Relationships and School

[none the wiser]

I'm just curious...what are your thoughts on starting a relationship in the early years of college? Marriage before you finish school?

Part of the reason I ask is because I plan to go to med school, and I can't imagine that it'd be easy to maintain a healthy marriage while I'm in school, particularly if my s/o is also in school.

I guess it would seem that a dating relationship can only go so far before it's time to take the next step, yknow? Seems like a balancing act.

Anyway, just curious

 

[Singing Bush]

Well personally I am of the opinion that it's kind of silly to put any limits on relationships because of work or timing or what have you. You really gonna pass up a great guy because you're worried about medical school?

I'm in my 2nd year of medical school now and I've heard many people say that -- and who knows maybe it works out best for them that way -- but a good deal of my fellow classmates are married and seem rather happily so. Many have gotten married only recently and still seem happily so. Sure there'll be some divorces in the future that's pretty much certain, but probably for the most part most marriages will go on just as they would as if the people involved were lawyers, or plumbers, or VCR repair specialists instead. And heck, if you're worried about medical school, you think it's gonna get any easier with residency or fellowship or the first few years after residency paying off debts and adjusting to a real career as opposed to perpetual studenthood? And double heck, just as their are added troubles with having a significant other in school it can also be a substantial benefit and source of support. It can get mighty lonely sometimes when you're spending your nights and weekends at the library only to return to an empty apartment.

But hey that's just my opinion. I personally think if you keep your priorities straight and try to keep a balance you can survive and thrive through most of what will come at you in life, but I'm not you. If you know you want to be a hardcore medical student or know relationships with you just don't work out very well in those scenarios then perhaps it's best to wait. You may be waiting your life away though.

 

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

Things like this remind me of how skewed our perceptions of marriage are. A thousand years ago, you probably wouldn't have had time to "have a healthy marriage." Yet somehow, people loved their spouses as keenly -- moreso, some argue -- as we do today. Busy schedules isn't going to ruin your marriage. It might not be the marriage you dreamed you'd have, but the Holy Spirit will work through both of you strongly no matter your life situation.

 

[winglovesall]

Well, I think it's alright to date during when you're in College (or we only have University here in Australia -- no College)

Keep praying and have faith, the Holy Spirit will work through you!

 

[fishstix]

I think that for most people it wouldn't be a good idea to get married while still in university. It will work ok for some, but for the majority it's probably a better idea to wait, even if the relationship started in the early years of university or earlier. Of course, that's assuming that the majority of people will only take about 3-5 years to finish university. People do a lot of growing and maturing during the university years, so you (and your beloved) may not be quite the same person coming out as you were going in.

 

[covenantwmn]

My neice is going to be a licensed nurse practitioner, she got married a year ago in July, just graduated with her Bachelor's this past May and has left for Nebraska to continue her education. He graduated before her and is working until she's finished, then they're going into ministry. If you both love the LORD, know His direction and He gives you that person, I think it can work. God bless!

 

[Tenorvoice]

My dear I would have to thin kthtat trying to finish school would need to be your top priority right now. THe first year of a marraige is that harest one for anyone to go through. Medical school is hard enough as it is. I could not imagine trying to begin a new life with a new mate, why trying to finish school like that.

My advice to you would have to be finish school first. Then see what God has planned for your life. If you are seeing someone right now, then if you are truely ment to be together, then he will have the will to wait for you to finish.

JMO tho'

 

[JPPT1974]

My brother had two years in college & his wife graduated already with a degree when they married.
My sister only went to a special school as did her husband for a year each before and during their marriage as newlyweds.

 

[hazeleyes80]

If you want to go to med school, I'd be careful about getting serious now. Who's to say you'll go to med school in the state you're in now? You might have to move across the country. If you do get serious with anyone, make sure they understand what your intentions regarding that are. Make sure they'd be willing to see you through med school even if they'd have to move or be in a long-distance relationship.

 

[BlackRain]

i don't have a problem with it either way. i think it's a personal conviction. everyone's different. i'd get married in college. it would be nice if my oh so-lovely-husband was out of school, but if you know you're going to get married-get married! why put it off? well, as long as we both have jobs and an income coming in. yeah, i'm not big on long relationships.

 

[winglovesall]

So, it really doesn't matter at all when. As long as you pray!