self respect

[dawnsday]

THIS HAS BEEN EDITED FOR CONTENT


this is a poem about sex
and the lack of respect involved in it
cause we keep givin it to any twit
who comes up with some line of bull
this is the poem where i declare
my past is in my past and at last
i can crash alone at home in my bed
and rest my head knowing i am going
to be okay i’m better off this way
though sometimes i’m lonley
i can just turn my cryin into rhymin
and later on i’ll be fine and elide the horrid crimes
i played upon myself
because
because
because you know what
i was loose
looking for love while being used
never seeing what was right in front
of my eyes
a bunch of nocuous lies lying
next to some man thinkin i can make him
see me
and if i give it up he’ll believe in me
and fall in love with me when in reality
he’s just usin me
abusing me for his pleasin leavin me grievin
in the morning after the sounds laughter laughin at me
next night bettin someone else would be at me
and grabbin me and i’d give in so easy
cause i was so naive
and all he would need is a tequilla night and a fight
with my mom to get me running into
somebody else’s arms
another night another guy
another lame line about how i inspire they
to rearrange their ways playing games every day
i had to find a way to change it which meant
i had to admit it, commit it as truth
because as much as i was used i was using them too
to get through the night to feel alright
for a moment in time in my life and every tear i cried
was caused by my own lack of self pride or dignaty
and simply the respect they were giving me
was still more then i gave myself
i can’t go on with it i can’t handle it
there’s got to be more to it i’m sure of it and it all comes down
to lookin around at who i am and who i can be
and want to be and i’ve got to see what i got comin to me
is lovin the right way see
i believe that if i want to be seen
i gotta first get right with god
then get right with me
i got to think i’m worth loving
shoving aside the lies i tell myself to hide
the hell workin it’s way through my mind in my head
leavin me dead inside
after all this time
i’ve finally been learnin that
if they want me they gotta earn it cause i deserve it
everyone deserves it
every chick and guy here is worth it
but we gotta start servin our hearts first
before our lust desires and loins
before givin what we got to something that’s wrong
to someone whose never fought for us
to give us love give it up and fix up our souls
and let them know we aint gonna go
that easy and if takin the time don’t please em then
forget them, leave em standing
ego dismantled they can’t handle it anyway
we got to demand the respect we left behind
since the first time no we can’t rewind the timeline
but we can start fresh line
startin here with a look in the mirror
wipe away tears and repair what we have left
turn away from our shame and our pain
leave the game
and find our self respect