Sacraficing ones self for another

[rushingwind62]

I know many here are probably stuck in a grieving process because of taking care of a suffering loved one. Some have or are grieving for days and weeks, while others struggle daily through the emotional roller coaster ride of watching a loved one suffer for years. I for one know what the later is like.

I watched my dad suffer and die a little everyday for over 6 years. He had many health problems that could not be corrected. One of which was his kidneys failed and he had to be put on dialysis and there was no hope for a transplant. So he was given a death sentence but no certain time frame. When he got to a point where he could not take care of himself or get around I made a vow to him to lay my life down to take care of him and prayed I could be there holding his hand when the time came for him to go be with the Lord.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and the most selfless thing I have ever done. I quit my job and moved in with him and began serving all his needs. And though it was hard it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done. The reward didn't come until the promise was complete though.The work was hard, and the stress was even greater. To be quite honest it broke me, because I was stuck in the grieving process before dad ever passed away. Many a night I cried myself to sleep and prayed for God to release me from my vow to Him and my dad. But He would just tell me to carry on. So I did.

When dads time finally came we all knew it and brought him home with hospice to pass away and that is when I got my reward. GOD granted me my prayer and allowed me to be there holding dad's hand and looking in his eyes when he went to be with the Lord. Don't get me wrong it was still hard to go through but it was a relief becaause we knew dad wasn't suffering anymore.

I shared this because I just want to encourage those of you going through the samething to make whatever sacrafices you need to make to take care of a dying loved one. As hard as it is in the end you will closure and peace of mind knowing you did all you could to ease their pain and help carry their burden. It will also give you an oppertunity to get to know that loved one in a way you would have never gotten to know them.

I have no regrets and if I had it all to do over again, I would in a heartbeat. Because I got to watch the angels come to take my dad to his new home.

I hope this encourages some of you to keep on and not give up...God Bless YOU.....Rob

__________________
​

 

[Arwenbaby]

I know how you feel. I was standing over my dad when he died. He was at home. Now my mother is on Hospice I take care of her. I would not have it any other way. I quit my job too. I worked on an ambulance (emtiv tech). I miss it but I love my mother more. When she goes it will be very hard for me. Love, Robbie
I will pray for your family.

 

[rushingwind62]

I know how you feel. I was standing over my dad when he died. He was at home. Now my mother is on Hospice I take care of her. I would not have it any other way. I quit my job too. I worked on an ambulance (emtiv tech). I miss it but I love my mother more. When she goes it will be very hard for me. Love, Robbie
I will pray for your family.

Robbie
I will be praying for you and your family. I plan on doing the samr for my mom when her time comes. I just can't see putting them in nursing homes where they don't get the care and love they need....Rob

 

[CFpetRESCUER2]

Rob,

It's wonderful and commendable that you made the sacrifice to stay home and take care of your father. All people cannot do this. If a man in his 90s is dying, often his children are in their 70s and have health problems of their own that make it impossible for them to summon the physical strength to care for their father.

There are some good alternatives to nursing homes for those who can still contribute to their loved one's care as well. In the case of a dying person, often hospice care can be obtained to provide the extra care they need in their own home or the home.

And for some people, a nursing home is the only alternative. Imagine if your father was childless and was faced with not only his own health problems but with caring for a very elderly parent. It would have been a physical impossibility.

In all cases, it is best to reflect and pray and ask God for the wisdom to make the best decisions for the circumstances. They will not be identical for all situations.

 

[Arwenbaby]

I have seen what they do in nursing homes. I would never even think of putting my mother or my worst enemy in one. But it could be different in other cities and states. This is my personal opinion. Its hard taking care of them. my mom took care of me when I was little so now I will take care of her. Robbie

 

[Redneck Crow]

I have seen what they do in nursing homes. I would never even think of putting my mother or my worst enemy in one. But it could be different in other cities and states. This is my personal opinion. Its hard taking care of them. my mom took care of me when I was little so now I will take care of her. Robbie

I work in a nursing home. I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly during my time as an agency nurse. All I can say is never say never. Most people are unaware of how complex care can be or how much can be required. It's good to keep people living in their homes if you can. Only about 5% of the population ever becomes ill enough to have to live in a nursing home. But I have to tell you, I've been a nurse since 1978 and I see cases every day at my job that I would be unable to handle full time at home. And I wouldn't expect others to be capable either.

