Scared of church

[Sonnet]

I have been to several churches in my life, although have found it very difficult to stay at one. Over the last few years, I can't even get myself to enter a church building without waiting outside for ages and trying to get the courage to walk inside - more often than not, I just walk away.

I don't know why this is.

Part of me thinks it is because I just don't feel that I am a good person and that God will see that and I'm not welcome.
Part of me thinks that the other church members will not accept me for various reasons, so that makes the whole thing of entering a church even more difficult.
Part of me hates who I am and seems intent on destroying every good thing that comes along.

I know that some people say that church is not the only way to be with God, but I do want to find a church and be part of it. It upsets me that I find it so difficult.

Why is entering a church so scary?

 

[ezeric]

Hey Sister Sonnet

Biblically "the church", is NOT a place to go on a Sunday.
Rather a group (even real small) of believers that come together, with one focus and that is centred around JESUS and HIS SPIRIT of GRACE.

Again, its about a Kingdom JESUS brought us not a church time and place.

BUT

Your problem you are really talking about here, is the problem of fear.
It comes out of your guilt, punishing you and paralysing you.

Which comes out of 'law'; our attempts to living the 'christian life', or our efforts to be 'righteous'.
Produces failure, and insecurities.

Freedom!

How do you get to Freedom?

It comes from knowing (trusting) JESUS…that HE alone has forgiven you (past/present & future) not because of anything you've done (or can do) but because HE loves you and paid the price for you (and me and all of us).

So, that you are a full fledged, bonafide daughter of the MOST HIGH GOD.
you are using faith (trust) in the Righteousness of another (not your own putrid righteousness, which is filthy rags).

As that TRUTH pushes out the lies in your mind, you are being set free.

You are already free from the torment of fear, its just that you can't see it/feel it - yet.

-eric

 

[tturt]

The realization of this one Scripture would revolutionize our lives.

"I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one; and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me." John 17:23

Based on this John 17:23 Scripture, Patricia King = “We all know that the Father loves His son. You know, He loves Jesus so perfectly. As the Lord loves Him - that’s how much He loves you. You might think He can’t because I can’t be perfect like Jesus. God doesn’t love Jesus because He’s perfect, He loves Jesus because Jesus is His son and that’s why God loves Jesus. He loves you the same way. He loves you the same way He loves Jesus because you are His child. The Father Himself loves you.” [FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

 

[paul1149]

Hi Sonnet,

I think often it is messages we have picked up in life, that we internalize, which produce guilt and shame that cripples us. Now we're on the church doorstep, and we think of all those people in there sharing the joy of Jesus, and we feel like an outsider. But if it's the right place, once we get over the initial hurdle of being new and not knowing anyone, we can enter in as well. And we find that others there also have things they struggle with, and we're there for each other.

Ideally, the church should be reaching out to the lost and to "separated brethren" - those out of church. I'm not sure how much of that is happening though, so it becomes incumbent on us to find a place where we can join other branches of the Vine.

I agree with brother Eric and Sister T. It all starts with knowing you are accepted in the Beloved (Eph 1). If God be for us, who can be against us?(Rom 8) And who cares who is against us? So I think the way forward is through prayer affirming and strengthening your relationship with the Lord Jesus, even as you are without any changes, and then as Holy Spirit guides, the courage to take it to the streets and move forward.

 

[graceandpeace]

I have been to several churches in my life, although have found it very difficult to stay at one. Over the last few years, I can't even get myself to enter a church building without waiting outside for ages and trying to get the courage to walk inside - more often than not, I just walk away.

I don't know why this is.

Part of me thinks it is because I just don't feel that I am a good person and that God will see that and I'm not welcome.
Part of me thinks that the other church members will not accept me for various reasons, so that makes the whole thing of entering a church even more difficult.
Part of me hates who I am and seems intent on destroying every good thing that comes along.

I know that some people say that church is not the only way to be with God, but I do want to find a church and be part of it. It upsets me that I find it so difficult.

Why is entering a church so scary?

What type of churches have you attended?

Some denominations make me very uncomfortable, & I've been to enough churches to know that some use fear & guilt in their messages.

Anyway, all of us are sinners & no one is perfect. It does take courage to visit a new church. The only thing I can think to say is that you just gotta push through any fear & take your time to in the search process. God does love you, try not to afraid.

