Relapse imminent

[BelovedWord]

I am having major trouble dealing with the death of my grandpa. He passed yesterday and I have been wanting to drink so bad just to numb the pain for a little bit. I have been sober for over 4 years but I feel a relapse is imminent. I need some help bad or I am going to ruin my sobriety.

 

[Mela'h]

I am sorry for your loss. I know how such a great loss can send us back to the old coping mechanisms and how easy it is in such crisis to forget our new, healthy ones. You need to get to a meeting, you need to talk to someone who knows what your going through. Do not go this one alone, 4 years of sobriety is too amazing and long fought to give it up, it's too precious to let go of....hold on, pray, talk. Let someone help you through this....I'll be praying for you.

 

[unkern]

I come from a family of strong alcoholics, I myself was one for a large period of my life. My grandmother died about 5 years ago. When she died the whole family got together and began getting wasted, including me. My grandma was the only person I could trust, everyone else had treated me badly, her death was a huge loss for me. I didnt think the pain would ever go away because I had lost the only person close to my heart. When she died, she died shortly after saving my life and I know that she went to heaven were she now waits for me. Nothing could help that pain I felt. Only someone could take that pain away that was out of all seriousness God. The burden was lifted and he helped me realize he wanted her home, he was proud of her so her gave her the best gift of all.

Our stories may not be the same, but God may have said "that's enough" I want my child to come home. Kind of like a father wanting to finally have his son back. Your drinking will not make you feel better, in fact its a downer meaning it will make you feel much worse. Its up to God to take away that pain, and its up to you to give it to him.

God be with you

 

[BlessEwe]

Our brain does go back to the old coping desires when we are in hard situations. Hope you are surrounding yourself with the support of others, in AA ect. Sit in meetings if need be, just don't take that first drink/drug. Praying for you.

 

[TheMainException]

Dude, grieve...just let it out...deal with the pain one on one...face it as it is. It hurts, of course it does. A friend of mine died recently...it's rough. It's rougher than I ever would have imagined. Drinking would have been wonderful when I was suffering the most...but it would also have made the process of grieving an absolute MESS and it would have prolonged the process...causing a spiral of pain, grief and more alcohol to pour down my sobbing throat. You really need to take some serious time to cry your eyes out and remember him and treasure the time you had with him...don't let him go, just let his spirit pass to wait for you.

 

[MarkChristopher]

I pray that you'll find peace in your loss.

We are all thinking of you at this time

God bless you!

MarkChristopher

 

[Catherineanne]

I am having major trouble dealing with the death of my grandpa. He passed yesterday and I have been wanting to drink so bad just to numb the pain for a little bit. I have been sober for over 4 years but I feel a relapse is imminent. I need some help bad or I am going to ruin my sobriety.

I can understand. Really I can. My grandad died years ago, but the pain remains. But now I value it, because it tells me that I loved - still love - my grandad, and that this love is stronger than death. Even now I have nights when I get overwhelmed thinking of him, and I cry for him. But I also have days when I can think fondly of him, especially when eating raspberries, because he grew them in his garden and we picked them together, many, many years ago.

I believe love is the strongest force in the universe. If you believe that as well, then don't let yourself down by drinking now, when you have done so well for so long.

Pain is the price we pay for love. If we did not love so much, it would not hurt so much. Be proud of that pain, and embrace it; every ounce of that pain is a part of the love you shared with your grandpa, and it is holy and precious, and worth more than gold or diamonds or any earthly thing. It truly is treasure in heaven.

Why would you want this pain to go away, when it is so precious, and so important? Think of those who die with no-one to grieve them, no-one to cry for them. Would you want your grandpa to be one of them?

Let the pain wash over you, and know that it is the pain of love. It will hurt, more than you can bear, but it will not kill you.

God be with you.

 

[ww2pigeon]

I pray this finds you sober in Jesus name. Suround yourself with sober people and let them know you are having trouble. A problem shared is a problem cut in half. Go to a lot of meetings Christain base and plain A.A. If you know who your Father is in Heaven, you will get what you need no matter what meeting you are at.

 

[Divinah]

Yes, I hope you are doing well.

I hope you are letting those around you know about your troubles.

If not get somewhere where you neutrally CAN.

Blessings, DVNA