seared conscience

[RobertZ]

could someone with a seared conscience suddenly become aware of what they had done to themselves with years and years of exposure to pornography and then out of fear of it try to get saved but not be able to?

 

[tillyanne]

Well...
I would say that the "fear" and "suddenly being aware" is evidence of the Holy Spirit convicting that person. The bible talks about Gods kindness leading us to repentance.

If that person responds to the Holy Spirit convicting them, and repents, and makes Jesus Lord of their life, then God won't reject them. He will forgive their sin, and purify them, and continue loving them as they resist temptation and work out their salvation.

Is that what you meant?

 

[Criada]

could someone with a seared conscience suddenly become aware of what they had done to themselves with years and years of exposure to pornography and then out of fear of it try to get saved but not be able to?

No
As Tillyanne says, it is very possible to be convicted after years of sin, and if that happens, fear is a natural reaction.
But, 'try to get saved but not be able to' is not possible. The Bible says that God wants everyone to be saved, He doesn't turn anyone away. If we repent, He forgives and makes us new.
Revelation 3:20
Here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with him, and he with me.
Wanting to be saved means opening the door to Him, and if we do that He always comes in.

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

He not only forgives, he makes us pure and righteous.. the sin is gone.

God loves every single person that He has made enough to die for them.. He will never turn away anyone who comes to Him.

 

[RobertZ]

Here is my problem guys, I am 35yrs old and I grew up in church plus I went to christian School for 12yrs and then to Bible college.

I guess you could say my exposure to the Gospel has probably been more than a lot of other people. The thing that bothers me now is the fact that I can remember resisting the Holy Spirit sooooo many times throughout my life. I thought I was saved at the age of 10 but I didnt think it was real because as I said I continued to feel heavy convictions to get saved time and time again, the BAD part of this is that I resisted because I was too concerned with what other people would think about me if I went forward at the alter call. Its like I kept telling myself, (Not Today......im having to much fun I will get saved another day.)


Years pass by and the convictions got less and less noticable and I slipped into a very heavy addiction of pornography for 9-10yrs. I am not talking about sneaking a peak every now and then either, I looked at this stuff for HOURS a day (every day of the week) for that many years! Now you tell me what that would do to your conscience? a seared conscience cant even communicate with the Lord because you cant feel any sorrow for your sins and if you no longer grieve over your sins then you cannot repent. I was so bad off I had convinced myself that this lifestyle was ok with God and he wouldnt really mind. The Bible says its a conscience seared over with a hot iron.

Now during this time I cant say that I experienced much if any concern over the state of my soul, as a matter of fact it seems like the Holy Spirit was no longer bothering with me during this time and that scares me because I have been researching and I see that a man or woman can hit a point in their life of continual stubborn resisting the Holy Spirit until he finally grievs the Spirit completely away from him never to convict that person again. This of course would leave the individual damned well before the grave.


I was reading about reprobates and the Bible has places where it says God will give man up to their sins and the lust of their desires at this stage since they dont like to retain the knowledge of the Lord.


Guys im terrified, 9-10yrs of carless sinning like this and its Like God isnt even trying to interfere with my lifestyle anymore.

For some reason though I started thinking about the rapture a lot and some of my friends were talking about it and we were agreeing that it would be soon. This all got me thinking and suddenly it was like an alarm went off inside of my head that I had always intended to get saved but never did!


That night while at work I was in tears, all I could think about was the times that I felt the Holy Spirit convicting me and me resisting. I was begging God to send him back to me but I just knew it was too late.

The next day I got up out of the bed and went over to my father in laws house who is a decon at our church, I broke down crying in front of him and told him I had never truly been saved. He prayed for me and then I prayed the sinners prayer (but because I felt so numb inside it did not seem sincere and its as if God was laughing at me saying yeah right! it doesnt work that way! you dont get to have your fun and then come to me when your afraid!)

Proverbs 6:15 Therefore his calamity will come suddenly; Instantly he will be broken and there will be no healing.





So guys it seems that I came out of fear rather than conviction and grief over my sins. The Holy Spirit convicts us of sins which leads to salvation. I dont believe that the Holy Spirit convicts a person with fear seeing he is a gentle spirit who does not force himself on anyone.


