Self Pity is a Pitfall

[If Not For Grace]

~ MORNING LIGHT ~ (Meditations to Begin Your Day) ~

What poison is to food, self-pity is to life.

~ Oliver C. Wilson ~

Sometimes life presents you with a difficult loss, a great disappointment, or a seemingly insurmountable challenge. Life is filled with a great many unknowns—both wonderful surprises as well as unexpected disasters.

Self-pity is, essentially, an attitude of ingratitude. Self- pity looks at what you cannot do, what you do not or cannot have, what you have lost, and what you cannot change. Self-pity is absorbed and selfish, for self-pity says, “Look at me. I feel awful. My life is a mess. I will never get better.” On and on self-pity goes, starting out as a trickling stream and gradually swelling into a raging flood.

A positive attitude is the dreaded and hated enemy of self-pity. A positive attitude focuses on what you can do, what you do and can have, what you have gained, and what you can change. A positive attitude displays care for yourself and others. A positive attitude seeks and sees progress. A positive attitude motivates and encourages. A positive attitude is the perfect companion to living a physically, mentally, and spiritually fulfilling life. Today, you have a choice: feel pity or embrace positivity.

Starting now, I will get off my pity pot and live life with both a positive attitude and an attitude of gratitude.

 

[If Not For Grace]

You are reading from the book Touchstones

The fir tree has no choice about starting its life in the crack of a rock.... What [nourishment] it finds is often meager, and above the ground appears a twisted trunk, grown in irregular spurts, marred by dead and broken branches, and bent far to one side by the battering winds. Yet at the top ... some twigs hold their green needles year after year, giving proof that - misshapen, imperfect, scarred - the tree lives.
—Harriet Arrow

... We often wish we had been born into better circumstances or blame our parents for our problems. Like the fir tree we could say, "If only I had taken sprout in a fertile meadow, life would be easier." "If only I had had a better life as a boy . . ." "If only I didn't have my particular hardships . . ."

By accepting the facts of our own lives, we mature into feelings of joy and pleasure alongside our griefs. Every man has to struggle with his own unique set of circumstances, even if they are not fair. Fairness is not an issue. Reality is what we have to deal with.

I will accept life on its own terms and rejoice in it.

 

[arabianhorselover]

Thank you. As a person who has spent much of her life in a state of self-pity, This if a good reminder.

 

[If Not For Grace]

 

[If Not For Grace]

We all feel self pity once in awhile- just like anger..we don't need to camp out there, if we do it drags us into a pit of depression or worse that we have to drag ourselves out of-just learn to let it go instead

 

[If Not For Grace]

Gratitude is the cure for self-pity

 

[If Not For Grace]

 

[If Not For Grace]

when we know better, we do better..

 

[If Not For Grace]

THE FALSE COMFORT OF SELF-PITY

Self-pity is one of the most unhappy and consuming defects that we know. It is a bar to all spiritual progress and can cut off all effective communication with our fellows because of its inordinate demands for attention and sympathy. It is a maudlin form of martyrdom, which we can ill afford.

~ AS BILL SEES IT, p. 238 ~

The false comfort of self-pity screens me from reality only momentarily and then demands, like a drug, that I take an ever bigger dose. If I succumb to this it could lead to a relapse into drinking. What can I do? One certain antidote is to turn my attention, however slightly at first, toward others who are genuinely less fortunate than I, preferably other alcoholics. In the same degree that I actively demonstrate my empathy with them, I will lessen my own exaggerated suffering

 

[If Not For Grace]

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go By Melody Beattie


Self Love

"I woke up this morning and I had a hard time for a while," said one recovering man. "Then I realized it was because I wasn't liking myself very much." ...Recovering people often say: I just don't like myself. When will I start liking myself?

The answer is: start now. We can learn to be gentle, loving, and nurturing with ourselves. Of all the recovery behaviors we're striving to attain, loving ourselves may be the most difficult, and the most important. If we are habitually harsh and critical toward ourselves, learning to be gentle with ourselves may require dedicated effort.

But what a valuable venture!

By not liking ourselves, we may be perpetuating the discounting, neglect, or abuse we received in childhood from the important people in our life. We didn't like what happened then, but find ourselves copying those who mistreated us by treating ourselves poorly.

We can stop the pattern. We can begin giving ourselves the loving, respectful treatment we deserve.

Instead of criticizing ourselves, we can tell ourselves we performed well enough.

We can wake up in the morning and tell ourselves we deserve a good day.

We can make a commitment to take good care of ourselves throughout the day.

We can recognize that were deserving of love. We can do loving things for ourselves.

We can love other people and let them love us.

People, who truly love themselves do not become destructively self-centered. They do not abuse others. They do not stop growing and changing. People who love themselves well, learn to love others well too. They continually grow into healthier people, learning that their love was appropriately placed.

Today, I will love myself. If I get caught in the old pattern of not liking myself, I will find a way to get out.