I'll spare all the details as to how I got in to the rut I was in. My situation was that I was greatly desiring a relationship with God, but kept pushing him away. I was caught up in some pretty vile things. For 10 years I had been a porn addict. It got to where I started actively seeking out willing females online. Sometimes I could get them to talk sexually with me and send me nude photos of themselves. If I had trouble finding a girl who was willing to do all that, I would seek out other men. I would lose hours of sleep every night talking to these people. I knew it was wrong. I knew for a fact that this isn't where God wanted me. Thing is, I was afraid of upsetting God (ironic, eh?). I didn't want to make a promise I couldn't keep. A few weeks ago I had just got done watching porn. I lied there thinking about God. I didn't break down in emotion or anything like that. But I went to pray to God and basically said "God, I have absolutely no right to talk to you after all these promises I've broken. Were I in your position, I would have given up on me from the start. You have promised that you are infinitely loving and forgiving. I'm going to finally take that to heart. I'm done, God. I won't do those things any longer." And that was that. The temptation to go back has been intense. But when I feel pressured, I run to God for refuge. I'm getting closer and closer to him every day, and it has brought me joy beyond comprehension. Is God not amazing? 
