knowingly or unknowingly done to cause what is happing. I know I have failed in so many ways and I just want a chance to try to make everything work. She on the other hand wont even seek counsel with me. She says this will give her time to think to even know if she wants to try and save our marriage or not.
She hugs me when I leave her place and we even kissed Saturday night before I left. Just a few soft loving kisses on the lips, but I felt that she still cares deeply for me. I want to give her the space she needs but I do not know how much space I need to give. I have prayed for guidance and comfort for both of us. I have to pray every time I think I should eat so that I can have an appetite. I have to pray for the LORD can give me a good nights rest. I am depending on him for everything. I am however constantly getting attacked by the devil.
I asked her if this had anything to do with the guy she was talking to and she says no. As honest as she has been with me I still honestly wonder and it is driving me crazy. I try so hard to put my worry and pain in his hands, but it is so hard.
[font="]I am sorry this is so long but I just needed to pour out my heart. I am sure there is some details that I am leaving out which I am sure will be explained later. Both of us are in need of prayer and guidance. I believe faithfully that we are meant to be together, its just that the journey to get there is not an easy one.[/font]
I'm so glad to hear that you and your wife are back together. Counseling will help in the healing process. You stated that everything has not hit you yet. When it does and it will, read Ephesians 6:13-16 Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of rightousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 
