Salvation and OCD

[amandita]

I think I became a Christian a little over a year ago, but over the past year I have found myself facing torments of doubt. I have been diagnosed with OCD so I'm sure that makes it worse. I am on medication for it, and it helps some, but recently I've been having a hard time again.

I want to know for sure that I am saved. What I have problems with is trusting and resting in Jesus and also whether or not I believe (as weird as that may sound!).

You see, I know for a fact that Jesus died and rose again, but when you add in the statements "for your sins" and "for your justification" I want to say that I agree, but a little voice in my head questions whether or not I really do. It is so awful! Yet I fight it and tell myself that yes he did indeed die for my sins. I do believe that Jesus died and rose again, that he is fully God and man, that he lived a sinless life, etc...

My therapist and my doctor (who are both Christians) just keep telling me to trust in Him. But how do I know I am doing this? Is it just saying to myself "Okay, Amanda. Jesus died for your sins and rose again for your justification. He has taken care of the punishment and wrath for you. Just accept that and let him do his job as savior and save you." or what? I am terrified that I am going to "rest" but wind up not being saved. Also, where does repentance come into play in this whole thing?

I would really appreciate some advice and encouragement. The doubt is getting so old.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Is it just saying to myself "Okay, Amanda. Jesus died for your sins and rose again for your justification. He has taken care of the punishment and wrath for you. Just accept that and let him do his job as savior and save you."

That is what the Word says and the Word of God is what we are called to believe and trust in, but think of it this way instead of it being you holding on to God, listen to what the Word says about our salvation, the Lord said in John "you have not chosen Me, but I have chosen you..." (John 15:16) He is the one who is holding you in faith, in our feeble attempts to produce faith we constantly fall short, I know I do, but I am done trying to stop unbelief (it is impossible to do in our state anyway), and any faith that we possess can not possibly come from ourselves, it is all from the boundless grace of our Lord, left to ourselves we would still be in our sin, with no desire for holiness and purity in our lives or for faith in the True God for that matter and much worse off than we are now.

Jesus has paid the highest price for us to be ransomed out of the life of sin and defeat, He has done it all already and all we are called to do is to trust in His finished work. His burden is light, His yoke is easy, He does not want us to constantly check and see if we have the right feelings about salvation. He just wants us to renounce all dependence on feelings and our limited reasoning power and just trust His word and the work He has completed on the cross.

He knows we suffer down here, He knows humans are prone to doubt (His disciples doubted Him to His face!) but He is merciful and cares for us, He has saved us and wants more than anything for us to come to know and experience His love for us in the fullest sense, spiritually and physically. He is for us in our affliction; emotions, our OCD, our thoughts may be against us but the Lord Jesus Christ who conquered death is for us, we have the greatest power in all the cosmos, the source of truth and all things good, the embodiment of love, the enthroned Lord of heaven and earth on our side (look up Romans 8:31). He shed His blood for you Amanda, real blood and real tears, He died for us all so that we can have the privilege of trusting Him and knowing Him.


I hate doubt, I have suffered with it for too long, when I think of the Lords love for me and how in His holiness He was completely justified in condemning me to hell but still He came and saved me, took my sin, my shame, my guilt upon Himself in selfless surrender and died for me, the Lamb who the Father slained in my place out of love for me so that I can live with Him forever, it melts my heart when I think of this greatest of truths.

But I am human, I will not always feel the same way, sometimes my doubts flair, sin entices, feelings enthrone themselves as my Lord and unbelief sets in, but we must remember to hold on to those things which are true. C.S. Lewis said "Faith is the art of holding on to things your reason once accepted, despite your changing moods." This quote is true to a point and it has been invaluable to me in my struggle with OCD and doubt. But even still I would not place my reason even as high as that, the Lords word is the only real truth we can hold on to despite our changing moods, and we must judge everything our thoughts tell us but what the Word reveals to us, we believe it first over everything else, including our reason.

God bless, SoS.

 

[amandita]

Thank you. I'm glad I'm not alone with this. could you tell me what we have to do to be saved?

 

[veryworried]

John 3:16
For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.

