Religious OCD

[Kitty.]

Okay so brief summary of me. I'm 15. I accepted Christ (committed my life to Him) at age 6. I doubted my Salvation for a day when I was 11. That was just a normal doubt that every Christian gets.

Note: I have never been to a mental health professional and my parents won't take me to one.

I believe that I have OCD, GAD, and some form of bipolar or depression.

For about a year, I have had these on and off panics about "What if I am not saved?" I have had dreams about going to Hell. I am so scared that when I die, that God will say "Depart from me ye evildoer, I never knew you." I have panicked to the point of where I couldn't eat. I have panicked to the point of where sleep was my ONLY relief and even then I get nightmares. The thought of hell terrifies me.

I believe in Divine Election.
Matthew 24:24 says
For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if [it were] possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

There obviously is an elect group.
What if I am not a part of it?
What if I am not elect, yet think I believe, and then die and go to hell?

What if I go to hell? What if what if what if?

Any advice?

 

[goldenviolet]

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

James 1:1-8, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings. Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

Salvation is Jesus' job. let Him keep His promise, "I will never leave or forsake you"... you just except His understanding over yours... and stay in the safety of the of this promise spiritually:​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NKJV)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NIV)
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NLT)
3 All honor to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is by his boundless mercy that God has given us the privilege of being born again. Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. 4 For God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children. It is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. 5 And God, in his mighty power, will protect you until you receive this salvation, because you are trusting him. It will be revealed on the last day for all to see. ​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (ASV)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to his great mercy begat us again unto a living hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 unto an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who by the power of God are guarded through faith unto a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NIRV)
3 Give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In his great mercy he has given us a new birth and a hope that is alive. It is alive because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. 4 He has given us new birth so that we might share in what belongs to him. It is a gift that can never be destroyed. It can never spoil or even fade away. It is kept in heaven for you. 5 Through faith you are kept safe by God's power. Your salvation is going to be completed. It is ready to be shown to you in the last days.​

practice filling up on God's promises...

practice applying them to your life...​

​

Romans 8:31- 39
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

xo dee​

 

[RobertZ]

Okay so brief summary of me. I'm 15. I accepted Christ (committed my life to Him) at age 6. I doubted my Salvation for a day when I was 11. That was just a normal doubt that every Christian gets.

Note: I have never been to a mental health professional and my parents won't take me to one.

I believe that I have OCD, GAD, and some form of bipolar or depression.

For about a year, I have had these on and off panics about "What if I am not saved?" I have had dreams about going to Hell. I am so scared that when I die, that God will say "Depart from me ye evildoer, I never knew you." I have panicked to the point of where I couldn't eat. I have panicked to the point of where sleep was my ONLY relief and even then I get nightmares. The thought of hell terrifies me.

I believe in Divine Election.
Matthew 24:24 says
For there shall arise false Christs, and false prophets, and shall shew great signs and wonders; insomuch that, if [it were] possible, they shall deceive the very elect.

There obviously is an elect group.
What if I am not a part of it?
What if I am not elect, yet think I believe, and then die and go to hell?

What if I go to hell? What if what if what if?

Any advice?

Kitty I know to well how you feel and I wish I could say something that would help you but unfortunatly im still having a very very hard time with all this stuff dealing with Election, reprobation etc.

Just know your not alone, I to have been dealing with doubts about my salvation pretty much my entire life but just over these past two years it has peaked and has gotten out of control. It couldnt of happened at a worse time in my life since I have two lovely daughters and a lovely wife to take care of.

 

[Kitty.]

