Lizzie01 said:
Thank you all for replying and as for fun I mean like you can't do anything bad.. like I know the 3 or 4 of my friends like to go to parties and it's nothing bad about it but it depends what u do there and how much you drink and they think that Christians can't do anything bad and they are always happy and they are perfect. It's like don't swear she doesn't like it. I also depend more on a relationship then any religion, just with traditions with churches, I don't mind them but I would rather have a personal thing.
This is what I always hear about what people say about christians not just with my friends but do you think this true or not? How can I be humble and talk to my friends who aren't saved? what do you think?
~ Elizabeth
Hi Lizzie.
Ok, what do I think
. I think that God made us each individuals, and you should be yourself. The thing with the relationships with your friends and the parties
. I have a couple of suggestions for you. Maybe you can use them to reach your friends.
First, if youre like most people your age (Im guessing in your late teens by the picture youve got on your profile) youre somewhat uncomfortable talking to them about your beliefs, right? You want to be looked at as normal and not shunned because of it. The comment about Dont swear, she doesnt like shows that they notice something different already. Thats a great thing! It shows that they have respect for you!
Now all you have to do is find the way to tell them WHY you dont like it.
One of the things I do when faced with people that swear when Im not around, but stop when I am, which really is a funny thing to me, is tell them that I dont like them swearing, but they dont need to stop because of me. I only ask them NOT to take the Lords name in vain. Of course, I have a question whenever somebody does. I get a lot of strange looks, but it gets them to thinking. I ask them, Why is it that people will use Jesus name as a swear word, but you never hear anybody use Buddha? Or Krishna? Or any of the others? Why just Jesus?" And I dont make it a rhetorical question. I expect an answer. Most of the time the answer is, I dont know, but sometimes people will say something like, Because hes not real, to which I ask, And Buddha is? Point made, I move on.
Next, parties
. Ahhhh what fun they can be
but why do they have to have the drinks or other things? So what you need to do is have a party of your own. Dancing, talking, things like that
. A beach or pool party, if you can do that. But no booze or anything else. One of the things I rememeber when I used to go to parties like that was the beer chugging contests. So, keeping with that kind of thing, try a soda chugging contest. If they think it's easy, have them try it!! But have an extra trash can near by. Sombody will need it!
If you can do it, weather permitting, have some outside games. One that's a big hit with the kids here is soccer vollyball.Basically it's vollyball, but they can't use their hands or arms below the elbow. Feet, legs, shoulders... yep. Just make sure you have the net set up where there's nothing overhead that will break if it's hit by the ball.
Dancing... it's funny how a lot of Christians say we shouldn't dance unless it worshiping the Lord. My opinion is that it's ok, as long as it's not erotic. Of course youll have to be selective on the music. I suggest using some of the non-Christian dance music, but nothing that talks about sex or drugs. Depending on what the music is they like, there are a lot of Christian groups that match up to non-Christian groups. And, of course, mix in some Christian music. Dont point it out, but let it play and watch for reactions.
What kind of music is normally played at these parties? I ask because it varies from area to area. (As a side note, what kind of music do bunnies like?) From there you can check out some of the music online or at a Christian bookstore.(Bunnies like Hip-Hop) If you cant find anything, send me a PM and Ill give you some site addresses to help you.
Oh, unless youve got really cool parents, ask them to stay around, but not in the mix. They need to let you control the whole thing, but should be there in case you need their help. Try to explain it in a way that doesn't make them feel like they're not wanted, but that you need to do this alone as a way to grow and mature. You'll learn a lot from doing these parties.
Get a couple of friends you can trust, preferably Christian friends, and ask them to help you host it. Set up some food and drinks, and ask them help keep tabs on it. They can also mingle and watch for the people that are doing things they shouldn't be. If they don't want to deal with it, they can tell you about it. If it's something you feel uncomfortable dealing with, get one of your parents. Make sure they deal with that one situation and don't shut down the party becaue of one thing.
One thing Ive done when I know there are some drinkers in the group that attends is have two bowels of punch and trade them out every few minutes. I toss the old punch, and make a new batch. That way if somebody spikes the punch, it wont be too bad. And if you keep doing that, you can say its to keep it cold, which is the truth. Of course, Im a big one for having a tub of cans or bottles sodas in it. Harder to spike them. And don't use the two leter bottles. They can be spiked.
Another thing you might want to consider doing is having some wittnessing tracts around. Put them on the snack table, or on end tables, someplace where they can be seen and picked up. A friend of mine puts them in the bathroom on a little stand by the sink. That way, she says, if they want to read it, they won't have to worry about somebody seeing them pick it up. They can just put it in a pocket and read it later.
When it comes to the things people say about Christians
they think that Christians can't do anything bad and they are always happy and they are perfect. Let them see when youre having a bad day, or dealing with a problem, or when youre sad. When, and if, they comment on how Christians arent supposed to be sad, show them where Jesus was dealing with anger
. The money changers table in the temple
or when He was sad
the death of Lazarus
Then tell them that being a Christian doesnt mean things are perfect, but that you can rely on God (or Jesus) to help you deal with them without drugs or drinking
things like that work. Being yourself is the best way to wittness to them, but be yourself in Christ, not in the world.
That same comment, and the conflicts you're dealing with, shows that it takes a LOT more courage and strength to be a Christian than it does to conform. Don't EVER think you're weak because you're a Christian! To you, Lizzie, I will say, Be strong in Lord and of good cheer! Hard as it may be, when you stick to your beliefs you will be more respected, and the friends you have will be the ones that won't reject you because of what you believe.
Read my Signature sometime. It's a great way to think about our faith.
If theres anything else I can help you with, just ask. Feel free to send me a PM if you don't want to post it here.
God Bless and Keep you safe in His Care!
NS