I have seen in the Word divorce and even separation are both allowed, but where does the Word permit us to remarry when the spouse is yet alive. So, is remarriage (while spouse is yet alive) permitted by man and not by God?
-
Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.
Remarriage?
- Thread starter PWinChrist
- Start date
dayknee
Senior Member
- Mar 13, 2007
- 1,148
- 142
- 54
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
In the case of divorce due to infidelity, the other spouse if able to divorce and remarry. In the case of an unbelieveing spouse departing from a marriage the believing spouse is not bound, permitting remarriage. It is not specifically stated in these situations that remarriage is an option, but one has to understand certain words such as "free" and "not bound". I believe remarriage for the offended party.
I do not believe it is God's will that the offended party suffer due to the offender. I have read countless books and cross referenced them with biblical scripture and this is what I've found.
I do not believe it is God's will that the offended party suffer due to the offender. I have read countless books and cross referenced them with biblical scripture and this is what I've found.
Upvote
0
Your reply still is only your opinion and I am truly searching for God's Word only and I really need Scripture for confirmation. Thank you
Upvote
0
dayknee
Senior Member
- Mar 13, 2007
- 1,148
- 142
- 54
- Gender
- Female
- Faith
- Christian
- Marital Status
- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
Some of it is opinion..but it is based on scriptural understanding.
I don't mean to be rude to you..but you came on asking for advice..and I gave it to you. That was my advice..some more advice would be to get into the word yourself instead of maybe waiting for someone to post advice about your worries of remarriage. Go to your local christian bookstore and start finding various books about marriage/divorce/remarriage and then read them, cross refrence anything in the book that gives you scripture and really study the word yourself.
I've done my work..Ive done my reading..Ive prayed about it and I have made common sense of what scripture says.
Also, if you have a study bible..those are great too. You should also get a hebrew/greek study guid that will give you the meanings of very many words..words such as "free" (used in the context of marriage/remarriage/divorce) and the words "not under bondage". It might help you.
Maybe instead of asking here, you might get into the word and prayer before hand so that the Lord opens your heart to what you really need to know.
Im sure you realize that not every single person will interpert or understand scripture the same way. I posted my way and my understanding.
Upvote
0
ShainaBrina
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Divorce and remarriage was a given in the OT. The husband wrote a certificate of divorce, gave it into her hand then "put away" his wife (sent away). (De 24:1) He couldn't divorce her and keep her around, nor was he to put her away without giving her the certificate of divorce... she needed that certificate in order to remarry. This was what the men in Mal 2 were being rebuked for. Note the Hebrew word here is Shalach which means "put away" not divorce.
God hates putting away not divorce. It was the treacherous practice of the men who were trading in their wives for younger models... not only that but the were sending them away without divorcing them which left them unable to remarry and as that was the only form of economic support women had back then...this left them destitute. By putting them away (without divorcing) they were also able to hang onto the wife's dowry, which would other wise have gone with the wife.
Remember Tamar (Onan) and Judah... This is why Judah said his sin was greater than hers as he was the one who left her in such a desperate state that she was driven to such great lengths to rectify.
Think also of the woman at the well... who had 5 husbands and wasn't married to the current one... It was a common practice in Jesus' day too.
Some people will tell you that Jesus changed the law when it came to divorce, but that is impossible. The Law of God is perfect and it would have been a sin for him to change it. In face Jesus affirms the Law in Matt 5:18 not on jot or tittle shall be changed.
Bottom line divorce and remarriage is OK. May not be God's best for us, but it is allowed.
Blessings
Shaina
God hates putting away not divorce. It was the treacherous practice of the men who were trading in their wives for younger models... not only that but the were sending them away without divorcing them which left them unable to remarry and as that was the only form of economic support women had back then...this left them destitute. By putting them away (without divorcing) they were also able to hang onto the wife's dowry, which would other wise have gone with the wife.