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

James 1:1-8, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations:
Greetings. Trials and Temptations
2 Consider it pure joy my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4 Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6 But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7 That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

Salvation is Jesus' job. let Him keep His promise, "I will never leave or forsake you"... you just except His understanding over yours... and stay in the safety of the of this promise spiritually:​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NKJV)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to His abundant mercy has begotten us again to a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 to an inheritance incorruptible and undefiled and that does not fade away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who are kept by the power of God through faith for salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NIV)
3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ! In his great mercy he has given us new birth into a living hope through the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 and into an inheritance that can never perish, spoil or fade—kept in heaven for you, 5 who through faith are shielded by God's power until the coming of the salvation that is ready to be revealed in the last time.​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NLT)
3 All honor to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, for it is by his boundless mercy that God has given us the privilege of being born again. Now we live with a wonderful expectation because Jesus Christ rose again from the dead. 4 For God has reserved a priceless inheritance for his children. It is kept in heaven for you, pure and undefiled, beyond the reach of change and decay. 5 And God, in his mighty power, will protect you until you receive this salvation, because you are trusting him. It will be revealed on the last day for all to see. ​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (ASV)
3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who according to his great mercy begat us again unto a living hope by the resurrection of Jesus Christ from the dead, 4 unto an inheritance incorruptible, and undefiled, and that fadeth not away, reserved in heaven for you, 5 who by the power of God are guarded through faith unto a salvation ready to be revealed in the last time. ​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

1 Peter 1:3-5 (NIRV)
3 Give praise to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. In his great mercy he has given us a new birth and a hope that is alive. It is alive because Jesus Christ rose from the dead. 4 He has given us new birth so that we might share in what belongs to him. It is a gift that can never be destroyed. It can never spoil or even fade away. It is kept in heaven for you. 5 Through faith you are kept safe by God's power. Your salvation is going to be completed. It is ready to be shown to you in the last days.​

practice filling up on God's promises...

practice applying them to your life...​

​

Romans 8:31- 39
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written:
"For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.​

practice filling up on God's promises...
practice applying them to your life...​

xo dee​

Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate it. I'll look over those verses.

Kitty I know to well how you feel and I wish I could say something that would help you but unfortunatly im still having a very very hard time with all this stuff dealing with Election, reprobation etc.

Just know your not alone, I to have been dealing with doubts about my salvation pretty much my entire life but just over these past two years it has peaked and has gotten out of control. It couldnt of happened at a worse time in my life since I have two lovely daughters and a lovely wife to take care of.

Stay strong Robert. You will make it through this. Have you seen a professional about OCD?

 

[dabro]

Awww Kitty I'm sorry I know it's hard I'm dealing with a new theme myself so just hang in there. Where here for you!

 

[Kitty.]

Awww Kitty I'm sorry I know it's hard I'm dealing with a new theme myself so just hang in there. Where here for you!

Thanks. It's a really tough battle. I appreciate you all being here for me. We are all here for you as well.

 

[RobertZ]

Sounds like you are doing well dabro, im glad for you.

 

[seajoy]

Why don't your parents care enough to get you some help? That concerns me greatly. Please talk to a school counselor about what you are going through, as there is no need to suffer so much when there is help for this disorder. Catch this while you are young. You need therapy very much. It works - I did it years ago and am not plagued with those nasty thoughts anymore. Would your parents keep you away from the doctor if you had cancer? Mental illness is a disorder that can be helped. God uses many things to help us. Just like Jesus didn't need to use mud to heal the blind man - but He used it anyway. His power can be seen in so many ways.

 

[shelovesChrist]

Hey Kitty, i used to fear where id end up but Jesus said He is the way . He's not going to lead you to hell , if we follow Him we know where we're going . =) He wants us to have assurance in our salvation . John the Baptist had doubts, and he asked the Lord for confirmation . sometimes we need to in order to see if its really the Lord, don't mean we're doubting, we just want to make sure because we know this is the time for falseness . He understands . praying for you =)

 

[amor conquista todo]

sometimes kitty we can be our own worst enemy..
we repent..God forgives us.. but we dont move forward.. we wont forgive ourselves. we let our own guilt suffocate us.. this is satan i believe putting these thoughts in our head..
we have to believe what Jesus promised us.. think of the sinners Jesus encountered in His day & how He dealt with them and forgave them & He promised them heaven..
concentrate on that..dont let your thoughts turn negative..

 

[Kitty.]

