Questions

Nabob · Jul 26, 2005

If god puts us through pain and hardship in order to teach us something, then the thousands who were tortured and killed in concentration camps should have been the wisest/smartest people on the planet. Unfortunately no one told them how lucky they were to have such a wise teacher.
N

Phats · Jul 26, 2005

Sometimes, pain and hardship are just pain and hardship. It's part of being human. God can use these times to help us but He may not be the cause of them. Most of the time, WE are the problem.

Most likely, we will ALL suffer pain and hardship. The question is "How should we respond to it?"

dvd_holc · Jul 26, 2005

If you wish to debate, this is not the thread for you...we are here to heal this lady.

Lostandconfused · Jul 27, 2005

****God has brought me through symptoms like incredible shyness and introvertedness and social ineptitude,****

That is where I am at. I know that this is going to sound vain, but it is honest. Up until I reached adulthood I was the way you described above. When I got out of the house, I found out that I was pretty, I could make friends with those that always alluded me. Now, however it is all different. I made a hole for myself and it is hard to climb out. I have been on the "bad" side and I have learned how to survive around those most people feared. I was one of them. As I get older I find that I have outgrown being "tough". I have married into a family that is "good". I find myself once again feeling like I fall short. I have gained weight, my teeth need to be fixed, and I have to start working in the fall. I am scared. At least when I was younger I had the looks and attitude that made it easy for the doors of friendship to be opened. I feel sometimes like I am climbing an uphill battle and I don't know where to start. I am taking meds for depression and anxiety. These seem to help a little.

Sorry to ramble.

I have been thinking a lot. I love my son, but I have been wondering why I don't feel the same connection and love for him that I had with my oldest. I always knew that the problem was with me and not him. Sometimes I would try to make it up to him by spoiling him. But after thinking on this the other night, I realized it was because I no longer had it in me. Let me explain, when I went to court the last time, my mother used my love, forgiveness, and my goodness against me. The fact that I have forgiven my step-father and that we have talked it out, was used against me to say that it never happened. My mother used it as an excuse to not let me in the house after she kicked me out. She actually told the pastor that she was worried because "I had accused him of molestation she wouldn't let me in". Well that was years ago and she KNOWS the truth. Remember, it was she who told me I "seduced him". Go figure. See, my step-father is a christian. He is not the same person he was. The change in him is very obvious. He is doing his best to be who God wants him to be. I have forgiven it and I am at peace with it. But for my mother to use that against me in order to take my son away is unforgivable.
I have since shut down. I no longer am capable of feeling the way again. I do love my son, but not as much as I should. I don't feel the same way about my husband that I was had. I can't seem to get close to anybody.

dvd_holc · Jul 27, 2005

"But for my mother to use that against me in order to take my son away is unforgivable."

It was horrible, but the anger and rage against the injustice of it all has to be let go by you. You have to come to point to of being at peace with it. Being at peace is forgivening it all. God does not hold one sin against us when we ask forgivenness. I will empathize one sin is a complete horrid thing against him and his creation. It causes destruction. I am pointing this out to you to show you that being a true believer is putting away all the sins of others against you also as you have asked God to do so for you. It is a two way street. You mother is believing a lie. Don't turn from the truth. Yet, don't be angry with her. Let God work in her so she will be at peace with it...which she is not...You are never beyond the hope of change. To believe that you won't allow yourself to change is to allow those feelings of injustice to dominate your existence. You were not meant for that. It will only destroy your life and other people's lives. Ask and let God show you how to renew love for all things...even for the ones you most betrayed you and disrespected you. Everyday we renew our commitment to God and look for ways to love. Each day we choice to love and pursue love. Some days we don't wake up to the love...yet all the energy to do it is in the strength of God. It can seem very hard at times...but the hardness are only illusions to the truth. God is always standing in the door for all to accept and do his work. I will finish with the verse that helps me in times of trouble:

Phil 4:4-9
4Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable if anything is excellent or praiseworthythink about such things. 9Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in meput it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

EmZilla · Jul 28, 2005

He hears your prayers but I learned today that for God to answer our prayers we need to do our part and serve him and worship him and do the best we can to get through what life throws our way. One of the songs I listen to says "dont waste your sorrows they give you strength for tomorrow" which is tellin us that God puts things in our lives to grow closer to him and if we rely on him and put all our faith and trust in him he will bring you through your hard times. If you want some bible verses lemme know I know tons that will help you through it

Bible2 · Jul 30, 2005

EmZilla said:
He hears your prayers . . .

And he spake a parable unto them to this end, that men ought always to pray, and not to faint; Saying, There was in a city a judge, which feared not God, neither regarded man: And there was a widow in that city; and she came unto him, saying, Avenge me of mine adversary. And he would not for a while: but afterward he said within himself, Though I fear not God, nor regard man; Yet because this widow troubleth me, I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me. And the Lord said, Hear what the unjust judge saith. And shall not God avenge his own elect, which cry day and night unto him, though he bear long with them? I tell you that he will avenge them speedily. Nevertheless when the Son of man cometh, shall he find faith on the earth?

EmZilla said:
. . . but I learned today that for God to answer our prayers we need to do our part and serve him . . .

And whatsoever we ask, we receive of him, because we keep his commandments, and do those things that are pleasing in his sight.

EmZilla said:
. . . dont waste your sorrows they give you strength for tomorrow . . .

Knowing that tribulation worketh patience; And patience, experience; and experience, hope: And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.

EmZilla said:
. . . if we rely on him and put all our faith and trust in him he will bring you through your hard times . . .

Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.

Lostandconfused · Jul 30, 2005

Bible2,
Please post where these are found in the bible. Some sound familar, but a different translation is used. If the first is the old woman who grabbed the tail of His clothes, then it reads differntly in KJV and NASB, but until I get the scripture references I can't say for sure.

Lostandconfused · Jul 30, 2005

dvdholic,
I know that I need to forgive her. I shall never forget, but I will learn to forgive. It will take a while.

Bible2 · Jul 31, 2005

Lostandconfused said:
Please post where these are found in the bible . . .

Luke (18)

1 John (3)

Romans (5)

Philippians (4)

Bible2 · Jul 31, 2005

Lostandconfused said:
dvdholic,
I know that I need to forgive her. I shall never forget, but I will learn to forgive. It will take a while.

If ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

Lostandconfused · Jul 31, 2005

OK I was wrong on the Luke one. But you don't understand. I was serving Him, I was doing what was asked of me. I have waited over 26 years for God to do what he said.

I am learning to be more patient. It is not easy, but I guess that is why they call it work.

dvd_holc · Aug 1, 2005

Hello lost and confused,

there is no "i" in "dvdholc"

Not forgiving someone is saying that you choice to hate that person. You (we) choice to sin. I completely understand your statement as I have spent a long live not forgiving people and holding onto the hatred. It did not help me, nor did it gave me any statsifaction. It only destroys. I am not saying that now you are reestablishing your faith in God that you just turn the switch to love. Yet, the appears to be some work to still be done. There seems to bond of slavery to the hatred that we just don't want to give up. Yet, those bonds were made by your resilence to want that hatred, grief, and bitterness. You and I have to understand, accept, and change from the desire for keeping those emotions whereever we find them. (Denying they exist do not change them.) Holding onto those emotions (no matter the amount of those emotions you possess) effects us in some many subtle ways that we don't completely understand....They aren't what we were meant for. The injustice of this world is not a case to hate. It is hatred that fuels unforgiveness. I hope you come to understand that and not let Satan in at any chance....Love always forgives...and To love all is what Jesus preached and did.

