recommitting my life today...

[yonderboy]

six months ago i broke up with my girlfriend of almost four years. we'd been living together, and i was not a christian. i was a practicing buddhist, open to christian ideas but not living the christian lifestyle. god put just the right people in my life exactly when i needed to find them, and my heart started to change. i realized how empty and restless i actually was, and found the courage through prayer and inspiration to start changing my life. i knew i couldnt stay in that relationship any longer - it wasnt healthy for either of us, and i knew it was keeping me from growing spiritually. see, there was a part of me that wanted very much to explore christianity, but my relationship was keeping me from it. she was violently opposed to all things christian, citing feminist ideas that the church was designed solely to keep women down.

so i took a leap of faith and ended it. the next four months were indescribable. the world started to change on me - more accurately, i think i changed in the world. everything looked different - blessings around every corner. things were very hard - she was the only girl i'd ever dated, and i wasnt dealing with the change as well as i could have - but i had this amazing sense that it was all for good. i felt joy in my heart - sometimes to the point where all i could do was keep from bursting as i laughed out loud!

god had shown me some awesome things i never would have seen - my daily bible readings taught me a lot of truths i realized i'd only ever been paying lipservice to in the past. my whole world changed...

somewhere along the line over the past couple of months ive noticed myself getting lukewarm in my faith. where i once believed, i started to question more and more... asking god to prove himself. don't like it. i've gotten more lax in my studying the word, and started slipping back into old habits I know I should steer clear of.

i broke down in the shower this morning... realized that in my habitual sins that i've been askng forgiveness for that i havent actually repented and turned away. eventually i always come back, always make exceptions. i havent been living the way god wants me to be, not fully... and now im ready to commit fully. im turning away from everything that will keep me from knowing god fully: porn, wanting to fit in and please others, to meet women, and beating myself over the head for every little slip up. yes, you read that right: my biggest stumbling block has always been being too hard on myself. i have a real problem forgiving myself any shortcomings, even though i know the lord welcomes me back with open arms - i let myself believe that he wont, and it hinders my relationship. i want to focus more on making christian friends and trusting god to bring me a new girlfriend than i have been - when i started i had faith that if i lived life his way that he'd bring me someone, but lately ive been taking it on myself, feeling pressure to find someone for myself. it's all safely back in his hands, where it belongs

gosh, this is running a lot longer than i'd intended... spose i just wanted to get it all out in the open. i'd appreciate it if you would all pray for me today is the first day of my full return to the road god would have me walk. ive got a feeling the temptations and trials may only get harder as the devil realizes he's not gripping me anymore - but i have faith i'll find exactly what i need every step of the way.

peace and love to all,
alberto

 

[songz777]

Thats great Yonderboy,
Yes the enemy will try to attack you, he does all of us, but the more you focus on God and the more you fill your life with Jesus and good christians, then the more strenght you will have to resist enemy attack.. thats how I found it. Infact brov, the more you fall in love with Jesus the more you dont want to sin (when your tempted) bless you I pray for you. JOHN

 

[plum]

you are constantly in my prayers.
even now.

 

[Kirisutokyoo-shinja]

Excellent! Praise God!

 

[wvmtnkid]

's and 's Alberto!

 

[Sketcher]

glad to hear you're with us now. welcome.

 

[JesusFollowerTtE]

Gosh im so so so so Proud of you! I have been done a simuler road as you and its hard! but your life will change but for the best! You will be in my prayers!!
My God Bless you!!

 

[Tumburu]

The road is difficult, no doubt. But you know life is always going to involve tough situations and choices. Christ is refusing to let go of you. May His presence continue to strengthen you and turn you into a "little Christ". Well done, brother....

 

[Quiet Storm]

I'm really proud of you as well. Praying for God to keep you strong.

-PS I immediately fell in love with your avatar. Just know that.

 

[Beauty4Ashes]

Dude, its so awesome to hear how God is working in your life. You seem like a pretty cool bean to me. I will put you into my prayers.

God bless

 

[FaithfulServant]

I recommend www.settingcaptivesfree.com for your pornography problem, it has helped many men just like you learn to beat their addictions through Christ. Also, there is a forum on here especially for pornography addiction.

God Bless,

Steffani

 

[yonderboy]

just wanted to thank you all for the encouragement and prayers... this place is so great! i dont have a lot of christian friends nearby, and i'm still awestruck by the support and wisdom im finding here... i love all of you very much

peace and love

 

[plum]

well these are your family members (so many siblings!). and it is such a blessing to know that we can build each other up as a family in the Kingdom.

loving on you.