scaring myself

[nessa]

I am really starting to scare myself with how depressed i get at night. for example, last night, i walked all the way to walgreen at 10.15 pm just to buy some b***** to si with.

i ran into my counselor today at Fazoli's...she said she wants to meet with me on Saturday...i don't know if i want to though...i still don't quite have the guts to talk to anyone about the possibility of bipolar II.

I think that my main question is...do i really have bp II? I mean, i am always depressed, always crying, never really happy, don't eat much - and i am losing weight, and i just want to kill myself every night. i am so confused.

I need help, and i know it...but i just can't ask.

 

[Im-revived]

Ok Nessa sweetheart, I'm a Christian counsellor and deal with all sorts of problems with clients, people suffering how you are too. So if you want you can check my profile and PM me, many do.

When depression gets worse its for a reason, especially as your already a sufferer, the reason you need to look for with me or your counsellor is why. You admit your scared but can still go out at 10.15pm at night, so that says its a scared feeling of what you may do if your at home, in your room etc, so your mind is trying to escape those feelings by making you move out of the situation, which is good, but dangerous that late at night.

Who diagnosed you with bipolar/manic depression, as unless youve missed something out in your post, your symptoms are not Bipolar. Bipolar/Manic Depression symptoms show themselves as being extremely high, then dropping to severely depressed over a period of days. I know you say you want to kill yourself everynight, but Bipolar doesm't work like that. Plus there is no illness with symptoms like yours as Bipolar II. It sounds to me your suffering severe clinical depression, and personality disorder. If you want PM me with more info and any medication your on.

Im-revived

I am really starting to scare myself with how depressed i get at night. for example, last night, i walked all the way to walgreen at 10.15 pm just to buy some b***** to si with.

i ran into my counselor today at Fazoli's...she said she wants to meet with me on Saturday...i don't know if i want to though...i still don't quite have the guts to talk to anyone about the possibility of bipolar II.

I think that my main question is...do i really have bp II? I mean, i am always depressed, always crying, never really happy, don't eat much - and i am losing weight, and i just want to kill myself every night. i am so confused.

I need help, and i know it...but i just can't ask.

 

[nessa]

Ok Nessa sweetheart, I'm a Christian counsellor and deal with all sorts of problems with clients, people suffering how you are too. So if you want you can check my profile and PM me, many do.

When depression gets worse its for a reason, especially as your already a sufferer, the reason you need to look for with me or your counsellor is why. You admit your scared but can still go out at 10.15pm at night, so that says its a scared feeling of what you may do if your at home, in your room etc, so your mind is trying to escape those feelings by making you move out of the situation, which is good, but dangerous that late at night.

Who diagnosed you with bipolar/manic depression, as unless youve missed something out in your post, your symptoms are not Bipolar. Bipolar/Manic Depression symptoms show themselves as being extremely high, then dropping to severely depressed over a period of days. I know you say you want to kill yourself everynight, but Bipolar doesm't work like that. Plus there is no illness with symptoms like yours as Bipolar II. It sounds to me your suffering severe clinical depression, and personality disorder. If you want PM me with more info and any medication your on.

Im-revived

when i said bipolar, i meant bipolar II...the one with the long depression episodes and rarely goes manic. i have talked to people with bipolar...and they all say i show all the signs of bp II.

 

[PonytailGinger]

Sorry to hear what you are going through. I will pray for you. Hope there is help for you... and I pray that Im-revived can do this for you.

 

[nessa]

ty ponytail. Right now, i am just so unsafe with all of my si implements around me. And with the weird moodswings i have had...i need help

 

[IKTCA]

Nessa,

You learned the principles of getting help from the posters of Self Injury. I ask you to practise them now.

I am praying for you now.

Rupert

 

[nessa]

Nessa,

You learned the principles of getting help from the posters of Self Injury. I ask you to practise them now.

I am praying for you now.

Rupert

i know...i know...but it just isn't that easy for me. i don't know why.

 

[IKTCA]

Nessa,

Hold on and do not give up. I am calling all my friends at SI to pray for you, for through praying we are not only strengthening others but also ourselves.

Rupert

 

[nessa]

ty IKTCA.

the thought of being possibily put in the hospital on saturday is freaking me out

 

[IKTCA]

Do you like singing?
Drawing?

I have not been admitted to a hospital before. But I suppose it wouldn't be a pleasant experience.

I had an allergy problem for many years. But I was cough-free for 3 or 4 years with allergy shots. Then the doctor took me off the shots, expecting my immune system improved. It didn't. I had severe sneezing, coughing, etc. I couldn't sleep at night for days.

Somehow I was determined not to see the doctor and sought healing from the Lord. I suffered much, but I refused to see a doctor. Eventually, when I cried out to the Lord like a forlorn child, he visited me delivered me from the symptoms.

As I look back, I see my arrogance. I was too arrogant to submit myself to the cares of doctors. I didn't have the humility to lower my head before the doctors, and ask for help.

I don't know if my story applies to you or not. I shared it with you just in case if it would be wise for you to receive medical help from hospital staff.

In the meantime, do not stop seeking help from the Lord. Read his words in Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John everyday. Talk to him everyday in submission.

I am still praying for you.

Rupert

 

[nessa]

i like singing, i like to write....but lately, those things aren't having any effect on me because i have used them so many times.

 

[crazylittlep]

 

[crazylittlep]

what do you write about, what do you sing? I am curious. i suck at both, but love looking at the products of peoples work!

 

[crazylittlep]

 

[crazylittlep]

nessa i know you are here, why dont you talk to me???

 

[nessa]

i just now saw your messages...i write about whatever is on my mind..and i sing when i feel like it.

 

[nessa]

i had another major mood swing lately...i sied way too many times I am scared, yet almost can't wait for Saturday...i am so confused!