Saying the "L" Word

[Living4Him03]

I've seen lately on the courting couples forum and in others here at CF a trend among the couples (dating). It seems that everyone is saying "I Love You" to their significant others. Now, I don't mean to be a party pooper or anything, but I do think those words are very special and precious. Personally, if a man is not willing to make a committment to me (as in, propose) then those words should not be said. Love is more than a feeling ...it's also a committment because there are some days you just do not like someone, but you still love them. I'm not saying that the couples here saying they love each other are not sincere. I just want you all to be careful in saying those words. If you really love someone you will guard their heart by making sure you don't say those words too soon. Caring about someone deeply is far different than loving them. That word implies so much, one of those things, as mentioned, being committment. I can't tell you all what to do, but I have noticed this trend and I just wanted to warn you all as a sister in Christ. I know in my last relationship there were many times, even after I first met him, that I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I didn't. I'm now very glad I did not say those words, because there was no committment there ...and I don't think being b/f and g/f is a big enough committment to tell someone you love them. Those words are just so precious! Be careful with saying those words, you may regret it one day and wish you hadn't said them. It really does change things in a relationship and gives it a whole new meaning. I'm not trying to offend anyone or tell anyone they are wrong or that you don't love your s/o. However, expressing verbally how you feel is sometimes not going to benefit the other person or yourself. Sure you can let the person know how much you care about them and show them that, but the words "I Love You" are so much more than an intense feeling. Thanks for listening. God bless all of you and I pray that your relationships will be gloryfying to Him!

 

[Fatolia]

I give my thumbs up agreement to Miss Living4Him. Gone are the days where I shot the three-pointer. From now on, I will NEVER say "I love you" until I get close to marriage. Most people don't really understand what true love is anyway, obscuring it behind a facade of overheated sexuality. True love means sacrifice and a willingness to forgive...and this should be towards all people, might I add, not just your SO. And especially to God.

I've led girls down the stray path with this one before. The lady above is correct; these are powerful words, especially coming from one who adores you.

 

[Pope Gonzo]

I said love so many times in high school that it totally lost its meaning. Since my junior year, the only way I've used it in a romantic way(as in, not just love as a brother/sister in Christ) is with the woman who is now my fiance As a whole, our society has beaten a wonderful word down into almost worthlessness

 

[KristianJ]

I've seen lately on the courting couples forum and in others here at CF a trend among the couples (dating). It seems that everyone is saying "I Love You" to their significant others. Now, I don't mean to be a party pooper or anything, but I do think those words are very special and precious. Personally, if a man is not willing to make a committment to me (as in, propose) then those words should not be said. Love is more than a feeling ...it's also a committment because there are some days you just do not like someone, but you still love them. I'm not saying that the couples here saying they love each other are not sincere. I just want you all to be careful in saying those words. If you really love someone you will guard their heart by making sure you don't say those words too soon. Caring about someone deeply is far different than loving them. That word implies so much, one of those things, as mentioned, being committment. I can't tell you all what to do, but I have noticed this trend and I just wanted to warn you all as a sister in Christ. I know in my last relationship there were many times, even after I first met him, that I wanted to tell him I loved him, but I didn't. I'm now very glad I did not say those words, because there was no committment there ...and I don't think being b/f and g/f is a big enough committment to tell someone you love them. Those words are just so precious! Be careful with saying those words, you may regret it one day and wish you hadn't said them. It really does change things in a relationship and gives it a whole new meaning. I'm not trying to offend anyone or tell anyone they are wrong or that you don't love your s/o. However, expressing verbally how you feel is sometimes not going to benefit the other person or yourself. Sure you can let the person know how much you care about them and show them that, but the words "I Love You" are so much more than an intense feeling. Thanks for listening. God bless all of you and I pray that your relationships will be gloryfying to Him!

Very fair point, L4H. I guess it's hard to read into every couple's level of commitment in their relationships; but I do agree that saying that phrase without realising the implications of you saying it can be dangerous.

 

[ardeur]

I´m so wary of saying ¨I love you¨ it feels like I´m almost scared of using the phrase. LOL

 

[horuhe00]

I´m so wary of saying ¨I love you¨ it feels like I´m almost scared of using the phrase. LOL

I admit it, I'm scared of saying it

 

[ChristianWarrior]

I agree with you too L4Him. I don't say "I love you" just because of the emotional implications. I mean, after hearing that, if something DOESN'T work out, what does that mean? He/She doesn't love me anymore? PLus it'll really hurt. And you really can't STOP loving someone methinks. Either you always love them, or you never really loved them to begin with.

 

[invisiblebabe]

I agree with you too L4Him. I don't say "I love you" just because of the emotional implications. I mean, after hearing that, if something DOESN'T work out, what does that mean? He/She doesn't love me anymore? PLus it'll really hurt. And you really can't STOP loving someone methinks. Either you always love them, or you never really loved them to begin with.

Or you simply love them in a different way...

True love is forever, granted. But who is to say that it can't change form?

 

[oldrooster]

I have an ex-wife that I will always care about and love, but not the same way that I love my wife now......if you truly love someone, it never ends......