lilmissmontana · Aug 13, 2005

I wrote you once before. I wanted to stop by, see how you're doing and say hello. I only have a few minutes so just read the recent posts here. I wanted to share with you something I very recently put together. When I see two people with opposing views I visualize them as two people with resistance between them. They move backward and forward with pushing each against the resistance. Each one is trying to win their opinion. This method always ends the same way. No win situation. Because it is always about justification. We obviously know we can't justify ourselves to God. What we do not see is we don't need to and shouldn't justify ourselves to each other because we are expecting to be right. However, if we think about it ultimately that would be expecting God to not only choose one over another (we know from the Bible he shows no partiality to men) but it would also be expecting God to justify us. If we truly have faith, therefore we don't need to justify ourselves to the other. So I visualize floating up above the situation and saying. "You know what, God, You have many resting places. I give you this situation and I choose to rest in one of those resting places and KNOW that you will justify me with that person. And I will remember that you don't think like man. Maybe I'm wrong in this situation but I also know you know the intent of my heart." It's a way of visually letting go of the situation. And it allows my mind to be free for a better use. Peace to you. Belle

die2live · Aug 14, 2005

Lostandconfused said:
Please, no pat answers. I don't want to hear "Nobody knows the mind of God" or "God has his reason", type of answers. I am looking for real answers. I know all the pat answers and they don't help.

How can God allow "his" people to hurt children. Children who are born again and have asked God to interfer and help? just for no answer. How can God allow the things to happen to me and never answer my yell for help? If He is suppose to be a father, how can he do such things?

I know you don't want any pat answers so I won't give any too you, although the two examples you gave do apply. Rather, I would like you to look at it from a different perspective. Suppose we were living in a utopia. No one ever got hurt, no one died. It was "perfect." Who would seek God? Who would care about anything greater than themselves. If we were always happy, then we wouldn't see our need for God. We would be blinded by that perfection. In a unique way, the pain and hardship we face on this physical earth opens our eyes to things we can't see, to the invisible.
Another thing to consider: God didn't choose this pain for us. We chose it. We choose it again every day, every time we sin. God chose heaven for us and he made a way for us to get there. If allowing that pain is the only way to get through to us, then it's worth it.

Lostandconfused · Feb 19, 2006

Any one who knows me knows that I left __ with alot of hurt and humiliation. I was so bitter for so long.

Like J I went back to my former self. I felt that it was the last nail in my "christian" coffin(sp). I had been hurt by christians all of my life. Not just little hurts, but hurts that last a life time. I went out badmouthing __ and christianity in general.

Over the last few months, things have been starting to change for me. It was like lightbulbs flashing in my head. The first was "why should I let them send me to hell with them?" The only person thatwas getting hurt here was me.

OK they hurt me, OK they are pretend christians, why would I allow them to control my spirit and where I am?

SO I gave my heart back to God. Once the anger over christianity was gone, there was nothing left to fight against and it was just between me and my God.I know we have all heard the "forgive as God as forgiven us". I know that I have heard this my entire life, but it never clicked before last week. I know that I have sinned. I have cursed God, I have called on demons, I have lived in ways I know I should not.

Are their sins any worse than mine? To me it might seem so, because it is so personal, but in the large scheme of things, no they aren't. It just doesn't seem logical for me to sin because they are.

I have found myself to be as much of a hyprocrite as they are.While I have sat back and spent most of my time judging them and their actions, proving to myself that they arent' real christians, I have failed to act and behave as I know I should. I have not treated people with the same love and respect that I have judged others for not giving to me.

Romans 12:
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.
20 "BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD."
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Now I have asked myself in the past why God never took up my revenge against those who have hurt me. I have learned to forgive and not judge those who hurt me, but the question of why He never fulfilled His promise to me had never been answered. Now it has.

I never gave Him the chance!! I took my revenge in everyway I could. That and I have to be right with God in order for Him to take up my revenge. This does not mean being right with God UNTIL I get hurt, this means STAY right with Him.

