Right relationship with God query!

Monna said:

I've always had problems with understanding relationships, and realise that the adjectives we use to describe them can mean different things to different people. With God things get even more complicated, I think. Or maybe not - maybe it's just me thinking so.

There are kinds of relationships - formal (as in legal contracts, employer-employee, etc.), family or 'blood' relationships (father, mother, brother, sister, extended family, etc.), personal relationships (friends...maybe enemies or competitors?).

And there can be the status or standing of the relationship - is it good (or maybe not so good), right (a morally right or wrong relationship), close (or distant, stand off-ish), improving (or deteriorating), and so on?

So....I get confused when people equate 'right' with 'good.' (Even when you ask people how they are and they reply 'I'm good' I react, because I was brought up to think that good is not the same as 'healthy, well, not sick, happy,' or any such thing. Jesus said 'only God is good.') Other people don't seem to mind, don't see any distinction.

All personal relationships ultimately are individual and unique. My relationship with God is mine. MissG, your relationship with God is yours. We can both have good/strong/close and improving relationships with God that are very different from one another.

And yet we constantly find that our individual relationships affect each other. We get the situation where people say "Nobody who is a friend of hers can be a friend of mine!" Even God speaks this way sometimes. Either you serve God or you serve the devil. You can't have it both ways. 'You cannot serve God and mammon (money)' said Jesus.

In my relationship with God through time, I have found that He has shown me some things that are a hindrance to coming closer to him, things I used to think were OK, and which He is showing me aren't. Why didn't He say so earlier? Maybe I wasn't ready or receptive previously, and would have fought back. I think this is in part what the Bible means "He will not break a bruised reed." He knows better than me what I can tolerate. I have to pass grade 1 before I can cope with grade 2, so to speak.

Within groups of Christians I think the biggest lack may be grace. We somehow think everyone else is experiencing the same thing in their relationship with God as we ourselves are. We have 'got the light' so you should have too. We don't seem to understand that we all have individual journeys to travel with God. Yes, there are fundamentals that are common to all in our relationships with Him, but we don't all find them in the same order, or at the same rate. Because of our individual personalities and histories we have different issues to confront, different lessons to unlearn, and perhaps different lessons to focus on at any particular time. So you are OK, MissG, not feeling comfortable every time some group of Christians wants to tell you what is the "right" relationship with God.

Which brings me to my problem, which is my lack of grace towards people who tell me the same thing! I also need to learn grace toward all. And focus on my own relationship with God, through Jesus, rather than look at and judge other people's.

God bless you. Let Him draw you close. Listen to him, trust Him and obey; listen to others and evaluate against what God Himself has taught you. Try to be gracious, even when it's hard. [/QUOTEn
Monna!! You def understood what I was asking n where I was coming from wow!! God bless you so much I'm just smiling to the point of tears God bless you I agree and thank God you got what I meant!

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Christie insb said:

I agree with you. Some people thrive on rules, but others of us, not so much. My experience is that I came from a Christian family, but I was abused in that family. Certain denominations emphasize things that are (yes, I will use the word) triggers for me. I end up not seeing God as loving. So anyway. Sometimes just attending a different church whose lingo is a little different has helped me.
Anyway. I have a lot of strong feelings about this subject but they usually do not effect me because I go where I feel comfortable. A pastor in my denomination whose teaching was fine didn't attract me because he was one of those sincere preachers who loudly declares the Gospel. That doesn't mean other people shouldn't go there, and I found a church that fit my personality better where the Gospel is declared in quieter voices.

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ViaCrucis said:

In the Lutheran tradition we make several important distinctions, for example the distinction between Law and Gospel; the distinction between what God commands us to do (e.g. don't murder, don't steal, don't worship other gods, love our neighbor as our self, turn the other cheek, etc) which is Law and what God promises and accomplishes by His own kindness and grace, which is Gospel. So when we say the good news is that God so loved the world that He gave His only-begotten Son, and that by Christ's death and resurrection we have been freely justified by God, by His grace, which we receive through faith, we are saying this is what God does for us, it isn't a work, an effort, something we do--it's something God does for us out of the richness of His own kindness. The Law cannot save or justify us, only the Gospel can do this--because only God by His own kindness can rescue lost sinners and reconcile them to Himself, which He does freely for us in, by, and through Christ who died on the cross and rose from the dead as victor over sin, death, hell, and the devil.