 

[Ritz]

I was unable to be with my mother when she was dying of cancer due to my sons massive needs at home. My brother did it all. I believe some of us are called at certain times. You did well God would say.

 

[UnitynLove]

Beautiful story

 

[catlover]

I have seen what they do in nursing homes. I would never even think of putting my mother or my worst enemy in one. But it could be different in other cities and states. This is my personal opinion. Its hard taking care of them. my mom took care of me when I was little so now I will take care of her. Robbie

I would never put anyone I love , who was in their right mind and not a danger staying at home, in a nursing home.

My great aunt and uncle took(both in their 80's) care of my aunt(59years old) who was dying of cancer over the summer. They did a lovely job. Eventually she went to hospice because she had surgery.
But I thank-God they took care of her in a dignified manner.

 

[catlover]

I work in a nursing home. I've seen the good, the bad, and the ugly during my time as an agency nurse. All I can say is never say never. Most people are unaware of how complex care can be or how much can be required. It's good to keep people living in their homes if you can. Only about 5% of the population ever becomes ill enough to have to live in a nursing home. But I have to tell you, I've been a nurse since 1978 and I see cases every day at my job that I would be unable to handle full time at home. And I wouldn't expect others to be capable either.

What's complex is the administrators are too cheap to hire extra nurses and C.N.A's, which makes it near to impossible to give proper and dignified care to people.

 

[rushingwind62]

What's complex is the administrators are too cheap to hire extra nurses and C.N.A's, do proper and dignified care can be given to people.

I am not saying it is best for everyone. I know there are case where intense health care is needed. And in some cases people can't make the sacrfices because of other responibilties. But I do know a lot of people in nursing homes are there cause thier familes don't want the hassle of taking care of someone and have regrets after they are gone. Yes it is difficult, I know the emotional stresses and the physical exertion required at times. My dad was 300 plus pounds. But there are apparatus's availble to assist in such situations. As for me it was the greatest thing I could do for myself and my dad. It brought closure in the end because I know I dii ALL that I could to help him and help meet his wishes. If I had to do it all over again or if I have to do it for my mom, I would not and will not hesitate. God Bless ALL of you.

 

[catlover]

I am not saying it is best for everyone. I know there are case where intense health care is needed. And in some cases people can't make the sacrfices because of other responibilties. But I do know a lot of people in nursing homes are there cause thier familes don't want the hassle of taking care of someone and have regrets after they are gone. Yes it is difficult, I know the emotional stresses and the physical exertion required at times. My dad was 300 plus pounds. But there are apparatus's availble to assist in such situations. As for me it was the greatest thing I could do for myself and my dad. It brought closure in the end because I know I dii ALL that I could to help him and help meet his wishes. If I had to do it all over again or if I have to do it for my mom, I would not and will not hesitate. God Bless ALL of you.

Maybe you have a calling and should explore going into the medical field?

Oh yes, I took care of my grandpa when he was recovering from sugery. I prepared meals,gave him medications, coordinated his care for him, and "watched" him. He would have never let me do the job the visiting nurses did, but for what I did do, it was lovely.

This summer, though, was horrible. I took care of my husband after surgery. When the visiting nurse finally showed up. Two weeks after the fact she made everything worse. Lovely person, but she did things that made his surgical site worse.

 

[Redneck Crow]

What's complex is the administrators are too cheap to hire extra nurses and C.N.A's, which makes it near to impossible to give proper and dignified care to people.

In my area, the problem is that there are not enough nurses and C.N.A's to go around. Many nursing jobs are going unfilled because there aren't nurses to fill them.

You can't hire what doesn't exist. Being a nurse or a C.N.A. is a hellishly tough job, emotionally, physically, mentally. Fewer people are pursuing these fields, and administrators can't pluck them from the air just because they want them.

The nursing facility where I work is looking for both on an ongoing basis.

 

[catlover]

In my area, the problem is that there are not enough nurses and C.N.A's to go around. Many nursing jobs are going unfilled because there aren't nurses to fill them.

You can't hire what doesn't exist. Being a nurse or a C.N.A. is a hellishly tough job, emotionally, physically, mentally. Fewer people are pursuing these fields, and administrators can't pluck them from the air just because they want them.

The nursing facility where I work is looking for both on an ongoing basis.

