Seeking advice on Presbyterians

[hurtubise]

First some background:
I was raised protestant, and was relatively devout by most standards. I was youth group leader, attended vacation bible school, prosletyzed to my peers, and generally did all the "right" things associated with a young devout Christian. Today, I am more accurately classified as agnostic or agnostic theist, as I choose to believe there IS a greater organizing force, but it is beyond my capacity to verify neither the truth of my own belief nor the truth of other same/similar beliefs. I am not against any religion per se, although I do admit some seem to be less "rational" than others.

Now to the crux:
I am getting married in a few months to a relatively devout Christian. She has no problems with my beliefs and I do not have any with hers. We share very much identical values, although through slightly different interpretations. She is adamant that we are married by a Presbyterian minister, and although I have no objections to that, I am unsure as to how I should present myself to him. Should I cast myself more as the prodigal son, open to returning to the faith (not a completely lie), or the agnostic unsure any one religion is more true than another (closer to the truth).

Thanks for any advice,
-H

 

[WashedClean]

Hi there and Welcome to CF

Interesting question... I would say to go with the former because as long as you have a relatively open mind, then you are not lying. I don't know what Presbyterian's require in order to be married in their church. I was raised Methodist and my husband Catholic, but we were married in a Methodist church and they really didn't ask us any questions. I wish they had.

God bless you as you seek to know him! And congratulations on your pending marriage

 

[OldChurchGuy]

First some background:
I was raised protestant, and was relatively devout by most standards. I was youth group leader, attended vacation bible school, prosletyzed to my peers, and generally did all the "right" things associated with a young devout Christian. Today, I am more accurately classified as agnostic or agnostic theist, as I choose to believe there IS a greater organizing force, but it is beyond my capacity to verify neither the truth of my own belief nor the truth of other same/similar beliefs. I am not against any religion per se, although I do admit some seem to be less "rational" than others.

Now to the crux:
I am getting married in a few months to a relatively devout Christian. She has no problems with my beliefs and I do not have any with hers. We share very much identical values, although through slightly different interpretations. She is adamant that we are married by a Presbyterian minister, and although I have no objections to that, I am unsure as to how I should present myself to him. Should I cast myself more as the prodigal son, open to returning to the faith (not a completely lie), or the agnostic unsure any one religion is more true than another (closer to the truth).

Thanks for any advice,
-H

Is your fiance a member of PCA or PCUSA? PCA tends to be more literal in their interpretation of the Bible and, therefore, less open to other views.

PCUSA tends to be more mainstream in their acceptance of people.

My personal experience with the Presbyterian church has been that being truthful with the minister will go much further in allowing you to explore your faith than presenting a false face. Best of luck and keep me posted, if you wish.

Sincerely,

OldChurchGuy

 

[BigNorsk]

A devout Christian would not go against God proscription of marrying an unbeliever. Maybe you meant she does some things like goes to church once in awhile or something. But devout to me would mean a follower of Christ and it was laid out quite clearly in the bible that light has nothing to do with darkness and one should not be unequally yoked.

2Co 6:14-15 NET.
(14) Do not become partners with those who do not believe, for what partnership is there between righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship does light have with darkness?
(15) And what agreement does Christ have with Beliar? Or what does a believer share in common with an unbeliever?

As for what to tell the pastor, I would suggest the truth. Starting a marriage with lies isn't a good way to start out.

Marv

 

[Speculative]

Hi hurtubise. Welcome to Christianforums

I've been involved in several Presbyterian denominations (PCA, PCUSA and EPC) and can tell you, I agree with OldChurchGuy.

I think that, generally, you would find a PCUSA pastor more accepting of your views than a PCA, or OPC pastor.

I do agree, also that, whatever the case, it would not be a good idea to lie or to try to cover up your views, regardless of the pastor's position.

Okay, I've sat here and thought about this and I think I'm going to send you a private message. God Bless

 

[hurtubise]

Hi Everyone,

Thank you so much for all the advice on my little dilemma. It appears my fiance belongs to PCUSA, which hopefully means I can be completely truthful with her pastor regarding my beliefs.
We will be meeting with him this afternoon personally for the first time, and I will definitely post an update afterwards.

-H

 

[heron]

My personal experience with the Presbyterian church has been that being truthful with the minister will go much further in allowing you to explore your faith than presenting a false face.

I've been involved in several Presbyterian denominations (PCA, PCUSA and EPC) and can tell you, I agree with OldChurchGuy.

Ditto. I think they stand stronger behind the many verses on honesty than the one verse on yoking. It will completely depend on the individual pastor.

Some have a strong conviction for agreeing spiritually, doing budgets ahead, having counseling ahead, etc... but if he has already agreed to marry you, then he is probably fine with it. Don't lie to him just to make the path smoother.

--

Congratulations, btw! I hope it all goes well.

 

[talitha]

Agreeing completely with BigNorsk - and this part bears repeating:

As for what to tell the pastor, I would suggest the truth. Starting a marriage with lies isn't a good way to start out.

blessings in Jesus
tal