Guys I have been a mess since trying to come back to God this past November, every day that goes by I seem to be slipping farther and farther away and all hope of me being saved is fading away. I hardened myself for so many years that its still hard for me to feel any Godly remorse or sorrow over my sinful lifestyle.


Nothing I do can bring Gods convicting spirit back to me either since salvation is a free gift. What a stupid thing I did, to be cut off so early in life.





Solomon, having showed how dangerous it is to hearken to the temptations of Satan, here declares how dangerous it is not to hearken to the calls of God. Christ himself is Wisdom, is Wisdoms. Three sorts of persons are here called by Him: 1. Simple ones. Sinners are fond of their simple notions of good and evil, their simple prejudices against the ways of God, and flatter themselves in their wickedness. 2. Scorners. Proud, jovial people, that make a jest of every thing. Scoffers at religion, that run down every thing sacred and serious. 3. Fools. Those are the worst of fools that hate to be taught, and have a rooted dislike to serious godliness. The precept is plain; Turn you at my reproof. We do not make a right use of reproofs, if we do not turn from evil to that which is good.

It may well be asked, how long men mean to proceed in such a perilous path, when the uncertainty of life and the consequences of dying without Christ are considered? Now sinners live at ease, and set sorrow at defiance; but their calamity will come. Now God is ready to hear their prayers; but then they shall cry in vain. Are we yet despisers of wisdom?

 

[Winter]

Hello Robert,

I can see you are in alot of pain over this. It seems like you have the following concerns:

- You are concerned that God is no longer working in your life; you feel as if He has given up on you.

- You are concerned that your fear stems more from not being saved as opposed to not recognizing the harmful effects of porgnography.

These are your issues, correct? So let's address them.

First, keep this in mind if you forget anything else. God NEVER, EVER GIVES UP ON US. As long as we are breathing on this earth, our mission in this journey of life is to grow and work on our spiritual selves. We may not get it right today or tomorrow, but as long as the soul strives to improve him/herself in earnest and with sincerity, God won't give up on you. Never. Even when we sin. Every time we fall, Jesus extends His hand to pick us up right off the floor. Again and again. Noone said our journey would be perfect. None of us are, but as long as we strive to keep trying and do so with sincerity, God forgives us - time and time and time again.

Think of it this way. A mother loves her child unconditionally. No matter how many times her child falls and does wrong, she still loves her child. No matter how many times her child falls, she still forgives him/her. A mother wants her child to improve - a mother wants her child to grow and learn from her/his mistakes. Now think of God's love. God's love is even more profound and more wise than a mother's love. Do you think that God could give you any less?

I realize there are some theological differences concering the notion of being saved, so please forgive me if my perspective confuses you, since mine is vastly different than yours - but let me at least offer my advice, since its all I really understand it to be. My understanding of being saved is that it occurs upon death when we arrive in judgement before God, as opposed to it being an instantaneous moment. The reason is because we are going to sin whether we are saved today, tomorrow, or within the next hour. Our life is a blueprint - and God looks at our entire life - what we did, what we thought. He reads our hearts to see if we were loving people - and it is that which determines when we are saved - at the end of our journey - not at a particular moment. So you can still be saved because your life isn't finished yet. Life is work. You work to improve your heart, mind, and soul. And God never gives up on you. He wants you to improve. He wants you to keep working. So that way on judgement day He can examine your life and determine if you worked hard improving your spiritual self, persevered with sincerity, had faith, and walked this earth with a loving heart - the culmination of it all, determines your salvation. Jesus died on the cross for us so that the opportunity for God to forgive us will continue again and again and again - until we get it right. (again, I hope I haven't confused you with all of that - I just wanted to give you some hopeful advice).

Now, let's look at the other issue you seem to be struggling with. I think in order for one to give up on pornography, one has to see why its bad. We know its bad because our Christian faith says its bad - but we have to really look at why its bad.