 

[charligirl]

I think the problem stems from our language only having one word for 'love' so of course it gets misused. The greeks had 3 words, agape (come what may God type love) philio (brothery friendship) and eros (sexual, romantic).

Many young couples today may feel Eros and mistake that for 'love' in it's completeness, they may even feel Philio and Eros, but they really should not use the words 'I love you' unless all three are in place.

Our culture and society, Hollywood and MTV all tell us that Eros is the be all and end all, that THAT is love. Oh how the devil has used that to deceive us, what a counterfeit of the love that God intended, Eros, philio, agape with HIM in the centre.

 

[RadG]

I think the problem stems from our language only having one word for 'love' so of course it gets misused. The greeks had 3 words, agape (come what may God type love) philio (brothery friendship) and eros (sexual, romantic).

Then the Bible uses 4 or 5 different types of love the 3 mentioned by charligirl and I know of at least one other Hessid (covenental love) and I think there is one other but can't remember directly, one of the pastors at the church I go to mentioned all of these loves in a series of Bible lessons he did. Just remembered the 5th type of love the parental love can't remember if this is 100% correct but if my memory serves me right that is it.

I do agree with Living4Him on how to use the word love when in relationships that could lead to a potential mate, but to say that I love you in the context that as a Christian we are called to have towards others is not wrong however. As Christians we are called to love one another, Love the sinner and hate the sin. I guess what I am saying is that depending on the context of how "I Love you" is said it could be either right or you should hold your tounge.

RadG

 

[charligirl]

Then the Bible uses 4 or 5 different types of love the 3 mentioned by charligirl and I know of at least one other Hessid (covenental love) and I think there is one other but can't remember directly, one of the pastors at the church I go to mentioned all of these loves in a series of Bible lessons he did. Just remembered the 5th type of love the parental love can't remember if this is 100% correct but if my memory serves me right that is it.

Yup, Hessid is the Hebrew behind the word 'lovingkindness' we had weeks of sermons on that one.. how could I forget!!

 

[Katty]

When it comes to head over heels "I wanna grow old with you" love, being that vunerable kinda freaks me out. The only thing that scares me more than that is the "self-knowledge" that I actually want that one day. Love IS so much more than those butterflies in my stomach, the flowers and chocolates... and in the meantime, I'm still learning what it is to truly love someone and what it really takes to make that commitment. I'm not out searching for love and I don't want to mold love one day, but in all reality, I want love to mold us.

~Katty

 

[Deamiter]

I entirely disagree! It is our duty as Christians to love each other, and what better way than to say it? Of course I love giving hugs to ALL my brothers and sisters in Christ, and often that means more than the phrase, but when I tell a friend, "I love you" I truly do mean it in the full sense of the word! I'm far from a perfect Christian, and I have a lot to learn, but I think telling others that you love them is one of the most important things we COULD do as Christians!

To be fair, I often explain myself to girls by discussing what love really means. In the first place, I don't date people lightly, so people hear it from me in a friendship CONTEXT to begin with. And I also restrain my use of the word when I DO start dating someone, just because it does have added meaning there. So in a sense, I agree that we shouldn't be throwing around the 'L' word in dating. However, I think we SERIOUSLY miss the point if we fail to tell our brothers and sisters in Christ that we love them! It shouldn't be all or nothing. Instead, it should be completely above-board and sincere so everybody knows what KIND of love it is! I don't think I could live without philio-ing my friends though!

 

[Jakobray]

I entirely disagree! It is our duty as Christians to love each other, and what better way than to say it? Of course I love giving hugs to ALL my brothers and sisters in Christ, and often that means more than the phrase, but when I tell a friend, "I love you" I truly do mean it in the full sense of the word! I'm far from a perfect Christian, and I have a lot to learn, but I think telling others that you love them is one of the most important things we COULD do as Christians!

To be fair, I often explain myself to girls by discussing what love really means. In the first place, I don't date people lightly, so people hear it from me in a friendship CONTEXT to begin with. And I also restrain my use of the word when I DO start dating someone, just because it does have added meaning there. So in a sense, I agree that we shouldn't be throwing around the 'L' word in dating. However, I think we SERIOUSLY miss the point if we fail to tell our brothers and sisters in Christ that we love them! It shouldn't be all or nothing. Instead, it should be completely above-board and sincere so everybody knows what KIND of love it is! I don't think I could live without philio-ing my friends though!

I couldn't agree more. I is our duty as Christians to Love each other. I agree also that people should know that we Love each other. I have no problem and I don't think that there should ever be a problem telling close friends and such that you love them. And what greater evangelical tool then to tell someone that you are trying to witness to. The only thing taht I would be careful about is in the relationship letting the person know what you mean by the "L" word. You don't want them thinking that your talking agape when your really dont mean agape.

By the way another greek love word is Storgae. It means family love.

Peace

 

[Living4Him03]

In this thread I was specifically referring to romantic relationships and saying the "L" word too soon. I in no way said that we should not say we love our friends and family, but when it comes to relationships with the opposite sex it's much more confusing and delicate. I noticed a trend of saying "I Love You" among couples of CF and was concerned that some may be saying it too soon and not realize the impact and implications of saying those three little words.