Scripture references to pray for a servants heart toward husband selfishness??

[lady4theallmighty]

My husband has some very selfish tendencies. God is working in me to release my own selfishness and create a servants heart toward my husband and this includes not reacting poorly to my husbands selfishness (after all, isn't this what we are supposed to do anyway as Christians?). What are some scriptures that I can pray through to help me in this area? To bring me comfort, to remind me of my role, to change my heart into a servants heart towards my husband, etc. I'm not here to ask for advice on how to deal with selfishness, I'm asking strictly for specific scripture from the bible from a "wiser" christian then I I still consider myself a baby christian so I don't always know where to go in my bible to get these

Blessings and thank you for stopping by!
SF

 

[DamagedNothing]

I'm kind of a baby Christian too and I don't know of any specific scriptures that may help.. But the last time I was struggling with my role in marriage I shut myself in a room and cried out to God and it did me a world of good. Maybe if you take a Bible with you and pray for an answer you'll find it. Sometimes I get my answers that way. I'm sorry, I know this isn't the kind of answer you were looking for, but this question has been sitting here for a while now and no one has responded.. I thought maybe I'd try to help.

 

[HuntingMan]

Likewise, wives, be in subjection to your own husbands, so that if any do not obey the Word, they may also be won without the Word by the conduct of the wives, having witnessed your chaste behavior in the fear of God. Of whom let not be the adorning of garments, or outward braiding of hair and wearing of gold, or of putting on clothing, but let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, the meek and quiet spirit, which is of great price in the sight of God. For so once indeed the holy women hoping in God adorned themselves, being in subjection to their own husbands; as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord; whose children you became, doing good and fearing no terror.
(1Pe 3:1-6 MKJV)

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[HuntingMan]

Who can find a woman of virtue? For her value is far above rubies.
The heart of her husband trusts safely in her, so that he shall have no need of plunder.

She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
She seeks wool and flax, and works willingly with her hands.
She is like the merchants' ships; she brings her food from afar.
She also rises while it is still night, and gives food to her household, and a share to her young women.
She considers a field, and buys it; with the fruit of her hands she plants a vineyard.
She binds her loins with strength, and makes her arms strong.
She sees that her merchandise is good; her lamp does not go out by night.

She lays her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.
She stretches out her hand to the poor; yea, she reaches forth her hands to the needy.
She is not afraid of the snow for her household; for all her household are clothed with scarlet.
She makes herself coverings; her clothing is silk and purple.
Her husband is known in the gates, when he sits among the elders of the land.
She makes fine linen and sells it, and delivers girdles to the merchants.
Strength and honor are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

She opens her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
She looks well to the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.
Her sons rise up and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her.
Many daughters have done well, but you excel them all.

Favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears Jehovah, she shall be praised.
Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.
(Pro 31:10-31 MKJV)

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[lady4theallmighty]

I'm kind of a baby Christian too and I don't know of any specific scriptures that may help.. But the last time I was struggling with my role in marriage I shut myself in a room and cried out to God and it did me a world of good. Maybe if you take a Bible with you and pray for an answer you'll find it. Sometimes I get my answers that way. I'm sorry, I know this isn't the kind of answer you were looking for, but this question has been sitting here for a while now and no one has responded.. I thought maybe I'd try to help.

I do cry out to God often, as I did this morning and He is always faithful to me. I haven't taken my bible though and asked for answers, so I will definitely add that to my prayer time! THANK YOU for taking the time to respond, it's very comforting to have a place like CF to come to for support!
God bless you,
SF

 

[lady4theallmighty]

HuntingMan,
God bless you my friend! I have read these scriptures before, forgot about them, and even if I did remember them I would not have known where to find them! I'm writing down the addresses in the front of my bible as well as highlight them in my bible!! Thank you for taking the time to read my thread and for you heart to share the scriptures with me.
Blessings to you!
SF

 

[HuntingMan]

HuntingMan,
God bless you my friend! I have read these scriptures before, forgot about them, and even if I did remember them I would not have known where to find them! I'm writing down the addresses in the front of my bible as well as highlight them in my bible!! Thank you for taking the time to read my thread and for you heart to share the scriptures with me.
Blessings to you!
SF

I love that proverbs passage.
It really presents such a wonderful picture of what a wife and woman can be.
Her price being 'far above rubies' to me says that this sort of wife and woman is more valuable than any treasure a man can have and if HE is wise he will treasure her more than anything this earth has to offer.

It is a VERY wise man and husband who recognizes such a woman.
And an even wiser man who does what he should to make her always want to remain this way.

God bless

 

[janny108]

I agree this could be a common problem with guys. Course that would depend on the guy.

