Reconciliation?

[Kehaar]

Hello all

To cut a long story short, there has been an ongoing feud on my fathers side of the family between himself and his sibling for 20+ years.

There were faults on both sides as far as I can make out, but to be honest, I have no interest in being part this argument. My aunt has made numerous attempts to try and get in contact with my father to try and settle things but he always ignores them - he won't speak to her on the phone, he tears up her letters without reading them etc.

Last month I came across one of the letters she'd sent that my mother had 'preserved' and wrote back to her. She replied shortly afterwards and was delighted to hear from me, saying she'd hoped for so long to be in touch with us again. It was a lovely letter and I see no reason why I shouldn't be in touch with her, although I know my father would not be happy. I have spoken to my brothers to try and encourage them to be in touch with her also but the response has been lukewarm at best. They protest and tell me they don't want to get in my fathers firing line, or that its been too long for them to get back in touch (which is a pathetic excuse - I managed to find things to talk to her about and I haven't seen her since I was 4 or 5!).

My aunt is now into her seventies and I feel it is about time things were settled but I can't seem to make anyone else but my mother see this. My father won't even discuss it

I feel I am doing the right thing by being in contact with her - anyone feel differently? Any advice on how I might be able to handle this to try and resolve a family feud?

Thanks,

Astral

 

[bliz]

I think that you are dong the right thing by being in touch with her and I hope that both of you will continue to enjoy the refound relationship.

I also think that the other members of your family who do not want such contact are missing out. But that is their choice. People cannot be dragged into a reconciliation; they must come willingly. Continue to pray that hearts will soften, but don't push for them to take action.

 

[Rose Kuo]

Maybe God will turn your father's heart by using "a little child to lead them". Pray for your dad to see that time is short and that reconciliation is God's highest and sweetest plan. I am trying to reconcile with someone who hurt me but I have forgiven and I am finding it impossible at this time. Do not be afraid you may be the go between these folks need. Ask God for changed hearts and to make you an example of forgiveness. Blessings.--Rose

 

[Lyle]

Astral - To cut a long story into about one paragraph I'll say this, 'Not only would it be a good thing, but it's Biblical as well.' The Bible has set apart standards to Christians about when we come into disagreement with others (whether they are family, fellow believers in Christ, or all else). That being to always come to a point of being reconciled. But, it seems that often in this world people do not want to let go in the past but continue to live in them all their lives (Which hinders God's work in the heart). After these 20+ years, it's by far time for this to stop. Someone, maybe on both sides, need to swallow their pride and forgive as they have been forgiven.

But right now all you can work with is this on a personal level. Though there may not be extreme differences on your part towards the members of the other party, you may yet be viewed as one that would take your father's side on the matter (whether it is indeed true or not). You should still try and reach beyond that and contact her, it may be that God will use you in a great way through this in her life (maybe even to be the solution to this ongoing problem). Do as the Bible would teach and work through this to your aunt. on't grow discouraged in continuing them to stay in touch, as the Bible itself teaches, "Do not frow weary in doing weel," "You will reap what you sow if you faint not," "God is not unjust to forget your labor of love that you have shown towards the saints.." (All of the which are quoted from memory).

Take courage even in this. Stay as an unspotted witness of this and work towards ending it..