• The General Mental Health Forum is now a Read Only Forum. As we had two large areas making it difficult for many to find, we decided to combine the Mental Health & the Recovery sections of the forum into Mental Health & Recovery as a whole. Physical Health still remains as it's own area within the entire Recovery area.

    If you are having struggles, need support in a particular area that you aren't finding a specific recovery area forum, you may find the General Struggles forum a great place to post. Any any that is related to emotions, self-esteem, insomnia, anger, relationship dynamics due to mental health and recovery and other issues that don't fit better in another forum would be examples of topics that might go there.

    If you have spiritual issues related to a mental health and recovery issue, please use the Recovery Related Spiritual Advice forum. This forum is designed to be like Christian Advice, only for recovery type of issues. Recovery being like a family in many ways, allows us to support one another together. May you be blessed today and each day.

    Kristen.NewCreation and FreeinChrist

  • Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

RAPISTS a male perspective

njcl

Well-Known Member
Jun 10, 2005
8,916
89
✟9,546.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Single
just a minor for all those who have been violated in the past

THE RAPIST - if the man was not arrested,charged or setenced it does not mean he has got away scott free,he has the terrifying unenviable pleasure of meeting THE CHRIST to explain his crime,punishment will be given there after.......:)

you can sit in judgement against him,hope you enjoy

sorry if this offends but violence calls for recompence with violence.......*LUVS & HUGS* to you all....:hug: :hug:
 

Tenebrae

A follower of The Way
Sep 30, 2005
14,294
1,998
floating in the ether, never been happier
Visit site
✟48,648.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Private
njcl said:
just a minor for all those who have been violated in the past

THE RAPIST - if the man was not arrested,charged or setenced it does not mean he has got away scott free,he has the terrifying unenviable pleasure of meeting THE CHRIST to explain his crime,punishment will be given there after.......:)

you can sit in judgement against him,hope you enjoy

sorry if this offends but violence calls for recompence with violence.......*LUVS & HUGS* to you all....:hug: :hug:
Sorry if this offends, however I'd say you dont know what your talking about

KNowing that my rapist was sent to prison didnt help me to recover. It didnt stop me from cringing when ever any male got to flipping close to me, even if their intentions were completey honorable. It didnt stop the nausea and utmost fear when I saw this man sitting in a car outside my house, even though he made no move towards me.

It didnt stop the nightmares or the panic attacks

I think people, even though they mean well, get so caught up in wanting to hurt the rapist or the offender, that they loose sight of supporting the victim. To be blunt, my rapist castrated or put to death wouldnt have helped me to deal with all of the above. What helped were freinds who didnt tell me what they thought should happen to my rapist. But people who unconditonally loved me, helped me to feel safe around males again and to not view all males as rapists. To walk out of my house and to live again, not to stay stuck in victim mode any longer than I had to....

And while these people supported me, I had to make the choice to move on into being an overcommer. Maybe initially my rapist being put to death or the knowledge that one day he would have to stand before God, would have helped, however in the long run the work towards recovery and being an overcommer was mine to do

The short point, make sure you dont get so caught up in wanting to hurt those people who do bad things that you loose sight of helping, supporting and loving your friend or family member who has been through this trauma
 
Upvote 0

Tenebrae

A follower of The Way
Sep 30, 2005
14,294
1,998
floating in the ether, never been happier
Visit site
✟48,648.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Private
njcl said:
im well aware of the hurt women go through,apologies i never mentioned the victims trauma,obviously at that judgement in heaven the women wont be suffering their nightmares etc but will be free of all memory of it
Not so much as a get at you more a reminder not to forget. sometimes people do, its not a deliberate thing, it just seems to happen
 
Upvote 0

Tenebrae

A follower of The Way
Sep 30, 2005
14,294
1,998
floating in the ether, never been happier
Visit site
✟48,648.00
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
Private
njcl said:
hence my obsessive hatred against all predators honey........:)
That was the biggest thing for me was forgiveness. There were many long convos with God mainly along the lines of me going "Forgive the man who raped me, God are you nuts..........."

And God saying "I forgave you".