My husband can do great things, if he would just do them. He's very capable.
Jan

 

[FaithfulWife]

lady4thealmighty,

First, I just wanted to commend you on having this attitude. Your husband is the Lord's and the Lord will deal with him in His time--but meanwhile you are responsible for yourself whether your husband chooses to be obedient to the Lord or not. I commend you for being personally responsible and for being well on your way to being a husband-lover! (Titus 2:4)

Here is the verse that has really helped keep me:
Ephesians 5:33 (New King James Version)

Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

The reason this verse has been helpful for me is that as a woman who knows my husband intimately, I have the unique privilege of seeing each and every one of his flaws UP CLOSE--and it would be so easy to slip into nagging and complaining that "he never does this" and "he always does that". Well we ALL have those little flaws! We ALL have areas in our life that are less that attractive to someone who knows us intimately! But the fact of the matter is that it is NOT my job to "fix him" and it IS my job to RESPECT MY HUSBAND.

God has been very specific about what pleases Him in this instance, and what pleases Him is that I honor my covenant and respect my husband. Personally, I love it when God makes it so clear about how to be obedient, and He does not say, "Oh you know--if he's being a good christian and obeying me, then you can respect him, but if he's being selfish or a little lazy then you have the right to be disrespectful." Nope, it's clear: " ...let the wife see that she respects her husband."

To me, respect involves honor and obedience--and by that I don't mean blind obedience and slavery but rather making the conscious decision to be subject to him. I'm not subject to the other christian men in my church, or to all men in general, but to my HUSBAND. He can hear my counsel, but in the end it is HIS job to be the federal head and it is MY job to be subject to him and respect his position of authority. Now, anyone who knows me knows that I'm not the wimpy, passive type--in my mind submission is similar to a Clydesdale mare with her foal...she has all the power, strength and ability to be truly a force to be dealt with, and yet around her foal she is gentle and nurturing.

And in my mind, honoring a person is similar. I know my husband well enough to know all his weaknesses and flaws. I could easily choose to gossip about him, complain to other women under the guise of "praying for him", etc. but instead "honoring" means acknowledging and keeping in the forefront of my mind the GOOD QUALITIES and the characteristics that are honorable. Thankfully I married wisely and my dear hubby has many!! So a lot of "respecting" has to do with the mind (renewing the mind) and deciding to do it--but a lot of "respecting" also has to do with actions. I have to also ACT like I respect him.

Sooooo...see what I mean? One little verse just says SO much. Whenever I start to feel like I'm losing the path, I go back to that verse.

~~FaithfulWife

 

[Robinsegg]

1 Peter 3 (whole chapter) New Living Translation

Wives
1 In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands. Then, even if some refuse to obey the Good News, your godly lives will speak to them without any words. They will be won over 2 by observing your pure and reverent lives.
3 Don’t be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. 4 You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God. 5 This is how the holy women of old made themselves beautiful. They trusted God and accepted the authority of their husbands. 6 For instance, Sarah obeyed her husband, Abraham, and called him her master. You are her daughters when you do what is right without fear of what your husbands might do.
Husbands


7 In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered.
All Christians


8 Finally, all of you should be of one mind. Sympathize with each other. Love each other as brothers and sisters.[a] Be tenderhearted, and keep a humble attitude. 9 Don’t repay evil for evil. Don’t retaliate with insults when people insult you. Instead, pay them back with a blessing. That is what God has called you to do, and he will bless you for it. 10 For the Scriptures say,
“If you want to enjoy life
and see many happy days,
keep your tongue from speaking evil
and your lips from telling lies.
11 Turn away from evil and do good.
Search for peace, and work to maintain it.
12 The eyes of the Lord watch over those who do right,
and his ears are open to their prayers.
But the Lord turns his face
against those who do evil.”[b]
Suffering for Doing Good


13 Now, who will want to harm you if you are eager to do good? 14 But even if you suffer for doing what is right, God will reward you for it. So don’t worry or be afraid of their threats. 15 Instead, you must worship Christ as Lord of your life. And if someone asks about your Christian hope, always be ready to explain it. 16 But do this in a gentle and respectful way.[c] Keep your conscience clear. Then if people speak against you, they will be ashamed when they see what a good life you live because you belong to Christ. 17 Remember, it is better to suffer for doing good, if that is what God wants, than to suffer for doing wrong!
18 Christ suffered[d] for our sins once for all time. He never sinned, but he died for sinners to bring you safely home to God. He suffered physical death, but he was raised to life in the Spirit.[e]
19 So he went and preached to the spirits in prison—20 those who disobeyed God long ago when God waited patiently while Noah was building his boat. Only eight people were saved from drowning in that terrible flood.[f] 21 And that water is a picture of baptism, which now saves you, not by removing dirt from your body, but as a response to God from[g] a clean conscience. It is effective because of the resurrection of Jesus Christ.
22 Now Christ has gone to heaven. He is seated in the place of honor next to God, and all the angels and authorities and powers accept his authority.