Romans 10:13
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

 

[amandita]

What does it mean to believe in him or call upon the name of the Lord?

 

[veryworried]

Believing in him means that God sent his Son down to become man in order to pay for the sins that man has done. Ever since we broke God's law, there has been a void that we couldn't reach. Christ payed the price for our sins, so we could be with God for eternity.

I'm not sure if I can remember if I asked my Pastor at church about your second question, but when I go to church on Sunday, I'll let you know.

 

[amandita]

I believe those things about God and Jesus, so therefore I believe in Him, right?

And I really appreciate you taking the time to help me and ask your pastor. You are so kind!

 

[veryworried]

Yes, and you're welcome.

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

could you tell me what we have to do to be saved?

First we have to repent of all known sin in our life, any sin that you are still holding on to must be repented of (which means to turn in the opposite direction away from it). Even if you feel that you can not give up all sin in your life, just ask the Lord to help you and give you the will to turn from all of it even if you don't want to (you will never be perfect in this life but the willing part is the most important thing). True repentance is turning from evil to the holiness of the one true God.

Ask the Lord Jesus to show you the sin in your life and when He does, confess it to the Lord ask Him to cleanse you of it all and to keep you from it in the future. "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." (1 John 1:9) One way to do this is to look at the Ten Commandments, it will show you some of the laws of God that He will hold all men and women accountable to, all sin deserves the death penalty because we have offended a Holy God, because of this we should all spend eternity in hell.

But because God loved us so much, God the Son (one Person out of the Three in the Holy Trinity that make up the One True God) willingly was slain for our sins, God the Father poured out His wrath (the wrath that we deserve) on the Holy Son of God who committed no sin in His life and He was slain by sinful humanity. Jesus willingly died on the cross for your sin, He hung there and bled so the we could be set free from the penalty of sin that hangs above us. The bible tells us that without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin, Jesus blood was shed for the whole world and all He asks of us is to repent of our sin and to trust in that holy blood that he poured out for us all.

But the story does not end there! Jesus was raised from the dead by the Holy Spirit and He promised to send the Holy Spirit into our hearts so that He would not leave us orphans in this world now that He is out of it. The Holy Spirit will come into your heart and and lead you to all truths and to help you strive for complete holiness while on earth once you receive the Lord Jesus as your only Lord and Saviour, He wants to save you, He loves you and He has promised: "All that the Father gives me shall come to me; and him that comes to me I will in no wise cast out." (John 6:37)


If you come to Him truthfully with a heart of repentance in sincere belief wanting to know Him as your Lord and Saviour, He will save you, He has promised He will, ask Him now, may God bless you into His Kingdom! SoS.

This is from my church during revival services from about 10-12 years ago. I was not saved at the time although my parents made me go all the time, but those that got saved here were true conversions to the Lord.

YouTube - Prepare To Meet Thy God!!! Evangelist Steve Hill Brownsville Revival

 

[amandita]

Is there a way you could know/believe/mentally accept or assent to that (1) you are a sinner and (2) Jesus Christ died for your sins and rose again and not be saved?

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Amandita, your OCD is making this to hard, as I have said, just believe the Word, it says believe and be saved, if that is what you have done, you are saved. The Lord said that His yoke is easy and His burden is light, His salvation is not meant to be confusing, OCD is confusing, not His salvation. Jesus loves us, loves you, He knows you better than you know yourself, He knows your condition better than you do, trust Him to save you who knows all things, He is a faithful and loving Father, He is not trying to confuse you, OCD is. You know Who you must believe and who is more trustworthy, is it God or OCD? Jesus loves you and has saved you if you have accepted Him as Lord and Saviour, but to be more specific and answer your question directly, no i don't think it is possible.