Part of this distinction, therefore, is what we describe as the distinction between Coram Deo (us before God) and Coram Hominibus (us before our fellow human beings). Coram Deo, who we are before God, can only be understood through the Gospel--of God's own loving kindness toward us in Jesus. Our relationship with God is not based upon our merits, our works, our efforts, or any contribution or activity on our part; it is purely this fundamental truth: that God, in Jesus, is for us, He loves us, calls us His children, He says we are His and He is ours, and that we have hope and eternal life with Him on account of His great and incomprehensible love toward us. The relationship we have with God is not about us going up to meet God where He is, but about God meeting us where we are--God in His kindness comes down to us, in Jesus Christ, in His death and resurrection, in His Word, in His Sacraments. God meets us here, God comes down to us, we don't go up to Him. And it is right here, where we are, that God loves us, saves us, and makes us His.

So then, why should we seek to live good and God-honoring lives? To impress God? God isn't impressed by our paltry and sinful works, but you know who does need our good works? Our neighbors. So even as God has come down to us, to meet us where we are, He sends us out to be for others, in love, service, and sacrifice. But don't look to your works to know where you are with God, look only to Jesus Christ and His cross, for this and this alone makes you right with God.

-CryptoLutheran

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ViaCrucis said:

Our actions toward our neighbor ought to be a reflection of the grace and love which God has shown us in Jesus. In the Lord's prayer we pray, "Forgive us our sins, even as we forgive those who have sinned against us." Similar language is used throughout Scripture to direct us to love others even as we have been loved. So yes, God's grace is ours in Jesus, and in Jesus we are called out into the world to love our neighbor. But always remember that it isn't the works you do which makes you right with God, what makes you right with God is what God has done for you in Jesus. It is in light of this, in response to God's grace, that you can in boldness go and love your neighbor, not out of fear, but love. Love for love's sake.

-CryptoLutheran

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Missgrundy said:

Now that I completely agree with amen amen!

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Swan7 said:

@Missgrundy

I know where you're coming from and we really have to be careful what "rules" we are following and by whom. I've heard of many cults form like this and lo and behold people are stuck in torment in the form of "punishments" from these cults. I've heard of many organizations bearing Christ's name but having absolutely no reflection of Him behind those closed doors. It's seriously sad and infuriating.

So I say again, we really have to be careful to who we are listening to and to always test the spirits - not believing everyone by their word alone.
1 John 4:1-6

Now, the Pharisees loved their "rules" over people themselves where Jesus was trying to teach them otherwise. People are much more valuable to Him than we could ever know. We are made in His image, after all - and Jesus Christ died in this fallen image to redeem us. The only thing I have ever seen/read through His Word is that if we love Him, we will do what He has taught us to do.
Matthew 22:37-38
John 14:15-31

Jesus is the Sword that divides truth from lies and faith from unbelief. If you know Him and do what He has taught us, you have a relationship with God. Let no man tell you different, but rather go to God for confirmation.
Romans 3:4

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Long Island Pilgrim said:

Hi Missgrundy,

I think you raise a very fair question. I suspect that God is working with us each individually based on our unique personal qualities and needs. And he may not lead everyone to the same place in the same timing. I had been a spiritual seeker and a student of comparative religion for several years prior to getting saved. I had invested a lot of time into learning all kinds of spiritual traditions and it was getting me nowhere. I was tired of investing my time and energy in false paths. And, interestingly enough, not long before I actually became born again, I spoke to the man in the sky and said " If you are real...I'm ready for a truly devotional path now. I'm tired of all these dead end false paths".

Be careful what you ask for. lol I specifically asked for a "devotional path" and thats exactly what was revealed to me.

So...I'll just answer from my own experience because I've had five years of of very clear communication and guidance from God since the first moment of my Salvation. I'm in prayer every day and I clearly hear his voice and I know his presence is close. I am not walking in darkness. I have the companionship of the Holy Spirit at all times.

So how did this happen? I ignored what "man" told me and I followed the leading of the Holy Spirit as soon a I got baptized. He led me to John 15:10
"If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love."

This was not easy to do because a lot of denominations called me names and told me that I was trying to justify myself through my actions. I didn't listen to them. I listened to the Holy Spirit. And because of this my life has been transformed from despair to victory on every level.

And I eventually learned that many , many , many Christians all over the world actually do keep the commandments. But I didn't know that for years because most people just told me how wrong I was and called me names.

I don't keep all the commandments perfectly but when I fail I just ask for forgiveness in prayer and all is well. God doesn't expect perfection.

So thats what has worked for me. Hope that helps.

God Bless.

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