Hatred, only hurts the person who hates. Forgiving someone who has hurt us so much is next to impossible on our own abilities, however with God everythings possible
 
Upvote 0

lucybee

Regular Member
May 31, 2005
348
8
41
✟529.00
Faith
Baptist
wizeone said:
Hatred, only hurts the person who hates. Forgiving someone who has hurt us so much is next to impossible on our own abilities, however with God everythings possible

Thats so true... On another board that I go to someone was talking about what they think should happen to rapist. It was so horrible what they were saying and I realized that I wouldnt want that to happen to the guy who hurt me. I'm not saying that I'm not mad at him because I am, and I am still going to have problems with him, but I realized that I had forgiven him. It was a wonderful feeling, a weight had been lifted off of me and I know that I am going to be ok :)
 
Upvote 0

CollectiveSoul

Active Member
Oct 27, 2005
380
28
45
✟684.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Constitution
njcl said:
im well aware of the hurt women go through,apologies i never mentioned the victims trauma,obviously at that judgement in heaven the women wont be suffering their nightmares etc but will be free of all memory of it
Women and Men,children are victims. I do believe NJCL is right in the sense ..wait til God gets a hold of the violent ones that sexually assault,rape and murder.I have peace in knowing it all comes around.
 
Upvote 0

lavenderskies

Senior Veteran
Mar 27, 2006
2,574
136
54
Kentucky
✟26,022.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Republican
When I was married to my first husband he was very violent. He raped me 2 weeks after I gave birth to our first child. When I called him a rapist he said to me "when two people are married they become one, it says so in the Bible and you cannot rape yourself therefore I cannot rape you" I will never forget that. He was so horrible.
Later after our divorce he raped a 14 year old girl, he did some time for that one.
 
Upvote 0

sethad

I'm not [senDing sublimInal messagEs!]
Jun 15, 2005
45,416
154
38
Visit site
✟69,022.00
Faith
Atheist
Marital Status
Single
BBrenton said:
What about child rapists that got saved after they've destroyed somebodies life, another person's marriage and given a young girl a lifetime of wrong decisions and drifting from Christ?

Boys get abused too, almost the same rate as girls do.

And you assume that all kids that get abused then make wrong decisions for the rest of their lives? I think you need to educate yourself a bit more about child sexual abuse.

I doubt that forgiving someone means forgetting what they did and not punishing them.
 
Upvote 0

lucybee

Regular Member
May 31, 2005
348
8
41
✟529.00
Faith
Baptist
BBrenton said:
We have to love them but realise they will get no punishment?
Or will they?

No, they will not be punished from God for what had happened. I believe that if they truly became saved and asked for forgiveness from God, He forgave them for their past sins.

Now I do beleieve that they might still be punished in this world. They broke a law and need to be punished for the crime they committed regardless of them being a Christian. Because you are a Christian does not mean that you would not get punished for stealing or killing someone, so yes I believe that they should be punished here on earth.
 
Upvote 0

LsforLove

Active Member
Apr 21, 2006
153
7
42
✟338.00
Faith
Catholic
Marital Status
Engaged
Politics
US-Others
wizeone said:
Sorry if this offends, however I'd say you dont know what your talking about

KNowing that my rapist was sent to prison didnt help me to recover. It didnt stop me from cringing when ever any male got to flipping close to me, even if their intentions were completey honorable. It didnt stop the nausea and utmost fear when I saw this man sitting in a car outside my house, even though he made no move towards me.

It didnt stop the nightmares or the panic attacks

I think people, even though they mean well, get so caught up in wanting to hurt the rapist or the offender, that they loose sight of supporting the victim. To be blunt, my rapist castrated or put to death wouldnt have helped me to deal with all of the above. What helped were freinds who didnt tell me what they thought should happen to my rapist. But people who unconditonally loved me, helped me to feel safe around males again and to not view all males as rapists. To walk out of my house and to live again, not to stay stuck in victim mode any longer than I had to....

And while these people supported me, I had to make the choice to move on into being an overcommer. Maybe initially my rapist being put to death or the knowledge that one day he would have to stand before God, would have helped, however in the long run the work towards recovery and being an overcommer was mine to do

The short point, make sure you dont get so caught up in wanting to hurt those people who do bad things that you loose sight of helping, supporting and loving your friend or family member who has been through this trauma

Having power and control taken from you is a scary and hard thing to overcome no matter what the situation is. However you bring out a great point, you must have the will of a survivor. I have done a lot of work with recovery both in and out of the church everything from substance addictions, sexual assault, and suicide watch. One summer when I was 18 all of us got the idea because we always encouraged the people we were trying to help to have what we called the “will to survive”. That we would pack up a meal about 4000 Calories (we all were on the Cross Country team so that really was about half a meal), and go out in the woods for 5 days. We trekked out and all of our food was gone by the 2nd day. We had to munch on grass, and anything else we could find. All of us lot over 15lbs. It was quite a experience, I can’t imagine living with that mental struggle of years, yet you have and you have overcome. You are much stronger, than most of the people of this world. You command my respect, and awe.
 
Upvote 0