It's a problem, a nursing shortage,no doubt. I think the problem is due to poor working conditions. My aunt, God rest her soul, was a nurse. She went on strike a couple times,in Minnesota, due to poor working conditions in the I.C.U.

 

[justafayes]

I know many here are probably stuck in a grieving process because of taking care of a suffering loved one. Some have or are grieving for days and weeks, while others struggle daily through the emotional roller coaster ride of watching a loved one suffer for years. I for one know what the later is like.

I watched my dad suffer and die a little everyday for over 6 years. He had many health problems that could not be corrected. One of which was his kidneys failed and he had to be put on dialysis and there was no hope for a transplant. So he was given a death sentence but no certain time frame. When he got to a point where he could not take care of himself or get around I made a vow to him to lay my life down to take care of him and prayed I could be there holding his hand when the time came for him to go be with the Lord.

It was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life and the most selfless thing I have ever done. I quit my job and moved in with him and began serving all his needs. And though it was hard it was the most rewarding thing I have ever done. The reward didn't come until the promise was complete though.The work was hard, and the stress was even greater. To be quite honest it broke me, because I was stuck in the grieving process before dad ever passed away. Many a night I cried myself to sleep and prayed for God to release me from my vow to Him and my dad. But He would just tell me to carry on. So I did.

When dads time finally came we all knew it and brought him home with hospice to pass away and that is when I got my reward. GOD granted me my prayer and allowed me to be there holding dad's hand and looking in his eyes when he went to be with the Lord. Don't get me wrong it was still hard to go through but it was a relief becaause we knew dad wasn't suffering anymore.

I shared this because I just want to encourage those of you going through the samething to make whatever sacrafices you need to make to take care of a dying loved one. As hard as it is in the end you will closure and peace of mind knowing you did all you could to ease their pain and help carry their burden. It will also give you an oppertunity to get to know that loved one in a way you would have never gotten to know them.

I have no regrets and if I had it all to do over again, I would in a heartbeat. Because I got to watch the angels come to take my dad to his new home.

I hope this encourages some of you to keep on and not give up...God Bless YOU.....Rob

__________________
​

God richly bless you, I agree.. Love in the Lord, Faye

 

[Harlan Norris]

Thank you for your testimony.It's very helpful.I'm careing for my mother who has Alzheimers.She's a total care patient,and she is declineing.It does seem quite grueling at times.But if I do it one day at a time it will get done.She will be comfortable here with the family.This is about her not me.However this experience is changing me,no doubt about that.I'm a better man.For that I'm grateful.

 

[rushingwind62]

Thank you for your testimony.It's very helpful.I'm careing for my mother who has Alzheimers.She's a total care patient,and she is declineing.It does seem quite grueling at times.But if I do it one day at a time it will get done.She will be comfortable here with the family.This is about her not me.However this experience is changing me,no doubt about that.I'm a better man.For that I'm grateful.

Norris,
My prayers will be with you in this. I can only imagine how difficult it is to take care of someone with Alzheimers and how grueling it must be mentally on you. Just remember she doesn't know what she is doing or saying alot of the time so don't hold it against her.

If you need a friend to talk too send me a PM.....God Bless.....Rob

 

[Harlan Norris]

Norris,
My prayers will be with you in this. I can only imagine how difficult it is to take care of someone with Alzheimers and how grueling it must be mentally on you. Just remember she doesn't know what she is doing or saying alot of the time so don't hold it against her.

If you need a friend to talk too send me a PM.....God Bless.....Rob

I appreciate the offer. As things now are, mom speaks only occasionally.Saddly she does very little.Her decline is gradual but definate.I know I'm blessed.Others have parents that are still active,and frankly unmanageable.Mom never went through a stage of truly outrageous behavior.Now she mostly sleeps.She eats very little.Careing for her is a lot like careing for a small child.Day at a time.That's how I'm doing it.

 

[rushingwind62]

I appreciate the offer. As things now are, mom speaks only occasionally.Saddly she does very little.Her decline is gradual but definate.I know I'm blessed.Others have parents that are still active,and frankly unmanageable.Mom never went through a stage of truly outrageous behavior.Now she mostly sleeps.She eats very little.Careing for her is a lot like careing for a small child.Day at a time.That's how I'm doing it.

Harlan...just know many are praying for you and your mom. Including me.....

 

[Harlan Norris]

Harlan...just know many are praying for you and your mom. Including me.....

Thank you.I apreciate that.