Being right and then going down the wrong path, nulifies the promise.

linssue55 · Mar 6, 2006

Lostandconfused said:
Please, no pat answers. I don't want to hear "Nobody knows the mind of God" or "God has his reason", type of answers. I am looking for real answers. I know all the pat answers and they don't help.

How can God allow "his" people to hurt children. Children who are born again and have asked God to interfer and help? just for no answer. How can God allow the things to happen to me and never answer my yell for help? If He is suppose to be a father, how can he do such things?

Because you are NOT completely, and totaly waiting on the Lord. If you ask Him for something, you have to GIVE IT TO HIM, and move on with your life. As long as your worry, or fret, or tap your foot, you are not trusting in Him. The Lord has HIS time, not yours, and not mine, maybe you are not spiritualy mature enough yet, and He is waiting for you to become so, in the mean time your prayers will not be answered. There is a right time for every thing, He know's the right time for you. Use Rom. 8:28, and move on with your life.

amdntstr · Mar 6, 2006

Lostandconfused said:
Any one who knows me knows that I left __ with alot of hurt and humiliation. I was so bitter for so long.

Like J I went back to my former self. I felt that it was the last nail in my "christian" coffin(sp). I had been hurt by christians all of my life. Not just little hurts, but hurts that last a life time. I went out badmouthing __ and christianity in general.

Over the last few months, things have been starting to change for me. It was like lightbulbs flashing in my head. The first was "why should I let them send me to hell with them?" The only person thatwas getting hurt here was me.

OK they hurt me, OK they are pretend christians, why would I allow them to control my spirit and where I am?

SO I gave my heart back to God. Once the anger over christianity was gone, there was nothing left to fight against and it was just between me and my God.I know we have all heard the "forgive as God as forgiven us". I know that I have heard this my entire life, but it never clicked before last week. I know that I have sinned. I have cursed God, I have called on demons, I have lived in ways I know I should not.

Are their sins any worse than mine? To me it might seem so, because it is so personal, but in the large scheme of things, no they aren't. It just doesn't seem logical for me to sin because they are.

I have found myself to be as much of a hyprocrite as they are.While I have sat back and spent most of my time judging them and their actions, proving to myself that they arent' real christians, I have failed to act and behave as I know I should. I have not treated people with the same love and respect that I have judged others for not giving to me.

Romans 12:
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
15 Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.
16 Be of the same mind toward one another; do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.
17 Never pay back evil for evil to anyone. Respect what is right in the sight of all men.
18 If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men.
19 Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.
20 "BUT IF YOUR ENEMY IS HUNGRY, FEED HIM, AND IF HE IS THIRSTY, GIVE HIM A DRINK; FOR IN SO DOING YOU WILL HEAP BURNING COALS ON HIS HEAD."
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Now I have asked myself in the past why God never took up my revenge against those who have hurt me. I have learned to forgive and not judge those who hurt me, but the question of why He never fulfilled His promise to me had never been answered. Now it has.

I never gave Him the chance!! I took my revenge in everyway I could. That and I have to be right with God in order for Him to take up my revenge. This does not mean being right with God UNTIL I get hurt, this means STAY right with Him.

Being right and then going down the wrong path, nulifies the promise.

Been there and done that months ago. As you can see I am no longer lostand confused but have gone back to who I always have been.

Thank you for your answer and concern. God gave me my answer and I am holding on to His promises.

amdntstr · Mar 6, 2006

I invite you to visit my blog which will give the story as it unfolded.

Plus it will give you more of an idea of where I am now. I am now in a ministry that exist to help others who have been hurt.

God said that "all things work together for the good". I have been able to use my pains and my mistakes to help others.

I feel as if I am able to show more compassion and am able to help others. God has shown me how to take the bad and do somthing good with it.

http://amdntstr1.blogspot.com/

linssue55 · Mar 8, 2006

amdntstr said:
Been there and done that months ago. As you can see I am no longer lostand confused but have gone back to who I always have been.

Thank you for your answer and concern. God gave me my answer and I am holding on to His promises.

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