I'm not sure if this is the correct forum for asking this, but seemed to be most appropriate. I have some issues in my life right now that have my kind of lost as what God is wanting me to do.
I am a 23 year old male. I am university educated (currently doing post-graduate studies in my chosen field) and am financially independent, even to the point of sending money back to parents every fortnight to assist them in family saving (parents want to be able to purchase a house & my siblings and I are completely ok with helping them be able to do that). I live with a relative and one of my sisters (to save on living expenses) interstate to my parents and visit them twice a year when I'm having holidays.
Our family has always been incredibly close. My mum left the workforce before my oldest sibling was born to home educate. We have never been involved in a church at any point since before I was born due to a negative experience my parents had with a church shortly after they married.
Approximately eighteen months ago, shortly after I moved out of home, I become involved in a penpal forum without my parents knowledge. I ceased using this forum shortly after starting without any noteworthy incidents, however my account remained open with one of email addresses on the site. Last November (2015) I received contact from a girl 21 years old attending university in Thailand. I was somewhat cautious with this girl due to stories I had heard about Thai women that worked in bars in the hopes of profitably engaging in a relationship with foreign men (although a little research on the internet showed me that there are in fact many thai people not involved in this industry at all). Most of our communication has been through text message with us video calling on 4 different occasions.
The more I spoke with this girl, I realised my fears were unfounded. She attended university and lived with her grandmother on the outskirts of Bangkok. I came to (and still do) trust that she is nothing but honest with me in regards to this. As she came to trust me, I learned much about her past, including that when she was 18 she was involved with an older thai man and lost her virginity to him, something that she feels deep shame for. Her father left her mother when she was young and when she was 13, her mother left her and her sisters in the care of their aunt and grandmother.
I had the opportunity to share Jesus with this girl and told her about the best Thai translation of the bible and a book named 'From Buddha to Jesus' that I felt would be of benefit to her. She was responsive to this and wanted to know about what I believed. She started to read both, starting with 'From Buddha to Jesus'.
At Christmas (2015) I visited my family but did not speak of the girl with them as she was still reading the book and I felt I should give her the space to make a decision without involving my family. I returned to my place of work in the new year and after reading the gospel of John, in February (2016) the girl decided she wanted to become a Christian. I skyped her and we prayed together as she gave her heart to Jesus. At this point I wanted to be able to speak with my parents as I had come to care deeply for this girl even though she did not yet know (I had been able to gather that she too cared for me, she was a little more open in how she felt that I). For a number of reasons however, I felt that I could not tell my parents on skype or on the phone, namely that I knew there would be much conversation surrounding what I was going to tell them and it would be challenging at best to conduct this in my relative's house (I knew my parents would not want the relative knowing this straight away). I knew I would visit my family again in June, so decided to delay informing them this regarding what had occurred until my visit.
In the intervening months, I ended up sharing with this girl that I had developed feelings for her but that I did not yet know what God's will in this situation was - at no point did I tell her that I 'love her' or anything that I felt would be inappropriate. She accepted this and knew that if I would be able to arrange a time for us to meet, I would want to speak with my parents first regarding this.
Earlier this month I came to visit my parents and shared with them what had happened. Their response to this I have found a little difficult to agree with, but I have not argued with them and listened to how they feel, also telling them how I feel about this person.
Basically, they feel that I deceived them by engaging in the penpal forum when I did and this has meant that any relationship or feelings between myself and this girl started in deception. They disagreed with my decision not to speak with them about this girl before and said I should have sought counsel (something I agree would have been ideal).
They have told me that I should stop communication with the girl (they have said that they will help me write an email to her explaining how they feel). They have also said that they would consider getting in contact with Christians in Bangkok to recommend a church the girl could attend so she has the opportunity to meet other Christians.
They have said that after we have stopped talking, God may tell them that is appropriate we re-commence communication - but when that happens this girl and I will not communicate anymore one to one but instead it will our whole family maybe calling her on skype once a week to read the bible with her. But I am been made to understand that this may not happen and when I cease communicating with her I may never talk with her again.
I have told my parents I need to seek God about this as I don't know what He wants me to do, but I know they expect I will do as they have asked. I feel really lost as I felt before speaking with my parents that this girl and I had done right with each other without damaging a prospective future and I felt God was telling me that He wanted us to stay in contact and one day to meet in person. I don't know what to do. I respect my parents very much and love them. But at the same time I felt God had blessed what happened between this girl and I. I'm feeling really lost.
