RSVP's outdated or not observed?

[janny108]

Hi,
My daughter celebrated her 7th birthday with friends. She invited 5 or 6 people and only 2 people let me know their girls were coming. I talked to a teacher at school about this and she did not seem real concerned. Basically if they show up they show up and if they don't they don't. Is this a new thing now?

I remember years ago with our son, people RSVP'd soon after they got the invitations. I think it shows consideration if people RSVP you when the invitation says/suggests you RSVP. That way the person having the party knows how much of drinks to buy, etc. Plus it would save dissappointment if my daughter thinks someone is going to come, and then they don't.

What do you think?
Jan

 

[okiemommy26]

I think if someone puts RSVP on the invite then that person who is invited should rsvp by the date you give. That is very rude of those parents to not to tell you if they are going to come or not.

 

[snarfywarning]

yeah. I always RSVP, granted, it might be late, because I never know if I can come (my work sched. changes every week) but I call first and say "Yes, but only as of now, I will call you on this certain day to tell you for sure" That way they can go shopping and things liket hat. If people don't RSVP, how much food do you know you have to buy? What if you were planning to cook major food, and then only two kids RSVPd, so you decidded to go to In-N-Out or Mcdonalds instead? And then 10 kids show up, and you have no food, because you were only expecting two kids. I say a few days before, callthe parents and ask if they are going to RSVP or not?

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

Having had numerous parties and gatherings I can tell you, no, most people do not RSVP. I've even highlighted the RSVP and put that we need to know how much food to have and, nope, many still many show up without calling.

Having said that, this is something that God has just given me a peace about. He really showed me that it was more important that I be a good hostess and ready for anything so to speak. I believe situations like this can really show 'the fruits' so to speak of the hostess. So, now, while I'll still put RSVP, I'll also find a reason to call if I really need to know and ask casually, "So will little Susie be able to come for the party?" I'd much rather have the person come to the party even if they don't call first.

I know not everybody will agree with me and will think that I ought to be more concerned but I find life much more pleasant without adding this to my list of life's little stresses.

 

[lucypevensie]

For my daughter's party I had to phone 5 of the 7 invites to ask if they were coming, just a few days before the party.

 

[Ohiomom2]

I too always try and RSVP when it is asked for and I expect the same out of others. I have always put RSVP on my DD's birthday invites but there are some who don't and it kind of upsets as our house is very small and we have to have time to make room and set up enough seating. For the party we are having on the 1st I asked for RSVPs since we will be having a cookout there are still people who I haven't heard from so I will just hope that we have enough food if they choose to show up.

 

[janny108]

For my daughter's party I had to phone 5 of the 7 invites to ask if they were coming, just a few days before the party.

I would have done that too, if I knew their phone numbers.
Jan

 

[janny108]

Having had numerous parties and gatherings I can tell you, no, most people do not RSVP. I've even highlighted the RSVP and put that we need to know how much food to have and, nope, many still many show up without calling.

Having said that, this is something that God has just given me a peace about. He really showed me that it was more important that I be a good hostess and ready for anything so to speak. I believe situations like this can really show 'the fruits' so to speak of the hostess. So, now, while I'll still put RSVP, I'll also find a reason to call if I really need to know and ask casually, "So will little Susie be able to come for the party?" I'd much rather have the person come to the party even if they don't call first.

I know not everybody will agree with me and will think that I ought to be more concerned but I find life much more pleasant without adding this to my list of life's little stresses.

This sounds more of a hospitality issue if you are having something at your own home. Yes I can see you'd want to be "ready for anything" esp if it is an adult party or BBQ.
I am talking about having a birthday party in another location, where you possibly have to pay for each child in attendance. This is when it becomes a particular problem.

Jan

 

[Entertaining_Angels]

This sounds more of a hospitality issue if you are having something at your own home. Yes I can see you'd want to be "ready for anything" esp if it is an adult party or BBQ.
I am talking about having a birthday party in another location, where you possibly have to pay for each child in attendance. This is when it becomes a particular problem.

Jan

We've done that too. We had to pay per person last year for my son's birthday and although I still put the RSVP, I called each person a couple weeks out and let them know that the place needed a count. Everybody was very kind and gracious and I had my count. We even had one family show up after saying they didn't think they'd be able to and the swim center was very gracious there as well.

 

[janny108]

I think that's a good way to do it. I guess this year it felt a little akward because we had the party in a park. But next year I'm going to do something else where a count will be more desired. Plus this year at our daughter's b-day, my husband got stung by a bee and took off 1/2 day off work so he could sleep.

Jan

 

[BeanMak]

LOL.. this reminds me of my son's 10th birthday, by then I had given up on RSVP's. We were having the party at one of those pizza/habitrail for children kind of places so I told him he could invite all the boys in his class- I figured I would pay for whoever showed up- it wouldn't be more than 15. He took me to mean all the boys in the 5th grade class. We ended up with close to 30 kids squeezed in a TINY room for pizza. The highlight was when the party aid set her fingernail on fire lighting the candles. It was at that point that I offered my son $100 cash next year in leu of a party!

 

[selune]

oh my that is so funny! Maybe for next year...

 

[EmSchmem]

I'm with Oregal and whoever said it is an issue of hospitality. When we are hosting a party, whether in our homes or not, the party isn't about how people treat us.