Why don't your parents care enough to get you some help? That concerns me greatly. Please talk to a school counselor about what you are going through, as there is no need to suffer so much when there is help for this disorder. Catch this while you are young. You need therapy very much. It works - I did it years ago and am not plagued with those nasty thoughts anymore. Would your parents keep you away from the doctor if you had cancer? Mental illness is a disorder that can be helped. God uses many things to help us. Just like Jesus didn't need to use mud to heal the blind man - but He used it anyway. His power can be seen in so many ways.

My parents don't know I have this. I mentioned religious OCD to my mom when I told her about John Bunyan and she viewed it as 'weird.' My dad doesn't believe in mental health disorders, even though he OBVIOUSLY has some. I don't want to tell them because they will just judge me and make me feel awful about it. I am home-schooled so a school counselor is out of the question. I'm honestly scared to tell people because I don't want a ton of people finding out. A lot of people would really judge me a lot. :/

Hey Kitty, i used to fear where id end up but Jesus said He is the way . He's not going to lead you to hell , if we follow Him we know where we're going . =) He wants us to have assurance in our salvation . John the Baptist had doubts, and he asked the Lord for confirmation . sometimes we need to in order to see if its really the Lord, don't mean we're doubting, we just want to make sure because we know this is the time for falseness . He understands . praying for you =)

Hey,

Thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to see that I'm not the only one going through things like this.

sometimes kitty we can be our own worst enemy..
we repent..God forgives us.. but we dont move forward.. we wont forgive ourselves. we let our own guilt suffocate us.. this is satan i believe putting these thoughts in our head..
we have to believe what Jesus promised us.. think of the sinners Jesus encountered in His day & how He dealt with them and forgave them & He promised them heaven..
concentrate on that..dont let your thoughts turn negative..

Thank you for your encouragement.

 

[Migdala]

Kitty, I have struggled with this too-wondering if I am really saved. Mine is because of some of the thoughts I have in my mind-I am very conscious of when my thoughts are "unchristian", even though I very seldom act on those thoughts.

There is a condition called Scrupulosity that could very well be what you are experiencing. I have it myself, and it is horrible! This website has really helped me though-it has tons of helpful articles and testimonies of people struggling with this disorder. It's basically called "Religious OCD" and it manifests as constant doubt in whether you are really saved, or whether you have commited sin or not.....it's when you focus on something and cannot get it out of your head.

Hope that helps!

Scrupulosity: Help when religious obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) causes unwanted blasphemy, profanity, cussing the Holy Spirit or guilt feelings

 

[shelovesChrist]

God bless you . I felt the same way . It feels good when you have one somebody to talk to . I had a friend who went through something similar and it was amazing to let it out . But remember God is always there . Available anytime . When it gets so bad and you feel like you're going to break get on your knees and talk with Our Savior. prayer gives you strength . some days Gods Spirit would just cover me . and sciptures the Holy Spirit put on my heart gave me peace . read John 14 & 15 . the chapters . John 16:21-22 . and remember you can vent to us on here . we understand you . praying for you

 

[Kitty.]

Kitty, I have struggled with this too-wondering if I am really saved. Mine is because of some of the thoughts I have in my mind-I am very conscious of when my thoughts are "unchristian", even though I very seldom act on those thoughts.

There is a condition called Scrupulosity that could very well be what you are experiencing. I have it myself, and it is horrible! This website has really helped me though-it has tons of helpful articles and testimonies of people struggling with this disorder. It's basically called "Religious OCD" and it manifests as constant doubt in whether you are really saved, or whether you have commited sin or not.....it's when you focus on something and cannot get it out of your head.

Hope that helps!

Scrupulosity: Help when religious obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) causes unwanted blasphemy, profanity, cussing the Holy Spirit or guilt feelings

I don't have a fear of blaspheming the Holy Spirit, mine is more of 'what if I have a false belief,' 'what if I go to hell,' etc. However, I'm sure that your type of religious OCD is just as frustrating as mine. I can definitely empathize
Thanks for the website. I'll check it out.