Pornography is a defilement of God's creation. God created human beings with love - he wants his creation to be respected. Sexuality and nudity are things that God created, but they must be respected. Pornography doesn't respect these things. Pornography debases, disrespects, and defiles God's creation of the human body. Its kind of like dumping trash in the middle of a beautiful valley that God created. It lacks love. It lacks respect. Its like saying "I don't respect God's creation, so I'm going to defile it." That hurts God. Women that pose nude are somebody's daughter, somebody's sister, somebody's mother. They are God's children. God's creation. It hurts God to know that His children are participating in things like that. Again, there is nothing wrong with nudity and sexuality - but its the way it is treated that determines whether its defiled. Is there respect for God's creation? Is there love?

So until one comes to this kind of understanding, one will never see anything wrong with it. And God knows that. He can read a person's heart. My advice is to first change your perspective with pornography - understand why it hurts God - then you will withdraw from it, and that's when the Holy Spirit will illuminate you.

I hope I was able to offer some help and advice. God bless you brother - and may the Lord always guide you. God loves you very much and He never gives up on you. Jesus is proud of you - for your courage and willingness to seek answers. I will pray for you.

- Winter

 

[RobertZ]

Hello Robert,

I can see you are in alot of pain over this. It seems like you have the following concerns:

- You are concerned that God is no longer working in your life; you feel as if He has given up on you.

- You are concerned that your fear stems more from not being saved as opposed to not recognizing the harmful effects of porgnography.

These are your issues, correct? So let's address them.

First, keep this in mind if you forget anything else. God NEVER, EVER GIVES UP ON US. As long as we are breathing on this earth, our mission in this journey of life is to grow and work on our spiritual selves. We may not get it right today or tomorrow, but as long as the soul strives to improve him/herself in earnest and with sincerity, God won't give up on you. Never. Even when we sin. Every time we fall, Jesus extends His hand to pick us up right off the floor. Again and again. Noone said our journey would be perfect. None of us are, but as long as we strive to keep trying and do so with sincerity, God forgives us - time and time and time again.

Think of it this way. A mother loves her child unconditionally. No matter how many times her child falls and does wrong, she still loves her child. No matter how many times her child falls, she still forgives him/her. A mother wants her child to improve - a mother wants her child to grow and learn from her/his mistakes. Now think of God's love. God's love is even more profound and more wise than a mother's love. Do you think that God could give you any less?

I realize there are some theological differences concering the notion of being saved, so please forgive me if my perspective confuses you, since mine is vastly different than yours - but let me at least offer my advice, since its all I really understand it to be. My understanding of being saved is that it occurs upon death when we arrive in judgement before God, as opposed to it being an instantaneous moment. The reason is because we are going to sin whether we are saved today, tomorrow, or within the next hour. Our life is a blueprint - and God looks at our entire life - what we did, what we thought. He reads our hearts to see if we were loving people - and it is that which determines when we are saved - at the end of our journey - not at a particular moment. So you can still be saved because your life isn't finished yet. Life is work. You work to improve your heart, mind, and soul. And God never gives up on you. He wants you to improve. He wants you to keep working. So that way on judgement day He can examine your life and determine if you worked hard improving your spiritual self, persevered with sincerity, had faith, and walked this earth with a loving heart - the culmination of it all, determines your salvation. Jesus died on the cross for us so that the opportunity for God to forgive us will continue again and again and again - until we get it right. (again, I hope I haven't confused you with all of that - I just wanted to give you some hopeful advice).

Now, let's look at the other issue you seem to be struggling with. I think in order for one to give up on pornography, one has to see why its bad. We know its bad because our Christian faith says its bad - but we have to really look at why its bad.

Pornography is a defilement of God's creation. God created human beings with love - he wants his creation to be respected. Sexuality and nudity are things that God created, but they must be respected. Pornography doesn't respect these things. Pornography debases, disrespects, and defiles God's creation of the human body. Its kind of like dumping trash in the middle of a beautiful valley that God created. It lacks love. It lacks respect. Its like saying "I don't respect God's creation, so I'm going to defile it." That hurts God. Women that pose nude are somebody's daughter, somebody's sister, somebody's mother. They are God's children. God's creation. It hurts God to know that His children are participating in things like that. Again, there is nothing wrong with nudity and sexuality - but its the way it is treated that determines whether its defiled. Is there respect for God's creation? Is there love?