SoS

 

[justpassingthrough21]

Hi Amandita, I just want to write a quick response to what you are asking. For me I was saved for like 15 years and never really thought about it, and when the thoughts started, salvation seemed more impossible and confusing than ever. So know your thoughts are making this way harder than it is. But yes their are answers to your questions.
We know that salvation requires faith. And we know that faith is believing and trusting in something you cannot see. Also we know that faith requires action to become effective. As far as is it possible to believe that Christ died for our sins and to still be unsaved. The answer is yes, because many people in their minds and hearts know they need Christ and that He is the answer, but still reject Him. They mentally assent to the truths, but either is hasn't taken hold in their heart or they are in rebellion.
It is what you do with the knowledge that makes you saved or unsaved. You have faith that Jesus died for you, but to put that faith into effect, is when you get on your knees, confess your sins and ask Christ into your heart. Now you are saved. But to keep from falling back into rebellion and unbelief, the rest of your life with Jesus is a faith walk. You read The Bible and trust it, follow it. You continue to talk with Christ, talk to your Father, grow in the Holy Spirit.
Now if you have been walking with Christ, and are a Christian, I don't know if it is ever possible to be an "unbeliever". Because once you have the knowledge and faith in Him, and have walked with him for a while, even in the worst doubts, you know in your heart He is still their. But you can let the doubts lead to rebellion which is not a good place for a Christian to be in.
I have had this same struggle you speak of. Because if feels like "knowing" you are saved is impossible, and just believing in Christ seems so simple. You also want to know what makes you different from another person who also believes in Christ but isn't actually saved. That difference is your walk. Put your focus in your walk. That way if you mind begins doubting the Bible or it's truth, and you don't feel God, as long as you are praying, reading and praising, you are still exercising your faith. No matter how small that faith may be.
Hope that helped!
~Aaron

 

[amandita]

Thank you all so much. It means a lot to me that you all are being so kind and helpful! Part of me thinks I'm saved and part doesn't think so. It is a war going on inside of me! The thing I am scared of the most is having a false assurance about salvation and then dying and waking up in Hell. I know that I am a sinner. I know that Jesus died on the cross to pay for my sins and that he rose again on the third day. I do not doubt or question any of that. It's just whether or not I am saved. Part of me just says, "Amanda, he accomplished your salvation on the cross. Just trust him!" and then the other OCD filled part of me absolutely goes bananas! I have confessed my sins to him, and I do every time I realize I have sinned. I want to be saved if I am not. I know that he is the only way and I need his salvation. I know this shouldn't be so hard but it is :/

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

Amandita it isn't hard, OCD and the devil want you to doubt and to think that faith is hard and it may be that you will have OCD for the rest of your life and you will always doubt, but that does not mean that you are not saved. What you need to do, what you have to do since you have OCD is to not let your feelings control the truth of your spiritual security.

The bible is your spiritual and eternal security, it overrules your thoughts and doubts and in the battle for sanity this is the most important thing you can remember. The Lord has said He will in no wise cast out any who come to Him, your OCD is trying to call Him a liar, don't believe these lies, believe Jesus, believe His word.

I would recommend that if you do not already do so, to start a bible reading plan, read for at least 15 minutes a day, I think it will help you tremendously, God bless you, SoS.

 

[amandita]

Thank you. So according to John 3:16, since I believe that Jesus is the Messiah and that he paid for my sins in full by dying on the cross and rising from the dead, I'm saved, right? I have prayed for him to save me, but I know I can contribute nothing to my salvation so I don't want to base my salvation on having said a prayer. But I know that Jesus paid for my sins, so since he paid for them already what do I have to pay for? It would be like the time I got my first and only speeding ticket (going 5 over on the way to the dentist with a major tooth ache!) and my sweet grandmother paid the fine for me since I couldn't. Since she paid it, I didn't have to. The fine is gone so I just have to accept her gift and be thankful for it. That is what people tell me to do with the gift of eternal life and salvation, but it just confuses me even more. How can I "reach out and accept it" if I can't touch it? It just sort of blows my mind, I guess.

I do read my Bible for about 10-30 minutes in the mornings when I wake up. It helps sometimes, but a lot of the time I feel like God is so far away, even when I pray to him it feels like that. It makes me so sad when I see people who have these awesome relationships with him, and I want one so bad, but I feel like I'm just floundering about, going nowhere.