God bless you . I felt the same way . It feels good when you have one somebody to talk to . I had a friend who went through something similar and it was amazing to let it out . But remember God is always there . Available anytime . When it gets so bad and you feel like you're going to break get on your knees and talk with Our Savior. prayer gives you strength . some days Gods Spirit would just cover me . and sciptures the Holy Spirit put on my heart gave me peace . read John 14 & 15 . the chapters . John 16:21-22 . and remember you can vent to us on here . we understand you . praying for you

It does feel good to have people to talk to. It makes it a bit easier. There are so many times when I do that. I do that almost every night. I have devotionals that eased my mind and things like that. I will read both of those. Thank you so much.

 

[dabro]

I love that picture of Jesus grasping us when we enter the Kingdom thru His Grace and Love.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Ok, don't stone me for saying this, but kitty, I don't believe in the doctrine of "election" in the way some denominations do. Some scriptures might seem to indicate this doctrine but there are many others which fly in the face of that. Many groups and theologians do NOT believe this is what the Bible teaches. However, if I DID believe in it, and I don't..... But if I did, I don't think you would be concerned much about your salvation if you weren't part of the elect.

Doubting one's salvation for a Christian who struggles with OCD is very, very common. I agree with seajoy that you probably do need some professional help with this. I realize you said you don't think this is possible. Just sayin'...

 

[Kitty.]

Ok, don't stone me for saying this, but kitty, I don't believe in the doctrine of "election" in the way some denominations do. Some scriptures might seem to indicate this doctrine but there are many others which fly in the face of that. Many groups and theologians do NOT believe this is what the Bible teaches. However, if I DID believe in it, and I don't..... But if I did, I don't think you would be concerned much about your salvation if you weren't part of the elect.

Doubting one's salvation for a Christian who struggles with OCD is very, very common. I agree with seajoy that you probably do need some professional help with this. I realize you said you don't think this is possible. Just sayin'...

I won't stone you lol don't worry. I respect different theology beliefs.

It's so tough when I doubt. I wish I could get professional help but I am only 15

 

[seajoy]

Sorry you are unable to get help at this time....but you can help yourself by saying "so what" to the thoughts. Do this EVERYTIME you have an obsessive thought about God and your faith/being saved etc.... You will trick your brain into not getting all hyped up from the thoughts - then they start to go away. This seems like a very wrong thing to do, but it's the "rightest" thing for OCD that there is. I suffered from the same type of OCD as you for 8yrs....hospital stays and everything....and I was able, with God's help, to overcome this disorder. You can too, as you sound like a real strong gal.

 

[Kitty.]

Sorry you are unable to get help at this time....but you can help yourself by saying "so what" to the thoughts. Do this EVERYTIME you have an obsessive thought about God and your faith/being saved etc.... You will trick your brain into not getting all hyped up from the thoughts - then they start to go away. This seems like a very wrong thing to do, but it's the "rightest" thing for OCD that there is. I suffered from the same type of OCD as you for 8yrs....hospital stays and everything....and I was able, with God's help, to overcome this disorder. You can too, as you sound like a real strong gal.

I've been trying to, but it's really hard to say "so what" to thoughts about hell. Because hell is real and eternal and scary. I've been suicidal quite a few times because of the thoughts.
Thanks sea joy. I'm glad you overcame it.

 

[kaykay9.0]

Sorry you are unable to get help at this time....but you can help yourself by saying "so what" to the thoughts. Do this EVERYTIME you have an obsessive thought about God and your faith/being saved etc.... You will trick your brain into not getting all hyped up from the thoughts - then they start to go away. This seems like a very wrong thing to do, but it's the "rightest" thing for OCD that there is. I suffered from the same type of OCD as you for 8yrs....hospital stays and everything....and I was able, with God's help, to overcome this disorder. You can too, as you sound like a real strong gal.

I've been trying to, but it's really hard to say "so what" to thoughts about hell. Because hell is real and eternal and scary. I've been suicidal quite a few times because of the thoughts.
Thanks sea joy. I'm glad you overcame it.

It IS indeed hard to just say "so what" to the thoughts and go about your day, but this IS a good key. The more we obsess on the thoughts the worse they become. It feeds our OCD tendencies. It's kind of like we can't be rational in the area of our obsession. We get where we can't '"see the forest for the trees." When we can do as seajoy suggests, it helps us sort things out from a rational perspective. Prayers for you~