Remember Tamar (Onan) and Judah... This is why Judah said his sin was greater than hers as he was the one who left her in such a desperate state that she was driven to such great lengths to rectify.
Think also of the woman at the well... who had 5 husbands and wasn't married to the current one... It was a common practice in Jesus' day too.
Some people will tell you that Jesus changed the law when it came to divorce, but that is impossible. The Law of God is perfect and it would have been a sin for him to change it. In face Jesus affirms the Law in Matt 5:18 not on jot or tittle shall be changed.
Bottom line divorce and remarriage is OK. May not be God's best for us, but it is allowed.
Blessings
Shaina
Last edited:
Upvote
0
HuntingMan
Well-Known Member
Can I ask the reason for the question ?
ARe you considering remarriage or just wanting to debate ?
If its debate then you arent allowed to do that here but MUST take it to the Philosophy and Ethics subforum where debate is permitted.
That said, the answer to your question is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.
If you just needed a response, thats it. Doesnt get any clearer than that, Im afraid.
If youre looking to debate it, please take it to P&E so we dont have to report the thread
If you are looking for something to research, you can check some of these out...
A little background on divorce
The conditional marriage covenant
Ephesians 5 and the 'mystery' of the church and marriage
Evidences of divorce and remarriage in the Church
Evidences of Remarriage II - Polygamy
What is ''one flesh'' and what is it that God joins together
Jesus was not accused of being born of fornication
Matthew written to Jews, do the differences matter ?
"Causes her to commit adultery"
“Committeth adultery” The Present Indicative deception
Why Jesus didn’t say ''except for ADULTERY''
Matt 19 and Mark 10 record the same event.
Jesus said ''wife'' not "espoused" in His exceptions
"Remain Unmarried or reconcile” vs "not in bondage"
"Let not man Put Asunder" vs "let the unbeliever depart"
Does the bible permit putting away a spouse for abuse?
1 Corinthians 7 Study
Unmarried” - 1 Corinthians 7
"Bound by Law" (Romans 7, 1 Cor 7:39)
"Porneia...aka "fornication"
Are vows always ''unbreakable
What is putting away/divorce-When is a marriage dissolved
Refuting "only during betrothal"
The shock value/distraction of divorce statistics
Gay ‘unions’ are incomparable to remarriages
Deuteronomy 24:1-4 cannot be about sexual sin
Moses...the biggest sinner and lawbreaker of all time
Comparing Hyper-marital doctrines to Hyper-Calvinism
The REST of the story...
Tertullian on Adultery
Last edited:
Upvote
0
HuntingMan
Well-Known Member
These threads always keep me on guard.
9 times out of 10 they arent really inquiries at all but are veiled attempts to start an MDR debate...not that that is the case here, but the response you received make me believe that it is a real possibility here.
Upvote
0
You hit the nail on the head, I actually started reading the bible in job and am almost to the new testimate and am going through a divorce now and looking to get remarried so Duet 24 was a breath of fresh air, not that I would have not gotten remarried anyways becasue I dont think remarriage being a sin is even logical even in the absense of scripture. Also what is the logic behind why pre-marital sex is sin, and im not talking about the people who go to the bar and are hooking up with someone different every week but people who are genuinly commited to each other but just have not done the state paper work or had a cerimony (such as a common law marriage), when you put it in that context it takes away all the STD, unwanted pregnancy arguments and you are left with "because the bible says so", what I have learned from reading the bible is every "rule" in the bible is to protect us from real life consequences. But there are no consequences to a common law marriage. I know the chruch and alot of christians have a very staunch stance to this topic so I would appriciate an open minded response as possible as I do not really feel like debating but it would be nice to understand since there is no real clear "marriage cerimony" that is required in the bible. Maybe some of my answers are in the references you posted?
Can I ask the reason for the question ?
ARe you considering remarriage or just wanting to debate ?
If its debate then you arent allowed to do that here but MUST take it to the Philosophy and Ethics subforum where debate is permitted.
