R-E-S-P-E-C-T and guys

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

In the book For Women Only it explained how respect is very, very important to men. I do not doubt this. Who doesn't desire respect? I know that I do. However, it seems that respect is desired more-so by most men then most women. What is your opinion on this?

Another important question: How can I expressively demonstrate respect to my boyfriend? Just give me any kind of example, please.

Also- I got him a card the other day "just because", and wrote a message in it telling him thank you for things he does (like praying over our meals and helping me watch out in traffic when I'm driving), how they demonstrate his love and care to me, and just for being who he is. I plan to give it to him tomorrow night. According to the book, saying thank you and praising your guy really convey your respect for him. Is that correct? (Oh, and I didn't do the card thing just because of the book- I really did want to tell him thank you for his overall presence in my life and how he makes me happy. And to remind him that I thank God for him!)

 

[superfly]

However, it seems that respect is desired more-so by most men then most women. What is your opinion on this?

speaking from my own perspective, i'd say that i certainly value respect.

How can I expressively demonstrate respect to my boyfriend? Just give me any kind of example, please.

According to the book, saying thank you and praising your guy really convey your respect for him. Is that correct?

yeah, i got a big compliment from a friend a few weeks ago and although she didn't say, "i respect you," her compliment certainly conveyed that (in my eyes, anyway).

 

[Inperfected]

Hmm this is very interesting... please keep going....

 

[f U z ! o N]

id love for my girlfriend to compliment me more and tell me what i do for her. ive hinted that words of affirmation is one of my love languages. i just hope she gets it.....
but yes we guys love compliments and stuff. it shows us respect

 

[Spoilt Victorian Child]

Words of affirmation is my love language too, but while I really enjoy nice things she says about me, I need to meet her halfway and get over myself.

 

[f U z ! o N]

mine is phyiscal touch and words of affirmation

 

[Marie D]

I think it's important to show that you respect your boyfriend because if you're serious together and might marry the Bible tells us as a wife you should submit to your husband. He may be looking for signs now while you're courting that you defer to him and hold his opinions and character in high regard.

 

[bliz]

I think all that is very true.

I also think that is also true for women.

I think men also want to be loved as well as respected. They also want someone to be a true partner as well as a follower and supporter. To pare it down to one emotion and say "This is the one men want most." is an oversimplification. Which man? Which day of the week?

 

[feline]

I think it's important to show that you respect your boyfriend because if you're serious together and might marry the Bible tells us as a wife you should submit to your husband. He may be looking for signs now while you're courting that you defer to him and hold his opinions and character in high regard.

Unicorns are pretty!!!!

 

[Marie D]

Unicorns are pretty!!!!

Unicorns?

 

[B®ent]

This is an excellent post. When I saw the title, I thought it was going to be another man-bash festival about how all men are animals, etc, etc. But nope. Good to see women thinking about this.

 

[HumbleBee]

How to show R E S P E C T to your bf

Be...

Responsive...really listen when he speaks to you...try not lol to interrupt
Enjoying...affirm to him that you appreciate his company...also be a joy to him
Submissive...let him lead in your relationship
Peaceable...practice love that is patient and kind
Energetic...cheerfully contribute creative ideas in how to spend time together
Caring...showing interest in him and his hobbies
Truthful...will build trust

 

[Sketcher]

In the book For Women Only it explained how respect is very, very important to men. I do not doubt this. Who doesn't desire respect? I know that I do. However, it seems that respect is desired more-so by most men then most women. What is your opinion on this?

I think that is true. We value respect VERY much. It's interesting that the key rebuke to husbands is to love their wives, and the key rebuke to the wives is to respect their husbands. Men generally find it easier to give women the respectful distance we give to other men, but women want love, which is closer than that. Treating women like other men will do more harm than good for the women, because they are wired differently. Likewise, women would probably find it easier to "love" and "encourage" without respect - the way your mom would if you skinned your knee. The problem with that is, that does more harm than good to the man they are trying to help. More respect than that is needed. We don't want you to dry our tears, we want real affirmation. We've been mothered already.

I think men also want to be loved as well as respected. They also want someone to be a true partner as well as a follower and supporter. To pare it down to one emotion and say "This is the one men want most." is an oversimplification. Which man? Which day of the week?

Love is in there, but respect is generally the more dominant need we have.

Responsive...really listen when he speaks to you...try not lol to interrupt
Enjoying...affirm to him that you appreciate his company...also be a joy to him
Submissive...let him lead in your relationship
Peaceable...practice love that is patient and kind
Energetic...cheerfully contribute creative ideas in how to spend time together
Caring...showing interest in him and his hobbies
Truthful...will build trust

That is a very good start.

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

Thanks for your replies everyone, mostly very interesting and helpful. Let's keep this going!

How to show R E S P E C T to your bf

Be...

Responsive...really listen when he speaks to you...try not lol to interrupt
Enjoying...affirm to him that you appreciate his company...also be a joy to him
Submissive...let him lead in your relationship
Peaceable...practice love that is patient and kind
Energetic...cheerfully contribute creative ideas in how to spend time together
Caring...showing interest in him and his hobbies
Truthful...will build trust

And HumbleBee, that is excellent advice, do I have permission to copy it and pass it on to anyone else who might need it?

 

[B®ent]

HumbleBee, I'm not so sure about submission during courtship. Could you explain it?

(Rest assured I definitely believe wives must submit to their husbands.)

 

[bliz]

HumbleBee, I'm not so sure about submission during courtship. Could you explain it?

(Rest assured I definitely believe wives must submit to their husbands.)

Good question.

 

[HumbleBee]

And HumbleBee, that is excellent advice, do I have permission to copy it and pass it on to anyone else who might need it?

sure do

Submissive as in character, as in easy to get along with rather than cantankerous, tough to please.

 

[B®ent]

sure do

submissive as in easy to get along with rather than cantankerous, tough to please

I still don't understand, but that's Ok - do as you are called to do.

Regards,
Johannes

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

Maybe I can shed some light on the "submissiveness" in a dating relationship. This is how I understand it, partly from a few things I have read, and from talking with a married woman in her 50's at my church.

It is basically letting the guy be the agressor (sp?). Allow him to lead. Allow him to call you up a little bit more than you call him. Allow him to ask for time with you (ie: a date) a little bit more than you ask for time with him. Let him express his desire to pursue you. Don't take over his role, or supposedly, his interest will wane. I've even heard that women should let men be the ones to ultimately decide where the relationship is heading (as in, going from friends to dating, or asking to court, becoming very committed, engagement).

 

[LynzLovedByCHRIST]

I gave that card to my guy last night. But it was really late when he dropped me off, so I told him to just take it with him and read it later. He told me he would read it when he got home.

Today he came to my cousins' b-day party (their b-days are a day apart, and they're 3 years apart, so they celebrate the same day). Well, there were like 20 people (honestly) at their house, so it was very busy. Joe was there for a little over 2 hours (I left later on), and he was spending a lot of time playing video games with the kids, and eating, and talking to my uncle, which was actually totally cool with me. He didn't ever say anything about the card. So I'm wondering when he will. If he doesn't within a few days, I might though. That wouldn't be too pushy would it? Because it meant a lot to me to give it to him.