Question...

TrueKopite · Oct 22, 2009

It's a bit embarresing talking about this, but I wondered how all you guys coped with erections?

Me and a girl from my Church have started dating, when we're out holding hands and stuff I can never seem to control my erections. I don't think she's ever noticed but it's so embarresing, especially when it won't go down...

I don't ever watch porn or anything so it's not my inner desires, I just always seem to get them and I really don't like it, just makes me feel awkward.

Will they eventually stop as I get used to being around her more? Because at the moment they happen a lot.

How did you guys deal with it? Cause I know I can't be the only Christian boy dealing with this problem.

Thanks,

Paul

gzt · Oct 22, 2009

I don't see why watching/not watching porn would have anything to do with this or with inner desires, but, okay. How old are you? That's not important, really, but it gives some context. People don't really have control, but this is less of a problem as you get older. Consider wearing a long jacket or sweater.

Luther073082 · Oct 22, 2009

I can control mine about 90% to 95% of the time at this point in my life. It is more difficult to control when you are younger. It takes some learning.

Mostly you have to learn to control your thoughts.

TrueKopite · Oct 23, 2009

I'm 19 so it's a bit strange?

I never get random erections anymore just when I'm with her holding her hand or something like that. It's not like I think of anything though, it's kinda' like her touch sets it off. Maybe I'll get better with time...

Luther073082 · Oct 23, 2009

Hopefully it should. Is this your first girlfriend?

TrueKopite · Oct 23, 2009

Luther073082 · Oct 26, 2009

I think you will get used to it with time.

ZeKe9807 · Oct 26, 2009

So, it happens, my boyfriend and I actually had an incredibly awkward talk about it once and after that he felt a lot less embarrassed by it. I didn't really understand it but he explained that theres not a lot he can do, its not by choice and it doesn't really mean anything. After that understanding it made it less awkward. At first it was really awkward especially if i would notice (not that i was trying to or anything) since i didn't understand (i'm kinda sheltered!)i thought it was like my fault and horrible but he explained that it wasn't and now we kinda just laugh thinking back on awkward past conversations. good luck.

Johnnz · Oct 30, 2009

You are perfectly normal. That's what does happen - because God designed us that way. We just need to be responsible about our sexual desires.

John
NZ

Windmill · Oct 30, 2009

TrueKopite said:
It's a bit embarresing talking about this, but I wondered how all you guys coped with erections?

Me and a girl from my Church have started dating, when we're out holding hands and stuff I can never seem to control my erections. I don't think she's ever noticed but it's so embarresing, especially when it won't go down...

I don't ever watch porn or anything so it's not my inner desires, I just always seem to get them and I really don't like it, just makes me feel awkward.

Will they eventually stop as I get used to being around her more? Because at the moment they happen a lot.

How did you guys deal with it? Cause I know I can't be the only Christian boy dealing with this problem.

Thanks,

Paul

Unfortunately as a girl I can't speak from experience on the going away part D) but we do understand. Its not like you can help it. I think the best way is to wear tight fitting clothing if you don't want to shout it to the whole world. Don't wear boxers, wear tight fitting underwear. That should help minimise the bulge. Don't wear loose pants, but wear jeans. That should also help.

latteda · Oct 30, 2009

And if she notices, it probably won't be a huge deal to her. It may be a bit embarrassing at first, but I'm sure she'll understand.

The Nihilist · Nov 1, 2009

Deal with that before you go see her. Everyone knows exactly what I mean, so let's not go into any detail.

alexanderjc · Nov 2, 2009

TrueKopite said:
It's a bit embarresing talking about this, but I wondered how all you guys coped with erections?

Me and a girl from my Church have started dating, when we're out holding hands and stuff I can never seem to control my erections. I don't think she's ever noticed but it's so embarresing, especially when it won't go down...

I don't ever watch porn or anything so it's not my inner desires, I just always seem to get them and I really don't like it, just makes me feel awkward.

Will they eventually stop as I get used to being around her more? Because at the moment they happen a lot.

How did you guys deal with it? Cause I know I can't be the only Christian boy dealing with this problem.

Thanks,

Paul

Let's deal with this in a Christian manner. First what you are experiencing at your age is normal. However caution is recommended while you are trying to find a wife for yourself and I pray that this is what you are doing. Dating for any other reason should not be pursued because it will only lead you down the wrong path and then you will be asking how do a christian handle sex before marriage.

We men know what happens to us when we are around females and so does our adversary. If you want to control or minimize an erection then do little to no kissing or touching. These are precursers to arousal of the senses and creates that burning in which Paul speaks about in 1 Cor 7:9.

If both of you are virgins then I applaud you and pray that God will continue to bless you to stay that way until He has joined you as one in marriage.

On another note, don't wear tight pants but supportive underwear to include boxer briefs. Tight pants would only reveal what you don't want to reveal. Loose fitting clothing will be less restrictive and will along with the appropriate underwear, not embarrass you.

TrueKopite · Nov 4, 2009

Thanks guys.

And I don't date casually. I've always said I'd rather wait for the right girl, and I now feel I've found her. I suppose it will get easier with time, I starting to learn what jeans to wear etc as well haha.

But yeh, we had our first kiss the other day (my first ever, like I said, waiting for the right girl) and it was awesome!

latteda · Nov 5, 2009

TrueKopite said:
Thanks guys.

And I don't date casually. I've always said I'd rather wait for the right girl, and I now feel I've found her. I suppose it will get easier with time, I starting to learn what jeans to wear etc as well haha.

But yeh, we had our first kiss the other day (my first ever, like I said, waiting for the right girl) and it was awesome!

Good for you. Glad things are going well.

his1 · Nov 25, 2009

Hi

You mustn't feel guilty over a basic biological function. It is something that we can't control.
It will get easier as you get older.
Just remember, that is what is supposed to happen to it!

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