 

[Robinsegg]

http://bibleresources.bible.com/passagesearchresults.php?passage1=Psalm+37:1-8&version1=31Psalm 37:1-8 New Living Translation

1 [a] Do not fret because of evil men
or be envious of those who do wrong; 2 for like the grass they will soon wither,
like green plants they will soon die away.
3 Trust in the LORD and do good;
dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture.
4 Delight yourself in the LORD
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
5 Commit your way to the LORD;
trust in him and he will do this:
6 He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn,
the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.
7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when men succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.
8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath;
do not fret—it leads only to evil.

 

[nowhereville]

This is a very difficult thing. A man needs to be respected. It is hard to respect someone who thinks only of themselves. I respect somethings about my spouse but I do not respect him (which by the way makes submission very difficult).

I keep everything in a twenty four hour time frame - forgetting what has past and not expecting anything in the future (birthdays, anniversaries, etc.).

By keeping it "in the now" it is easier to serve him.

 

[Tuffguy]

I love that proverbs passage.
It really presents such a wonderful picture of what a wife and woman can be.
Her price being 'far above rubies' to me says that this sort of wife and woman is more valuable than any treasure a man can have and if HE is wise he will treasure her more than anything this earth has to offer.

It is a VERY wise man and husband who recognizes such a woman.
And an even wiser man who does what he should to make her always want to remain this way.

God bless

Very good stuff. I also love those passages.

Perhaps focusing on those passages when you're NOT having problems is what prevents you from having problems.

 

[Robinsegg]

One thing that's helped me in my marriage is to look for positive things about hubby I can thank him for. If I'm looking for the good, I don't focus on the bad as much
Rachel

 

[LoveAlways]

Unfortunately, I have seen enough threads where men have complained about their wives to know that it's not true. The woman is ALWAYS expected to submit more, change, and overlook her husband's flaws. The men are NEVER expected to change or do a darn thing. The entire success or failure of the marriage is put on the woman's shoulders. I have been on MM for 2 years. I know the deal.

 

[FaithfulWife]

Unfortunately, I have seen enough threads where men have complained about their wives to know that it's not true. The woman is ALWAYS expected to submit more, change, and overlook her husband's flaws. The men are NEVER expected to change or do a darn thing. The entire success or failure of the marriage is put on the woman's shoulders. I have been on MM for 2 years. I know the deal.

LoveAlways,

I can't speak for everyone here on this thread, obviously, but I can say that I posted a scripture myself on this thread because the OP came here and of her own accord asked for it.

Please look at the original post. Yep she says her hubby tends to be selfish--that's true! But she doesn't ask us "Please help me figure out how to make him less selfish". She specifically asked us for scriptures she could use to develop a servant's heart toward her husband, and also specifically asked us NOT to debate whether or not he should be selfish! So for me, I was just honoring the OP's request, and I told her some verses that have helped me.

In real life, the obligation is for a husband to love his wife as Christ loved the Church (which means that not only did He lay down is life for her, but he met her where she was in all her sin and shame and loved her), and for a wife to see to it that she respect her husband. So if a husband does not love his wife, that does not exempt the wife from her obligation--but that also doesn't mean that she has to just sit there and take abuse either. From what I could tell based on what she did describe, the OP is not being abused verbally, mentally, or physically--and she did not ask for help dealing with abuse. Further, she did come on here asking for help to meet HER obligation to her husband. So good for her. She can't change him but she can work on herself--and so I answered her in that spirit. If I had a clue that she was being abused or harmed in ways like that perhaps my response might have been different, but that wasn't the case this time.

Hope this helps!

~FaithfulWife

 

[lady4theallmighty]

Um, I think this got quite off topic. Thank you FaithfulWife and Robinsegg for your wisdom and helpful insight. FaithfulWife I appreciate your response and you are in fact correct. My husband is a loving, caring, faithful husband. And as in most marriages there are challenges. I look to my God to direct me with those rather then acting out in my flesh which only serves to create strife.

God bless all of you,
SF

 

[childofgod57]

no proverb means for the woman to be a slave,cmon!.marriage is equal with equal responsabilities,my advice is to tell your selfish husband to get out of his rut and help out a little

 

[lady4theallmighty]

no proverb means for the woman to be a slave,cmon!.marriage is equal with equal responsabilities,my advice is to tell your selfish husband to get out of his rut and help out a little

As I mentioned, I did not ask for opinions I asked for scripture reference, thank you. I think I will go ahead and ask for this thread to be removed since there are individuals here who seem to constantly fail to actually read the OP and just insist on finding someplace to be opinionated. These are the reasons why CF has become a less then safe place for Christian fellowship.

 

[Alidar Jarok]

Thread closed at OP request.