Question

[brightfuture2172]

I'm not sure where to put this. Is there a divorce group on this board? I'm in my 40s so this is close enough.

Anyway, is it true that once a cheater always a cheater especially when they have sociopath like qualities? I know I wasn't perfect, but my ex-husband - who I left because he was emotionally abusive and cheating up a storm.... was a compulsive cheater and he cheated on the people he cheated on me with and lied like a smoke stack....basically a ton.... I just now saw photos of him on FB with this girl...and he looked all happy.... as happy as he can look... his eyes never did "sparkle".... do you think it's possible he's turned a new leaf? I just want to shrivel up and die (not literally).... I haven't even had a date but you know what, I'm not ready and am enjoying being single.... I mean he was a super great (kind of) boyfriend with me...and it changed almost right at the end of the honeymoon...that's when the change started....my biggest fear is I made him that way...or made him worse....I just want to get over it... he's not worth it!!!!

and men always seem to move on quicker....not like I want him back or anything.... I don't know why I do this to myself.... and again, I'm thinking...I should just delete FB... it's kind of dumb...

Thanks for letting me vent....

 

[jubileeLEE]

He reminds me of my stepfather, good looking, very charismatic, goes out of his way to get people to like him. He gets very emotional & talks to people about how much he could feel the love of God flowing for them. Tells the That people look down on them but they have a precious spirit & people are wrong. He has been married 4 times & my mother was his 4th wife. I hope he does not get married again. I think he stayed married to my mother because of his ability to control her.
Well, to your question, he might have found someone who he gets more financial benefits from, maybe she has her own apartment or transportation so he will continue to cheat but not as flagrantly. A sociopath will do what they have to do to get what they want but it is always about them.
My father used to bring his girlfriends to the room with my mother right there & tell her to get them a glass of water. After they divorced he married the woman he was living with, she was not the type of person that he would do that to. An evening when he came in with his girlfriend to bathe & dress for their date, usually ended with him coming back late to beat her up because she was not friendly. He did not do that with his next wife.
Do not get involved right away, go to counseling, get close to God. I mean learn the signs of an abusive person. They tend to make you dependent on them & fill a hole. However, maybe they show a lot of aggression towards the cashier at McD & are quick to insult people for little. Then rant all day about how people do not understand the problem they create. They promise the moon but after three days, you are looking for too much if you expect them to keep their word.
Big one they praise you in front of everyone when you do what they want but they criticize you when you do what you want by implying that you could cost them in some big way. Just be aware of selfish people, that does not necessarily mean they don't give. You can see that they are the center of their thoughts, they are the person they live for.

 

[rainy]

Hi brightfuture ,
It's good your thinking about things. Also while you we're venting you answered the question. Sometimes venting clears your mind and helps you think more clearly on what is best for you. Another thing before doing anything pray first, this helps.
Praying for you,
Father in heaven praying for bright future for guidance in this situation also that her needs be met amen