So until one comes to this kind of understanding, one will never see anything wrong with it. And God knows that. He can read a person's heart. My advice is to first change your perspective with pornography - understand why it hurts God - then you will withdraw from it, and that's when the Holy Spirit will illuminate you.

I hope I was able to offer some help and advice. God bless you brother - and may the Lord always guide you. God loves you very much and He never gives up on you. Jesus is proud of you - for your courage and willingness to seek answers. I will pray for you.

- Winter

Thank you, that was a nice reply and I appreciate your kind advice and taking out time for a stranger.


You see, porn is no longer an issue for me. I gave it up and asked God to forgive me and save me but I still have this huge hole in my heart and I dont feel forgiven, I feel that im under his judgment because my conscience was so seared that I do not know if I really repented in sincerity. I know that we do have differing ideas on how salvation is obtained so you may have a hard time understanding what Im talking about since we have different views.

As for God not giving up on people this is true to an extant but the Bible does talk about reprobates etc......people who God gives over to their sins when they continue in rebellion twards him for so long.

 

[Winter]

The fact that porn is no longer an issue, the fact that you are concerned with your salvation, and the fact that you have the courage to seek answers, seems very sincere to me indeed. If you weren't truly sorry, you wouldn't have given it up. But you did give it up - because you were sorry. That fact alone is sincere. You are still wrestling with this - but that was your past. Focus on who you are today. You are a brand new person - embrace and celebrate that. Your conscious is seared because you are pained by your past - and you are afraid that God will still hold you to that. But forgiveness is forgiveness. Trust that. God never gives up on you and will always forgive you. If people can forgive one another, so can God forgive his children whom He loves unconditionally.

May you find the answers you seek and may God guide you to what you need to find. My prayers are with you. God bless.

 

[RobertZ]

The fact that porn is no longer an issue, the fact that you are concerned with your salvation, and the fact that you have the courage to seek answers, seems very sincere to me indeed. If you weren't truly sorry, you wouldn't have given it up. But you did give it up - because you were sorry. That fact alone is sincere. You are still wrestling with this - but that was your past. Focus on who you are today. You are a brand new person - embrace and celebrate that. Your conscious is seared because you are pained by your past - and you are afraid that God will still hold you to that. But forgiveness is forgiveness. Trust that. God never gives up on you and will always forgive you. If people can forgive one another, so can God forgive his children whom He loves unconditionally.

May you find the answers you seek and may God guide you to what you need to find. My prayers are with you. God bless.

But take this into account-



Note verses Hebrews 15-17: "Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; lest there be any fornicator, or profane person, as Esau, who for one morsel of meat sold his birthright. For ye know how that afterward, when he would have inherited the blessing, he was rejected: for he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears."


Esau is the outstanding example of one who had full knowledge of the covenant of grace, but who in the hour of stress put a higher value upon personal comfort than upon the blessing of the Lord. When awakened at last to see his folly in some measure, he wept and pleaded for the blessing he had once bargained away; but it was too late. His father had given the blessing to Jacob, and could not repent. This, as I understand it, is what is meant by the solemn words, "he found no place of repentance, though he sought it carefully with tears." It is not that he himself could not repent of his former levity and profaneness; but he could not find a place of repentance in the mind of his father. However badly Jacob had acted, Isaac now knew it was the will of God that the blessing of Abraham should be given to the younger son. The lesson is a serious one. Divine things are not to be trifled with. Mercies despised at one time may be sought in vain later on. It behooves us all to be real, to be in earnest while it is called today.

 

[Winter]

I'm not sure how to answer that, as I'm not good with Bible interpretation, but I will take a look at it and examine it some more - it has my interest. I wish I could help you there. I have Bible verses that support forgiveness in a fundamental and more simplistic way, but it would seem that the Bible verse you presented would negate it all. Its just a matter of what verse one wants to rely on, for example I rely on St. John 1:9. I'm not a theologian, so I do my best to provide encouragement and Christian advice since this is a Depression subforum. Maybe the Theology subforum could help you with that interpretation. Have you spoken to a minister about this? Perhaps they could assist you with that interpretation.

May the Lord lead you and guide you.