I am a 23 year old male. I am university educated (currently doing post-graduate studies in my chosen field) and am financially independent, even to the point of sending money back to parents every fortnight to assist them in family saving (parents want to be able to purchase a house & my siblings and I are completely ok with helping them be able to do that). I live with a relative and one of my sisters (to save on living expenses) interstate to my parents and visit them twice a year when I'm having holidays.
Our family has always been incredibly close. My mum left the workforce before my oldest sibling was born to home educate. We have never been involved in a church at any point since before I was born due to a negative experience my parents had with a church shortly after they married.
Approximately eighteen months ago, shortly after I moved out of home, I become involved in a penpal forum without my parents knowledge. I ceased using this forum shortly after starting without any noteworthy incidents, however my account remained open with one of email addresses on the site. Last November (2015) I received contact from a girl 21 years old attending university in Thailand. I was somewhat cautious with this girl due to stories I had heard about Thai women that worked in bars in the hopes of profitably engaging in a relationship with foreign men (although a little research on the internet showed me that there are in fact many thai people not involved in this industry at all). Most of our communication has been through text message with us video calling on 4 different occasions.
The more I spoke with this girl, I realised my fears were unfounded. She attended university and lived with her grandmother on the outskirts of Bangkok. I came to (and still do) trust that she is nothing but honest with me in regards to this. As she came to trust me, I learned much about her past, including that when she was 18 she was involved with an older thai man and lost her virginity to him, something that she feels deep shame for. Her father left her mother when she was young and when she was 13, her mother left her and her sisters in the care of their aunt and grandmother.
I had the opportunity to share Jesus with this girl and told her about the best Thai translation of the bible and a book named 'From Buddha to Jesus' that I felt would be of benefit to her. She was responsive to this and wanted to know about what I believed. She started to read both, starting with 'From Buddha to Jesus'.
At Christmas (2015) I visited my family but did not speak of the girl with them as she was still reading the book and I felt I should give her the space to make a decision without involving my family. I returned to my place of work in the new year and after reading the gospel of John, in February (2016) the girl decided she wanted to become a Christian. I skyped her and we prayed together as she gave her heart to Jesus. At this point I wanted to be able to speak with my parents as I had come to care deeply for this girl even though she did not yet know (I had been able to gather that she too cared for me, she was a little more open in how she felt that I). For a number of reasons however, I felt that I could not tell my parents on skype or on the phone, namely that I knew there would be much conversation surrounding what I was going to tell them and it would be challenging at best to conduct this in my relative's house (I knew my parents would not want the relative knowing this straight away). I knew I would visit my family again in June, so decided to delay informing them this regarding what had occurred until my visit.
In the intervening months, I ended up sharing with this girl that I had developed feelings for her but that I did not yet know what God's will in this situation was - at no point did I tell her that I 'love her' or anything that I felt would be inappropriate. She accepted this and knew that if I would be able to arrange a time for us to meet, I would want to speak with my parents first regarding this.
Earlier this month I came to visit my parents and shared with them what had happened. Their response to this I have found a little difficult to agree with, but I have not argued with them and listened to how they feel, also telling them how I feel about this person.
Basically, they feel that I deceived them by engaging in the penpal forum when I did and this has meant that any relationship or feelings between myself and this girl started in deception. They disagreed with my decision not to speak with them about this girl before and said I should have sought counsel (something I agree would have been ideal).
They have told me that I should stop communication with the girl (they have said that they will help me write an email to her explaining how they feel). They have also said that they would consider getting in contact with Christians in Bangkok to recommend a church the girl could attend so she has the opportunity to meet other Christians.
They have said that after we have stopped talking, God may tell them that is appropriate we re-commence communication - but when that happens this girl and I will not communicate anymore one to one but instead it will our whole family maybe calling her on skype once a week to read the bible with her. But I am been made to understand that this may not happen and when I cease communicating with her I may never talk with her again.
I have told my parents I need to seek God about this as I don't know what He wants me to do, but I know they expect I will do as they have asked. I feel really lost as I felt before speaking with my parents that this girl and I had done right with each other without damaging a prospective future and I felt God was telling me that He wanted us to stay in contact and one day to meet in person. I don't know what to do. I respect my parents very much and love them. But at the same time I felt God had blessed what happened between this girl and I. I'm feeling really lost.
