Really depressing situation.

[websuspect]

I am im this really depressing situation that started Christmas. I met this girl that was working at the mall. She is a poor immigrant. I was talking to her and being very nice. I am from a poor nice family and i am nice to everyone. Well in the course of our conversation she took my hand and put it on her breast and held it there. I went back to see her about a month later and she did the same thing. I thought she liked me so I went to visit her regularly at the mall but I think she was bi Polar or something. She said she wanted to be with me but she didn't have time. After a while she started avoiding me but she got some of my internet contact information and she was writing me online but mostly teasing me. She got into one of my internet accounts and trashed it out. I was giving her the benefit of the doubt because I know most people have issues. To make things worse she knows my counselor took her in as a host family when she came to America. So she is friends with my counselor. Who like most people just takes my money and doesn't care about me at all. So I am about to discontinue counseling again. To be fair My counselor is very old with a small poodle and a self admitted doushebag.

I am 38 and I have only been in one series relationship all my life. Since I am a nice guy most people take advantage of me. I am very smart and I only maybe let people take advantage of me for a free ride or whatever but still it hurts. My mom had cancer 3 years ago. Most of my family is deceased and my friends are all married or moved away. I have a friend down the street thats a drug addict. Thats my only friend. I live in the old heroin town of Maryland and I dont have many friends. Im straight. There arent many people like me here. I totally wasted 5 years of my life working at the grocery store to pay for college.

I am starting to turn into a mean person and I am loosing my faith in God. I hate this because I am a good person. I wish God would just take me home. I don't know what else to do. I try to go for a 3 mile walk everyday. I don't meet many friendly people here. I had a dog for 11 years but he passed away 2 months ago. So I'm living alone.

I would have loved to have taken this person in my home and her family is working here to better there life but they just spend all their money on cigarettes and crap. I don't understand how we can have so many good opportunities in the US and people choose to be mean. I saw her yesterday and she was crying. I think it is fake. I gave her every opportunity to be friends and she made a big joke out of everything and was very mean to me. Her friends told me that she is bad news, an unwanted thing but to be fair. I don't think its fair to say that of anyone but I think she is just a messed up person. I am so emotionally sensitive. This hurt me real bad. I just want the hurt to stop. I have been suffering from depression for 15 years. I just got SSDI like 2 years ago and things were getting better until i met this person. I tried meds but it made the depression unbearable.

 

[HolyOne87]

*hugs*
sounds very tough to have such a thing happen.
but no matter how bad the situation, you shouldn't lose your faith in God. Like you said, that girl might have some problems.

Maybe instead of discontinuing counseling, you should just find a new and better counselor. Someone who cares about you and what you think. Plus, the newer counselor won't know that girl, which might be better as well for you.

Have you ever gone to things at your church? Maybe socialize with other people and get to know others, and develop new friendships.

I hope God helps you through this rough patch in your life. My prayers are with you

*hugs*

+K+

 

[deliciousBass]

So basically, what you're saying is that you've been depressed for quite some time now, you're lonely, you don't particularly like where you live and you're also heart broken.

I've been there. I don't live too far from you in Northern Virginia and all of my family lives on the West coast and my wife left me 10 months ago.

It IS tough... and the only way it will get better is if YOU take the steps necessary to better the situation. By now you know that no one is going to go out of their way to help you. You have to take care of yourself and get out of your comfort zone. For me, this meant walking into a church full of strangers and going out of my way to be social and make new friends. I also enrolled in classes at my local community college just to be around people and to make new friends. To make friends, you have to be a friend.

Second, I think you should find a good Christian counselor. I think HolyOne87 has some good advice in that respect. They're out there, you just have to take initiative and find one.

And finally, you are heart broken! What mends a broken heart better than time? Jesus Christ does... You WILL get over her. I'm sure she's not the only girl you've ever dated, and you're over them aren't you? If you feel like pursuing a relationship, you could always try a dating site . There are plenty of single women out there.

Above all else, don't lose hope. You could very well be at the bottom now and there's no place else to go but up after that. Also, have you thought about getting another dog? Also, do you work in a field where you can get work anywhere? You might enjoy living someplace else with a high singles population or something. I personally hate Maryland hehe.