That said, the answer to your question is Deuteronomy 24:1-4.
If you just needed a response, thats it. Doesnt get any clearer than that, Im afraid.
If youre looking to debate it, please take it to P&E so we dont have to report the thread
If you are looking for something to research, you can check some of these out...
Upvote
0
ShainaBrina
The joy of the Lord is my strength
Actually the bible has a lot to say about the marriage ceremony. Remember Christ is our bridegroom.
Upvote
0
I understand the bible has alot to say about marriage but not about what a couple has to to become biblically married. From what I understand currant marriage rituals are societal and not nessicarily biblical.
Upvote
0
HuntingMan
Well-Known Member
Quite true. Otherwise ALL cultures would have to use the same exact "ritual" in order for it to be valid as a marriage.
Based on my own studies I believe God is less concerned with ritual and more concerned with commitment, sincerity, honor and treatment of our spouses.
Upvote
0
eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
As you mentioned, God's commands are usually good for protecting us. People who move in together because they're not ready to get married aren't really committed, are they? They're playing house while keeping an exit available. And of course an unwanted pregnancy is still an issue when you're playing house. And for that matter so are STDs. You're not married after all.
Speaking of Biblical times, the couple and all their neighbors knew they were "married". It was a commitment made before others and God.
Why mess with the plan? Trying to find loopholes and twist scripture to fit what we want to do seems like a road to trouble and pain.
Upvote
0
Even married couples still have an exit with a no fault divorce so what is the difference. If the couple is committed there should be no risk of STD's. And the kid issue could even apply to married couples because not all married couples want kids so unwanted pregnancy can apply to anyone married or not married. I would ask that in your next post you try to avoid debate "Trying to find loopholes and twist scripture to fit what we want to do" as I dont really want to debate I just want to understand where it states in the bible what a "marriage cerimoney" is suppose to look like because a couple living together can be made know to there friends and family and usually is because they have poker nights and such so they have to come to a new address, I am just wondering if the chruch is tell alot of people that what they are doing is sin when really its not.
Upvote
0
HuntingMan
Well-Known Member
Very true.
I personally believe that a covenant is required for marriage to exist, ritual or not.
The woman at the well was clearly with a man who Jesus said wasnt her husband, so I dont believe that 'shacking' up is equivalent to marriage.
What I do believe, based on the study of scripture, is that marriage consists of a vow to be married between the man and woman that God oversees and rules over. Without that vow (covenant) there is no marriage.
Where many will disagree with me is that I dont believe that its nullified before GOD by others either knowing about it or not knowing about it.
I believe that marriage 'ought' to be made public where possible and acceptable, but I do not bellieve that God turns a deaf ear to a sincere covenant made by a man and woman just because they dont inform the world of that covenant.
Now, we also are told to avoid appearances of evil..and not to cause someone else to stumble...so where it IS possible we ought to at least try to stick to the customs of our individual cultural views that is commonly accepted by the brethren living in that particular society...ie if exchanging chickens is what society calls marriage, and the brethren there exchange chickens when they marry, to keep from appearing to be doing evil (living in fornication), we ought to do the same EXCEPT in some extreme circumstances.
Where many will also disagree with my views is that I do not define Gods marriage covenant with Caesars 'licensing'.
Just some thoughts
Upvote
0
I would agree with this although I think our society has put quite a bit of onous on the "marriage ceremony" like with these TV shows of people putting on 50K weddings. I think there is way to much hoop haa involved these days with weddings, 6 months of planning and all that and in the mean time your not suppose to be having sex hmm seems like a cultural failure in my opinion.
Very true.
I personally believe that a covenant is required for marriage to exist, ritual or not.
The woman at the well was clearly with a man who Jesus said wasnt her husband, so I dont believe that 'shacking' up is equivalent to marriage.
What I do believe, based on the study of scripture, is that marriage consists of a vow to be married between the man and woman that God oversees and rules over. Without that vow (covenant) there is no marriage.