 

[Quasicentennial]

The church atmosphere and design construction is such that our attitude to show respect for each other is to feel this kind of unselfish equality of Christ's spirituality in ourselves, even though our world status, such as income level, educational level, age level, English language communication level - are multi-level personality differences that determine our choices for friendship in that it is very limited like an exclusive-only members club:.
That's why it's difficult to separate our carnal world differences from our true Christian family selves, only because our homes are not all positioned side by side if many of the church members come from neighboring suburbs, plus our society being a mixture of Christian and non-Christian traditional experiences such as Easter bunny rabbits and chocolate eggs, Christmas Santa Claus and Christmas tree decorations with presents:.
If the kingdom of God arrived now, all of our homes and cities would return to the earth as dust while we live inside the kingdom of God with plenty of mortgage-free/rent-free home accommodation for everyone.:
As for transportation of ourselves from one place to another, I believe transportation will be done supernaturally as we have yet to understand the secrets of this miracle transportation that is beyond science and technology of our 21st century - Jesus coming soon will definitely speed up our invention improvement where science and technology are unknowingly heading towards God's "supernatural science and technology".;'*';.
Rev 21:2

 

[Autumnleaf]

Part of me hates who I am and seems intent on destroying every good thing that comes along.

Why is entering a church so scary?

You are divided in yourself. You have to embrace yourself and not abandon yourself. Embrace your inner child and love her. Be there for her, in your mind's eye. Tell her she is beautiful and lovable and you love her and would never leave her. Defend her and be there for her. Love her.

 

[BFine]

All have fallen short of the glory of God... notice the word ALL.
None of us Christians are "good enough" we ALL are dependent upon
the Lord and the only righteousness we have is what the Lord
imparts to us.

Problem is not realizing and or believing who you are in Christ.

Feelings aren't to be relied upon concerning salvation or who you
are in Christ. The Bible doesn't tell us to trust, believe or follow
our feelings. We are told repeatedly to trust, believe and follow
the Lord and to trust, believe and follow the Word of God.

We are to know who we are in Christ, Know the Word--
of course, read it, believe it and apply it in our life each day.

Who you are in Christ

Because you are in Christ, every one of these statements is true of you.

I am loved 1 John 3:3
I am accepted Ephesians 1:6
I am a child of God John 1:12
I am Jesus' friend John 15:14
I am a joint heir with Jesus, sharing His inheritance with Him Romans 8:17
I am united with God and one spirit with Him 1 Corinthians 6:17
I am a temple of God. His spirit and his life live in me 1 Corinthians 6:19
I am a member of Christ's body. 1 Corinthians 12:27
I am a Saint Ephesians 1:1
I am redeemed and forgiven Colossians 1:14
I am complete in Jesus Christ Colossians 2:10
I am free from condemnation Romans 8:1
I am a new creation because I am in Christ 2Corinthians 5:17
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved Colossians 3:12
I am established, anointed, and sealed by God 2 Corinthians 1:21
I am God's co-worker 2 Corinthians 6:1
I am seated in heavenly places with Christ Ephesians 2:6
I have direct access to God Ephesians 2:18
I am chosen to bear fruit John 15:16
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house 1 Peter 2:5
I can always know the presence of God because He never leaves me Hebrews 13:5

 

[Albion]

I have been to several churches in my life, although have found it very difficult to stay at one. Over the last few years, I can't even get myself to enter a church building without waiting outside for ages and trying to get the courage to walk inside - more often than not, I just walk away.

I don't know why this is.

Part of me thinks it is because I just don't feel that I am a good person and that God will see that and I'm not welcome.
Part of me thinks that the other church members will not accept me for various reasons, so that makes the whole thing of entering a church even more difficult.
Part of me hates who I am and seems intent on destroying every good thing that comes along.

I know that some people say that church is not the only way to be with God, but I do want to find a church and be part of it. It upsets me that I find it so difficult.

Why is entering a church so scary?

Well, I think you've identified some of the most common feelings that keep other people away from church. What you have to do is break the ice and then it gets better. I'm sure you'd agree that there are some other things in life that seem scary until you do them...and then it gets a lot easier.

So just screw up your courage and go in. Find a pew or chair and don't feel any need to do everything right or to speak to people before they speak to you. It's OK to seem to be lost in your thoughts and to leave after it's over, perhaps with a smile at passers-by but nothing out of the ordinary. If you are asked to stop by the coffee hour, you can either do so or say you have another obligation.

Once you get that under your belt, it won't seem so formidable the next time.

 

[parsley]

This might seem silly, but I have often wondered why churches don't put out signs that tell people they're welcome to come in. They imagine that everyone already knows the premise of open doors, but nothing on the outside says that. Terms are not defined, even after a visitor walks in. Even after they've attended for a few months. We are just expected to know.

Imagine someone who'd never gone to a church -- what are their conclusions?

Even after decades of attending churches, there was one more intense church that I was afraid to visit because I suspected that if they were intense, then they would have stricter limits on what went on. I waited almost a year before I had the guts to go.

Their doors were not marked in a way that a visitor could tell which was the main entry, and steps up made it feel even less inviting.

These points might seem silly to mention, but if visitors need to be welcomed in, ushered in...then the church needs to make a little effort to make them feel invited. Not confronted, but a visual open invitation where outsiders can learn what the expectations are.

Otherwise, we get grey situations like this where a person feels guilty for stepping in, not wanting to intrude, not knowing if they have earned a right to be there.

It's God's house. You're his child. Run in and slam the screen door.