question to pastors...

[chanis]

would you guys allow a leader inyour church to continue ministering if they were in a relationship with a nonbeliever? why or why not? I'm interested in what you guys have to say...

 

[ZiSunka]

You mean a romantic relationship, like a girlfriend/boyfriend thing?

Why not?

 

[servant4ever]

Well, the Bible says that believers are not to be yoked with unbelievers. In my church, I guess I would want my preacher to practice what he preaches.

 

[chanis]

You mean a romantic relationship, like a girlfriend/boyfriend thing?

Why not?

yes if they were romantically involved in a relationship...

 

[chanis]

Well, the Bible says that believers are not to be yoked with unbelievers. In my church, I guess I would want my preacher to practice what he preaches.

ok but my question is as a pastor what would be your opinon, how would you deal with it?

 

[Canadianmade]

It really depends on the leadership position that they are in. Leadership comes in many forms and expressions. Would i allow that person to serve in a non-teaching position (play on worship team, usher, greet, share testimony ect), yes. Would i allow that person teach or preach or give Godly counsel (elder), i would probably say no.

We are called to serve the Lord in all areas of our lives. If a person is in a romantic relationship with a non-believer they are put in a position that makes growing together in the Lord impossible. Moral values can be the same in a beliver/un-believer relationship. Both can be great people. However, spiritual values would not be the same. Can you pray with that person? Can you make decisions together with the LOrd's guidance. Is the object of your faith the same? No to all those questtions.

In my opinion, a leader or elder (Titus) needs to be set apart. For that reason i would not allow teaching or preaching from an individual who is probably not willing to follow God's plan for leadership and are holding on to their own plan. While not perfect, a leader must be doing everything they can to honor the Lord in all areas on their lives.

Thank for allowing me so share my opinion.

 

[servant4ever]

ok but my question is as a pastor what would be your opinon, how would you deal with it?

I'm not a pastor right now, but as Canadianmade stated, it just depends what level of ministry they are in, but as a future pastor, I know I will be attempting to preach against unChristian romantic relationships, but as we all know, we are not perfect and there will be some people in the church that decide to have a romantic relationship with a nonChristian considering that they could "evangelize date" or something like that.

 

[Crosslight]

If you know that the person he is seeing is 'unsaved,' and if the pastor knows this person is unsaved, and if he goes ahead and preaches the gospel that says not to be unequally yoked.. and it is even more explained in the examples of the old testament.. yet he would preach against what he is doing himself..

then Paul has said that he brings condemnation against himself.

Your position is to pray for him. Pray for mercy and true spiritual sight. In time, you may move on.. you will be fine, but he will not be fine if they marry because the unbeliever is a door the adversary can use to slowly destroy the pastor and the holy work the Lord has called him to do.

Pray... and believe the Lord hears your prayers for His servant.. and watch.. watch and see what the Lord will do to answer your prayers.. if you will stand firm in this prayer.. the Lord will have ground to bless all and deliver all involved. Perhaps the unbeliever will be saved and set on fire for the gospel thus turning your whole church upside down for Jesus.. wheeeooo

pray


shalom
stacie

 

[kerux]

Alright, let's put a little twist on this. What if the leader is still relatively new in their walk with Christ? Let's say the relationship started before they came to Christ, should they walk away from the relationship then?

I feel that it could be answered both ways. I would evaluate the specific relationship in question on a case by case basis. I don't think we should be so quick to universally say that the person should not be in that relationship.

Remember, we were all unbelievers at one time ourselves.

 

[ZiSunka]

yes if they were romantically involved in a relationship...

How do you know this person is unsaved? Is it because they don't go to your church? Lot's of saved people don't go to church at all, just look at the Home Church/Unchurched forum! Not going to church is no evidence at all that someone is not saved.

 

[ZiSunka]

ok but my question is as a pastor what would be your opinon, how would you deal with it?

Why are you second guessing your pastor? If this person is a leader, the pastor probably knows more about the situation than you do and if he/she hasn't "dealt" with, then it's probably nothing for you to worry about either. This thread has smacks of jugding, condemnation and pride.

 

[SoulFly51]

would you guys allow a leader inyour church to continue ministering if they were in a relationship with a nonbeliever? why or why not?

Short answer - no (if you mean a romantic relationship with a non-believer; non-romantic relationships with non-believers are of course highly encouraged).

Church leaders are called to a higher standard than a regular church member and are also judged more harshly. Leaders set the example for everyone else to follow.

God has taught us through His Word that it is not good to be involved in a romantic relationship with a non-believer. We should do what God says.

Now then, if this leader was married or in this relationship with the non-believer before they converted and the other party still hasn't become a Christian - that is one thing and in my opinion is permissable, but if this leader was already a Christian and a leader before they got involved in this relationship with the non-Christian I would be inclined to disapprove according to what the Bible says.

 

[SoulFly51]

How do you know this person is unsaved? Is it because they don't go to your church? Lot's of saved people don't go to church at all, just look at the Home Church/Unchurched forum! Not going to church is no evidence at all that someone is not saved.

Quick point - if a person attends a gathering of believers they "go to church" be it in a home or otherwise. Your post seems to imply that believers who prefer to congregate in homes aren't apart of a church and I disagree with that. Churches met "from house to house" in the first century.

Also, if someone claims to be a believer yet is unwilling to gather together with other believers to celebrate God, then something is wrong!

Unwillingness to congregate with any other believers is a spiritual red flag 100% of the time.

 

[chanis]

your responses are awesome! now here is my opinion...I think that if there is a leader teaching against this and they get involved in a relationship after the fact then they're in position to ministering to their "flock" because they are going against what they are teaching and the bible talks about not doing this...this is the reason JC was on the pharasees case all the time...I think that the person's credibility would totally be lost with the people their ministering...
the reason I asked this was because it seems to be happening a lot and I was curious to know what Pastors thought about this and how they'd handle a situation...I know as a youth pastor I've dealt with some of my leaders and have talked to them and if they've refused I've had to withdraw them from leadership position because as wes said we (ministers) are called to a higher standard...and if we're not living by it then...we've totally just given reason for our flock to settle for less...

 

[chanis]

How do you know this person is unsaved? Is it because they don't go to your church? Lot's of saved people don't go to church at all, just look at the Home Church/Unchurched forum! Not going to church is no evidence at all that someone is not saved.

the bible says we're known by our fruits...thats all I can say...the aroma (as corinthians states) that we give to others will either draw others or push them away...this is how we know if others are genuinely seeking Christ by the fruits that they produce...how can one grow spiritually if they're not attedning some type of "fellowship among believers" Paul tells us not to forsake the fellowship among believers becasue if we're not in company of others who are striving to be like JC it's much easier to get discouraged and to fall away...we need Iron to sharpen Iron...