Where many will disagree with me is that I dont believe that its nullified before GOD by others either knowing about it or not knowing about it.
I believe that marriage 'ought' to be made public where possible and acceptable, but I do not bellieve that God turns a deaf ear to a sincere covenant made by a man and woman just because they dont inform the world of that covenant.
Now, we also are told to avoid appearances of evil..and not to cause someone else to stumble...so where it IS possible we ought to at least try to stick to the customs of our individual cultural views that is commonly accepted by the brethren living in that particular society...ie if exchanging chickens is what society calls marriage, and the brethren there exchange chickens when they marry, to keep from appearing to be doing evil (living in fornication), we ought to do the same EXCEPT in some extreme circumstances.
Where many will also disagree with my views is that I do not define Gods marriage covenant with Caesars 'licensing'.
Just some thoughts
Upvote
0
eatenbylocusts
Senior Veteran
Sorry if you don't like it "Trying to find loopholes and twist scripture to fit what we want to do". I'm calling it like I see it. What is the reason for not having a legal marriage? I can see the point in this if one party would lose some kind of benefit from their deceased spouse, but they could still have a ceremony with a member of clergy to bless their union. What other reason is there not to make it legal?
And yes STDs and unwanted pregnancies can still occur in a legal marriage. You stated these wouldn't be issues in a commited relationship and that is why I mentioned it.
You mention the ridiculous expense of some weddings today, but no one is required to do that. Take a trip to city hall and it's legal. Personally, I would like my next and last ceremony to be a simple affair with cake, punch, and possibly some sandwiches. Depending on the location of the reception maybe have a country DJ and force all the guests to do the electric slide. Yeah, I can see it now.
Upvote
0
HuntingMan
Well-Known Member
Which is another good point..what IS the reasoning ?
Some brethren, myself included, are against licensing (aka 'permission') because marriage belongs to God and HE is the one who gives man 'right' to marry. Its like giving our right to breath air over to the government. That is God given and cannot be revoked by man in the way government has overstepped its authority as they have.
That said, we do have a license, not to define our marriage, but simply because we know the protections it offers. My wife cannot get my death benefits in case I die without it.
Because of the way our legal system is set up a marriage license is the only way to really protect our spouse when we die, and for that reason we should have the license as the law currently stands.
Of course, there may come a point where its just not worth it to have one and we'll have to take a stand of some sort.
If a man and woman dont want a license because they dont want to give their marriage over to the government, more power to them. But if its just to make an easy getaway in case things dont work out, then they really need to re-examine their reasons for being with this person to begin with.
Sad thing is that a marriage license, in the end, doesnt do any good for those marriages where its doomed to failure.
They dont stop anyone from cheating.
They dont stop the spouse from leaving.
The dont stop them from moving in with someone else.
For those marriages where both are honorable people, a license is a very good tool for insuring the protection of our spouse.
For those marriages where one person has a treacherous heart, the license becomes a noose around the neck of the other spouse because it causes them to have to spend money they often dont having trying to break free of this person bent on tearing them down.
Frankly Im all for easy divorce where one person wants to leave.
Paul himself concurs in 1 Cor 7.
*IF* the unbeliever leaves....LET THEM LEAVE....we as believers are called to peace and have no authority to fight them in the matter.
Letting them leave means allowing them to divorce or depart the marriage unhindered.
The alternative is to fight them and make a huge mess of things and make us as believers seem to be more hostile than we ought to be.
If the unbeliever wishes to depart the marriage, we let them. WE are called to live in peace.
In both of my previous marriages it became clear that all my fighting against my ex's was in vain. They wanted out of the marriage and there was nothing I could do to change their hearts. I finally, after fighting them and trying to save the marriage, had to do what PAUL tells us to do....let them depart. (course, I got stuck with the tab)
Absolutely agree.
My wedding was less than $300 and we had it in a big church. Just kept it simple.
Or even in a back yard, your house, a park, etc....
Upvote
0
Similar threads