 

[John637]

Amandita,

How I can relate to your struggle! It is not God's will, nor is it "normal" to doubt, but it is oh so common among believers, Amandita. Part of the problem as I see it is that we are taught to think, or maybe we just naturally think that faith is something we "work up" or we must "do" to receive God's gift of salvation. This is not what the Bible teaches, though. I heard it explained like this, & it made sense to me, I trust it will to you as well. Faith is NOT like a person saying, I will write a check for you for $1,000,000 & if you will believe it, I will give it to you. We usually think of it that way, but that is wrong, because it makes us focus on SELF & how we have to work up enough faith to receive what will then be given to us.
BUT, faith IS like this: Somebody we trust tells us that he HAS written us a check for $1,000,000 & we just simply take it. Note that now our focus is not on us, but on the one giving the gift, or even the gift itself. It's already done! Just so, we look to Jesus & be thankful He's already done it all, we have nothing to do for salvation. Hey, your feelings & mine too will probably scream that we didn't do it right or enough or whatever, but it is a moot point. Christ did it right, & it is already done. Don't worry about having enough faith or doing it right, just look to your Savior who loves you & has already done it all for you. If doubts come rushing in, just look to Him who loves you so. Like one of my favorite hymns goes, "Hallelujah, 'Tis Done!" His blood HAS done it! I'm just the recipient! I trust that helps, Amandita. I'll pray for you, & I appreciate your prayers for me too. God Bless you.
Oh, one more thing. If all of these precious folks who are seeking to help you here, care, & we do, surely your Savior who DIED for you cares much more! What we've done is small taters compared to His grace, but it is still already done! Just like you were thankful that recently someone said they would ask their pastor about your question, just so, be thankful that Jesus has already saved you!

 

[justpassingthrough21]

Amazing post John, couldn't have said it better myself!

 

[SoldierOfSoul]

The fine is gone so I just have to accept her gift and be thankful for it

Yeah that is a great way to put it Amandita, I heard another great analogy the other day too, it was in a sermon by Ravi Zacharias, he was speaking on a story he saw on the news about a terrorist attack in India.

Well what happened was a bunch of terrorists went into a hotel with machine guns and shot everyone they could in the lobby, there was one gentlemen there who was caught in the middle of a crowd, both of the people beside him were shot dead. He was spared for some reason.

Well after the terrorists were killed and the survivors were out getting medical attention, a news crew caught up with this man. They asked him why it was that the terrorists didn't kill him, why was it that they would kill everyone around him but leave him unscathed.

His answer revealed the fundamental truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ. He said "it must have been that the man that was killed beside me covered me in his blood", so the terrorists (thinking he was dead already) bypassed him.

That is only a analogy of a spiritual truth, but Jesus' blood covers us from the wrath of a holy God who hates sin, His blood is our righteousness, He shed it so that we can stand righteous and without spot or blemish at His throne one day, when the Father looks at those who believe and trust in His Son, in His death on the cross, He only sees the blood that covers them. We are in the blood covenant with Jesus and that is all that matters to God. This is all that matters in our standing rightly before Him.

How can I "reach out and accept it" if I can't touch it?

Really all faith is, is believing God, it is saying that He is right always no matter what. It is saying that when Jesus died, He died for me!, It is saying that the blood the Lord shed is mine! It is saying that the Lord has promised those things in the bible to someone and that someone is me! Faith is completely trusting the Lord with your eternal soul.

Amandita, God is the only one who deserves to be trusted, no person or any created thing in this universe can be trusted, only the Creator Jesus Christ, you can trust Him completely with your whole heart but also it says in 1 John even "if our heart condemns us, God is greater than our hearts and knows all things" (3:20) You see even if our mind tries to trick us into feeling condemned we can know that we are still dearly loved by God because of His word, because of these precious promises we can have faith in Him no matter what.

 

[Tredoslop]

amandita, I'm going through something like this right now.
You will be in my prayers.

Stay strong in the Lord!

 

[veryworried]

amandita, I'm sorry I wasn't able to able to get to you soon, but here is what the pastor told me.

He said being saved is trusting Jesus, asking Him into your heart and for forgiveness. Whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.

Jesus himself said the words of John 3:16.