I've been away for a while, and just came back to the forums after a year of watching and waiting to see what would become of my marriage. Unfortunately, my wife decided to push the divorce and now it's over.
Although I have doubts as to whether or not I'll ever be a good prospect for remarriage after what I've been through, the big question that runs through my mind is whether or not God would even allow me to remarry? I've spent countless hours reading and researching it and all that I know for certain is that it's a murky area full of uncertainty. I am aware of God's opinion of divorce and I share that opinion, but my wife left me no choice - she pushed it through the system. I know that in cases of adultery and the hard heart of a person who is unwilling to let it go, God will tolerate a divorce, but I believe that He'd rather have reconciliation. I also know of the scripture where Paul tells us that if an unbeliever departs, let them - we're not bound at that point.
I guess that what confuses me is some of the material I've read about the unbeliever departing. In my marriage, I was backslidden and married an unbeliever. She eventually tried to "go along with" the church/Christianity thing, but it never suited her. In fact, I can clearly see the point at which our marriage began to fall apart and that was when I got my life right and came back to God. Shortly after, and despite her claims of salvation, she began a campaign of serial adultery that culminated in her leaving me last year for one of the many guys with whom she had an affair. Rather than growing spiritually, her morals spiraled out of control until she finally realized that marriage to me was a drag and prevented her from indulging in sexual immorality.
But I've read that the departing unbeliever passage doesn't necessarily refer to people who, like me, married an unbeliever out of rebellion. I've read that in fact, I am not allowed to remarry. If we had both been unbelievers and then I was saved and she wasn't, then that would be the situation that would trigger the departing unbeliever rule.
The more I read, the more it seems that my situation is not clear. I am under the conviction that to be safe rather than sorry, I should abstain from marriage, unless God removes my ex-wife from this mortal plane. Then of course, I'd be free from her and could remarry.
It's a terrible thing that I've done to myself and my life should serve as a warning to young Christians who think that marrying an unbeliever is not as terrible as they've been told. I have paid a dreadful price for the past 19 years and I fear that I may be paying for the rest of my life.
Fortunately, my dream of having children never materialized because my ex didn't want any. I don't have to raise children without their mother in a post-divorce scenario (she'd have left them with me, I'm certain). That's the only silver lining in my situation.
Anyway, I know that it's a worn-out topic, but I was curious as to what anybody else may have to say about it. I would rather remain unmarried than remarry in the absence of less-than-clear understanding of what God would have for me to do. Having lived a life without consideration of His commands for so long, I want to try to do things right for the time that I have left.
Sorry this is so lengthy... Just wanted to be thorough...
Thanks,
Saturnnights
Although I have doubts as to whether or not I'll ever be a good prospect for remarriage after what I've been through, the big question that runs through my mind is whether or not God would even allow me to remarry? I've spent countless hours reading and researching it and all that I know for certain is that it's a murky area full of uncertainty. I am aware of God's opinion of divorce and I share that opinion, but my wife left me no choice - she pushed it through the system. I know that in cases of adultery and the hard heart of a person who is unwilling to let it go, God will tolerate a divorce, but I believe that He'd rather have reconciliation. I also know of the scripture where Paul tells us that if an unbeliever departs, let them - we're not bound at that point.
I guess that what confuses me is some of the material I've read about the unbeliever departing. In my marriage, I was backslidden and married an unbeliever. She eventually tried to "go along with" the church/Christianity thing, but it never suited her. In fact, I can clearly see the point at which our marriage began to fall apart and that was when I got my life right and came back to God. Shortly after, and despite her claims of salvation, she began a campaign of serial adultery that culminated in her leaving me last year for one of the many guys with whom she had an affair. Rather than growing spiritually, her morals spiraled out of control until she finally realized that marriage to me was a drag and prevented her from indulging in sexual immorality.
But I've read that the departing unbeliever passage doesn't necessarily refer to people who, like me, married an unbeliever out of rebellion. I've read that in fact, I am not allowed to remarry. If we had both been unbelievers and then I was saved and she wasn't, then that would be the situation that would trigger the departing unbeliever rule.
The more I read, the more it seems that my situation is not clear. I am under the conviction that to be safe rather than sorry, I should abstain from marriage, unless God removes my ex-wife from this mortal plane. Then of course, I'd be free from her and could remarry.
It's a terrible thing that I've done to myself and my life should serve as a warning to young Christians who think that marrying an unbeliever is not as terrible as they've been told. I have paid a dreadful price for the past 19 years and I fear that I may be paying for the rest of my life.
Fortunately, my dream of having children never materialized because my ex didn't want any. I don't have to raise children without their mother in a post-divorce scenario (she'd have left them with me, I'm certain). That's the only silver lining in my situation.
Anyway, I know that it's a worn-out topic, but I was curious as to what anybody else may have to say about it. I would rather remain unmarried than remarry in the absence of less-than-clear understanding of what God would have for me to do. Having lived a life without consideration of His commands for so long, I want to try to do things right for the time that I have left.
Sorry this is so lengthy... Just wanted to be thorough...
Thanks,
Saturnnights
